I hate autism
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17-12-2012, 06:29 PM
RE: I hate autism
For the record, I don't hate him or anything really about him (including his autism). Sometimes I do hate that he has to deal with it. That it leaves him open to bullying. That there are things he just doesn't "get" or understand -- like what a true friend is, I worry about his future -- and like all parents with "special needs children" it is lifelong concern that you dont ever get a break from. And really thats the point, because I see this solely from a parent's perspective -- from a mom that does love her son, and actually feels sad because she doesn't have a crystal ball to look into the future. This country isn't exactly kind to people with disorders of any kind -- if he cant take care of himself and we're not around what will become of him? Am I wrong to have those kinds of worries? Are my fears completely over-the-top? I don't think they are.

I've read things over the passed few days that just break my heart and have increased my concerns.

When a big media outlet reported the perpetrator of that tragedy in CT *might* be on spectrum my heart sank. The cruel remarks of people.....someone suggesting that they (ASD) should all be tattooed, so everyone would know they *could* be "dangerous".

I'm actually sorry I started this thread. I was having a super shitty high stress day (in the wake of the mall shooting) and I just needed to briefly scream.

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17-12-2012, 06:33 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 06:16 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 05:20 PM)Chas Wrote:  No, it isn't the same.
And it is a brain dysfunction, not a personality. It is a disorder that results in certain effects to personality.
I kind of like my 'brain dysfunction' thank you very much.

If anything, people with high functioning autism are more evolved.
I'm glad you like it, but 'more evolved'? Really?

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17-12-2012, 06:45 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 06:33 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 06:16 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  I kind of like my 'brain dysfunction' thank you very much.

If anything, people with high functioning autism are more evolved.
I'm glad you like it, but 'more evolved'? Really?
75% of violent crimes are committed by someone the victim knew- Since I often have little inclination to befriend people, that cuts my chances of being a victim of violence by a considerable amount. Most of the people I routinely interact with are people I do business with, I don't even speak to family.

So all in all, my mortality rate decreases significantly.
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17-12-2012, 06:52 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 03:33 PM)Chas Wrote:  Lumi, I owe you an apology. I blew up at you for something that is now quite understandable in context.

So, my apologies.
Thank you! Would you please tell me for what exactly? I don't mean to rub it in, no hard feelings (I exhausted my lifetime supply). But as I said, I can't easily find out what other people think about me. And it's like living for years without being able to look in a mirror. I'd like to do some proverbial grooming of personality, but I can't see myself clearly through the eyes of others and rarely anybody can and will put it into words.
I suppose this kind of feedback is what autistic people do at some therapy meetings. So I know my personality from the inside, but not from the outside, not how it seems to other people. (which would tell me also a lot about them!) Of course I've got some idea from the years of experience, but if you have anything specific to say, it's always welcome. One day this job of documenting my external self will be taken over by a girlfriend and maybe even by the mass media Cool

(17-12-2012 04:56 PM)Xinoftruden Wrote:  Jokes are always good. They laugh with you rather than at you.
Yep, I used them A LOT when I came to a new school as a kid, 2nd grade. It might have been one of the obsessive interests, reading and memorizing jokes, but a life saver too. Now I rather hold my tongue, because I get a lot of funny thoughts constantly arising in my mind over the day and some are very obscure and some inappropriate.
For example, one girl told me she reads The Art of Love by Ovidius.
I asked her to tell me when she gets to the practical exercise section Tongue

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Dude, it gets easier with practice (and age).

We are all different but if my experiences can give you hope, here are some of my coping mechanisms:
Being a little eccentric / non-typical can have advantages (stand out from the crowd in job interviews).
Yeah, that's a positive thing. I often get a lot of trust from people. They trust me with their secrets, because they know I have nobody to tell, I can listen and I can keep secrets (forget). Also, homeless dudes or just people who lost a wallet and need bus money have a knack for picking me out of the crowd and asking for a couple of bucks. Might as well base a political career on it. According to Plato, I'm a philosopher, an ideal candidate for a king, aware of a higher order of the world and not in love with power and money.

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Often hot chicks are attracted to intellectuals. Learn to fake being an intellectual.
Hey, I am an intellectual! The problem is, I'm not much more than that.

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Denial (can't speak highly enough about denial).
Learning not to give a shit. 'Detachment' has its downside too but overall, I like it this way.
The only problem here is, that doing this during puberty and high school is a sure way to get bullied a lot, plus lots of other conflicts even with non-bullying kids. It was hell and I'm terribly afraid of ever behaving that unaware again. Now I'm obsessed with increasing awareness and personal transformation, which again, has many benefits, but it's also destroying the old self-image and not yet having a new one. This might be just a phase, I might stabilize once I finish my studies (at least master's, for a beginning) and find a job.

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Many autists have become leaders in their specialist field.
That's right. If anything, we're specialized people. But I've had so many specialist fields! If obsessive interests were like love, I'd be a womanizer. Even flirted for years with the good old IT, had to break up when it seemed serious. I wasted years of life and heaps of money because I didn't know what my true calling was. Now I sort of know that, though I suspect this job does not exist yet, though it's very much needed in the society. I prepare for it by studying public administration (extremely boring) and then I'll enthusiastically get into sociology, which should finally be some fun. I can see people clearly only very close up, psychoanalyzing them, or from very far away, as sociologic groups.

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Hone your skills regarding first principles (body language, maths, etymology etc.) the "conscious logical effort" bit gets easier.
Get older. You can get away with a lot more when you are older.
Will do! How old is old enough? I'm 24 now. I'm looking forward to getting a small doctorate someday, then people will have to call me "Mr doctor".

(17-12-2012 04:37 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Fuck it! I'm wearing red and black nail polish today and no one cares. I've had positive comments from guys and gals and the worst reaction has been rolling eyes and a bit of head-shaking. Silly shit like that is now expected from me. Thumbsup
Either I missed the memo on latest fashion criminology, or you are a dude, not a gal Big Grin Man, I was surprised when guys (originally, mostly gypsies) started wearing these point-like earrings with a cut glass bead at the end. Looked to me like something from their grandma's jewel case. But we can't stop the development. I recommend you to read the original book Starship Troopers by Robert A. Henlein, he foretold this stuff years ago Thumbsup

(17-12-2012 05:20 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 05:16 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  Saying 'I hate that my son has autism' is the same as saying 'I hate my son' - It's a personality, not a tumour.
No, it isn't the same.
And it is a brain dysfunction, not a personality. It is a disorder that results in certain effects to personality.
Maybe it's not the same to the people around. It's not the same in medical reality.
But inside the kid's mind it is the same, the kid's not aware where where's the autism ends and where's his personality begins. Perhaps there is no real difference yet.
But these people often get attracted to stuff like spiritual therapies or Buddhist mindfulness practice. They raise the awareness and notice there's something wrong with them. Once they can put a finger on it, they can do something about it. But carefully. Getting rid of vices may seem like a way to salvation, specially if the realization of autism and vice-ridden ego is a big shock for the person. But vices (and virtues) are building blocks of the personality. Tearing them out may lead to personal breakdown or serious problems with depression and life motivation at least. It is necessary to emphasize the autist's strong points too, as all these nice people in the podcasts say.

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
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17-12-2012, 07:39 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 06:45 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 06:33 PM)Chas Wrote:  I'm glad you like it, but 'more evolved'? Really?
75% of violent crimes are committed by someone the victim knew- Since I often have little inclination to befriend people, that cuts my chances of being a victim of violence by a considerable amount. Most of the people I routinely interact with are people I do business with, I don't even speak to family.

So all in all, my mortality rate decreases significantly.
Or it makes you more likely to be targeted as you are isolated.

What has this to do with evolution?

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-12-2012, 07:49 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 06:29 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  For the record, I don't hate him or anything really about him (including his autism). Sometimes I do hate that he has to deal with it. That it leaves him open to bullying. That there are things he just doesn't "get" or understand -- like what a true friend is, I worry about his future -- and like all parents with "special needs children" it is lifelong concern that you dont ever get a break from. And really thats the point, because I see this solely from a parent's perspective -- from a mom that does love her son, and actually feels sad because she doesn't have a crystal ball to look into the future. This country isn't exactly kind to people with disorders of any kind -- if he cant take care of himself and we're not around what will become of him? Am I wrong to have those kinds of worries? Are my fears completely over-the-top? I don't think they are.

I've read things over the passed few days that just break my heart and have increased my concerns.

When a big media outlet reported the perpetrator of that tragedy in CT *might* be on spectrum my heart sank. The cruel remarks of people.....someone suggesting that they (ASD) should all be tattooed, so everyone would know they *could* be "dangerous".

I'm actually sorry I started this thread. I was having a super shitty high stress day (in the wake of the mall shooting) and I just needed to briefly scream.

Don't be sorry, we all need to scream, anyone with kids has had those moments. Obviously, this is a conversation that needs to be had.

For Aspies, it can seem insulting for the Neural Typicals to dislike autism, or tell them what we think they need. They have never and will never understand the connection that they are missing, but because they've never understood it, they don't feel it's loss.

It's hard for the Neural Typicals because we know what the Aspies are missing and feel for what they don't know they've lost.

It's all baby steps toward understanding.
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17-12-2012, 08:05 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 07:39 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 06:45 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  75% of violent crimes are committed by someone the victim knew- Since I often have little inclination to befriend people, that cuts my chances of being a victim of violence by a considerable amount. Most of the people I routinely interact with are people I do business with, I don't even speak to family.

So all in all, my mortality rate decreases significantly.
Or it makes you more likely to be targeted as you are isolated.

What has this to do with evolution?
That's why I became a business owner, so I can be in control of social situations rather than the other way around. My confidence makes me an unlikely target of aggression, I have no tolerance for evil/dangerous/unwise people.
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17-12-2012, 08:08 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 08:05 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 07:39 PM)Chas Wrote:  Or it makes you more likely to be targeted as you are isolated.

What has this to do with evolution?
That's why I became a business owner, so I can be in control of social situations rather than the other way around. My confidence makes me an unlikely target of crime, I have no tolerance for evil.
Neither your confidence nor your tolerance has any effect on whether you're a target.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-12-2012, 08:16 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 08:08 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 08:05 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  That's why I became a business owner, so I can be in control of social situations rather than the other way around. My confidence makes me an unlikely target of crime, I have no tolerance for evil.
Neither your confidence nor your tolerance has any effect on whether you're a target.
No, sociopaths look for those that are vulnerable and easy to exploit/fool/manipulate/abuse, etc. There's reason why aggressive men hover towards vulnerable flimsy women. What was your experience of bullying as a child?
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17-12-2012, 08:25 PM
RE: I hate autism
(17-12-2012 08:16 PM)FZUMedia Wrote:  
(17-12-2012 08:08 PM)Chas Wrote:  Neither your confidence nor your tolerance has any effect on whether you're a target.
No, sociopaths look for those that are vulnerable and easy to exploit/fool/manipulate/abuse, etc. There's reason why aggressive men hover towards vulnerable flimsy women. What was your experience of bullying as a child?
You are one strange dude.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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