I hate autism
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13-12-2012, 12:44 PM
RE: I hate autism
(13-12-2012 12:28 PM)legendoflink Wrote:  My youngest sister is on the spectrum (she is 3).
Honestly, I hate it.
I wish that she could utter more than just what we ask her to say.
I wish that she knew how to play with others instead of keeping to herself, when you can tell she wants someone.
I wish that she would sing along with me, instead of yelling at everyone who even mutters a tune.
I wish that she didn't have to go through all of this.
And it breaks my heart to know that she has to.
-tears up-
Honestly, I wish that I was the one with autism and not her.

Omg my son would yell and scream if we began to sing! I remember many times, in the car driving around looking at Christmas lights and we'd start singing and being silly -- he'd just flip. Once I wanted to have his picture taken with his brother and to make him smile, the woman started singing the spongebob theme. Naturally he had a melt-down. In many ways his autism did control our lives. Without us really acknowledging that control.

Hopefully tho, for your sister being, so young now, early intervention can make a huge difference.
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13-12-2012, 01:01 PM
RE: I hate autism
(13-12-2012 06:47 AM)Dark Light Wrote:  I don't know that I've ever met anyone with autism, but I do remember in Psych class the doc said that autism should be thought of as an umbrella term that encompasses several different related disorders. From what I've seen in the media, and from his account with his autistic son, I venture to say he may very well be correct. Austism can be crippling (not speaking of physical ailments), or it can be a blessing, as some famously brilliant people have some form of autism. I think even in the severe cases, such as your son, he may not be able to communicate with you what he thinks very well, but I'm sure on some level he really does appreciate, and love you, as much as a thirteen year old boy can anyhow. Like I said, I don't have any personal experiences with autism, and I am largely ignorant on the subject so if I am talking out of my ass on something I stated, didn't mean to...

There is a whole tot of regular 13 year old stuff too :-) sometimes when he talks back to me...I will let it slide, because he's behaving like a "typical 13 year old" however, what I can't do is allow it to become habit. Because then he'll assume he can do it with everyone. He has no "edit" or "pause" in his mind. What sounds good in his head -- isn't always what should be spoken out loud. There are so many things we just take for granted -- skills we use in daily life when dealing with other people he just can't fathom them. Yet, he is extremely honest. Painfully so. Lol
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13-12-2012, 11:01 PM
RE: I hate autism
Hi op it's me again. I usually lash out without takong into account the uniqueness if each situation. What part of the spectrum does your son fall under? Aspergers? Pdd? Classic?

Also, I work with other autistic people weekly, teaching them how to communicate appropriately. The easiest way for me to get them to pay attention is to use something that they enjoy as a focus, once they get going I try to make them expand their thoughts. I do this over and over until they learn how to dialogue. Maybe this approach may help your son.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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14-12-2012, 01:23 AM
RE: I hate autism
Thank you. He has classic autism. He is high functioning, he can get his own breakfast, he can use the microwave. He can't answer the phone tho...it's ok tho. I know I was totally focusing on the negative stuff. There are positives. This past summer we took a family vacation to Hawaii. He was fine -- dare I say he had fun? He didn't say much. Talking and conversing in a relative way is difficult for him. Anxiety and worry are issues for him. For years he refused to entertain the idea of going to Disneyland. Until he got there...smiles were totally genuine. He's been back two more times since. None of this happened until he was 10 and he began taking meds for anxiety. This year, we've been to three movies as a family! Two were within a month! When I think he's only seen 5 movies in a theater in his whole life! it blows my mind. We also saw a concert this year too. At first he was fixated on how many songs they'd play -- but got into it. He loved the lights and colors tho.

Foods are an issue -- his rules (like refusing to wear his warm coat until December 21, the first day of winter -- unless we get snow. He's incredibly healthy. Getting him to eat vegetables is a huge challenge. We limit his sweets. His routines are ritualistic and incredibly important -- but now with advance notice...he's ok with a change. Most words he speaks are a jumble stuff from cartoons. He'll ask his dad about how work was....but he can't ask follow up questions. He loves the idea of video games but can't play them and gets frustrated when the action moves too quickly.

He doesn't really seem to care much about people or their feelings. He gets embarrassed over really silly stuff. He's reading at a 3rd grade level. Math isnt much better, but he loves numbers.

He writes numbers over and over in colored pencils. He has toys but lines them up and walks around them.

When conversing -- he doesn't understand so much....it's frustrating to talk with him. It's like he starts in the middle of a thought. If you try to get him to repeat it, he gets upset and says nevermind. I'll be talking to his brother about something and he'll just start talking about something else....sometimes it's so unrelated...or he'll recite a commercial. All this ties into social exchanges with peers.

He has no interest in people. If he had his way, he'd just watch cartoons all day long. It's easier I guess for him...I am trying to teach him about money. We've been encouraging him to order his own food when we eat out..that way he has to speak up so the waiter can hear him.


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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14-12-2012, 01:41 AM
RE: I hate autism
Forgot to add...thanks for the advice, we have been doing that. Occasionally, we have had short conversations like 4 or 5 good, on topic exchanges without repeating or reciting something he's heard elsewhere.

If you have other suggestions please feel free to share them. :-).

Again, thanks.


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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14-12-2012, 10:08 PM
RE: I hate autism
Well for starters. Money is a massively abstract concept, I usually avoid it unless the youth enjoys trading things (money being the ultimate trading piece). So I would put this one off for a bit.

Does he talk to the toys at all when he lines them up? Are there any noticeble patterns?

I can relate to the numbers thing, I take a large amount of pleasure in writing the numbers 1-9 out over and over again. It's mainly mindless repetition giving something to focus on.

The main thing I wanted to tell you was about code. Most autistic
people develope a series of phrases that they enjoy saying. Learning these can be a gateway into conversation. One of the youth I work with greets me by saying "hit the ceiling" to which I reply "interference". This is just the start, but the general idea is that saying these things gives her pleasure and she actively seeks me out to do this. So maybe learning a few of his cartoon phrases and interacting with him through them may make him more interested in talking.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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14-12-2012, 11:55 PM
RE: I hate autism
(14-12-2012 10:08 PM)Xinoftruden Wrote:  Well for starters. Money is a massively abstract concept, I usually avoid it unless the youth enjoys trading things (money being the ultimate trading piece). So I would put this one off for a bit.

Does he talk to the toys at all when he lines them up? Are there any noticeble patterns?

I can relate to the numbers thing, I take a large amount of pleasure in writing the numbers 1-9 out over and over again. It's mainly mindless repetition giving something to focus on.

The main thing I wanted to tell you was about code. Most autistic
people develope a series of phrases that they enjoy saying. Learning these can be a gateway into conversation. One of the youth I work with greets me by saying "hit the ceiling" to which I reply "interference". This is just the start, but the general idea is that saying these things gives her pleasure and she actively seeks me out to do this. So maybe learning a few of his cartoon phrases and interacting with him through them may make him more interested in talking.

He doesn't really talk to them (his toys)...if that makes sense -- he "talks" around them. Like he's playing a scene but only he understands it. He doesn't "pretend" to be Luke Skywalker or Spongebob. But he kinda emulates them, he once broke three of my dishes dropping them into the sink just like Timmy Turner did on Fairly Oddparents. When the dishes broke, he felt terrible, and said that wasn't supposed to happen. I suppose in retrospect it was a good lesson for him. Often he'll ask questions about things he sees on tv. Like why did a character do something (usually its something silly) or like why is squidward so grumpy. I don't always have an answer so I'll remind him the show's writers decide that.

When he wants to talk, he seems to hover around...It's odd and not easy to explain, but if you see him, it's kinda obvious.

We gave him a light saber, he wanted one, but he never touches it -- just looks at it. The whole cartoon line as a gateway to a conversation is brilliant! I've never thought to do that. Thanks so much for the suggestion and for your thoughts about money -- it was useful also. Thank you sooo very much!
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15-12-2012, 12:02 AM
RE: I hate autism
no problem. Anytime you need some more just ask. (pm me or something)

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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15-12-2012, 09:12 PM
RE: I hate autism
There's a new study linking autism to the age of the father. Research is suggesting that the older the father is, the higher the chances are of the child being autistic. The studies are inconclusive as of now but it's an interesting notion. I happen to know a couple who have two autistic kids and the dad was over 35 when they were both conceived.
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15-12-2012, 10:45 PM
RE: I hate autism
My husband and I were both under 35 when our kids were conceived. I'm always kinda leery when studies like this come out, unless I can read the actual study.


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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