I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
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26-04-2016, 07:06 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
(25-04-2016 06:27 PM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I'm not trying to take the piss out of that other guy, I was just reading what he said and I felt like I could really related. When I take a stance on an issue, I often feel like the stance I'm taking is smart because the people who I heard it from I agree with. When it comes to actually trying to back myself up in an argument, I find that it's very difficult to defend what I'm saying, because people often come at you from totally different angles you've never heard from. So there's really no way to defend yourself from that sort of thing.

I don't know if it's a testament of my own inability to think, or lack of motivation to be so knowledgeable on a subject that I could school someone in a debate. I think it's mostly the later, but it's true that I often leave an argument feeling like I really don't know much about what I'm talking about, when it comes to politics. Hell, I said that America's prisons raise and lower their government income based on how many prisoners they have, so prisons have incentive to incarcerate more people, yet someone tells me that's a load of bullshit! It's just what I've heard, how can that be bullshit? I've heard it so many times, but I guess that's what happens when you have other people tell you information. There's really no way to be independently knowledgeable, you'd have to have some sort of unattainable psychic esq knowledge so you know where to look and relevant information.

I just don't feel like a very smart person in general, that's another thing that reading that poor guy's post made me think of. I definitely don't want to kill myself because of it, but I did do horrible in school and find math to be so agonizingly boring, I can hardly even do basic math problems like dividing, let alone algebra. It sucks, I actually feel so jealous of people who are smart and good at math I want to beat them up, like some mongoloid school yard bully who picks on people because of his insecurities.

I mean, I know that one of the worst things you can do is hold your self up to someone else and compare, but it's kind of hard not to. I really do feel uneducated, unintelligent, I often feel like that's one thing I wish I had more of, intelligence.

I'm sorry to just go on and on and on about this, but I'm just going to take up as much space as I feel is enough to get my thoughts out. I'm disadvantaged in this world. Because artistically I know I have talent, I know that one of my biggest strengths is spacial visual thinking, I am great at anything that involves creativity and artistic talent. I've always excelled at that. The thing is, I don't want to go into an art field. That whole field has low job security, it requires you to work for someone else and do artwork that is commissioned of you, or it requires you to work independently and have no job security at all. It's haunting to me, to think that my biggest strength is worthless.

I'm creative in so many aspects, I wouldn't trade my love of art and music and ability for the ability to do many or be a really excellent debater, but man I just wish I had something that put me ahead in life. It's too difficult, and you wanna know the worst part of it all? I have no motivation to do art anymore. I don't even like drawing anymore and I have hardly any motivation to do really anything in life, because I feel every single day, a deep sucking nihilism inside of me, which just tells me that everything's pointless. It's been there for years and years and years, probably since early high school. It sucks. It's just insulting to me that in my mind I can picture myself being happy, but it seems unfeasible to attain it.

There's always something in the world to envy. There's always gonna be someone smarter than you, better looking than you, with a nicer car than you, more money than you etc..

Nor do I think being more intelligent, or being a better debater correlates with being any happier than those that aren't. If anything debating can be stressful, annoying, and drive you to be misanthropic, and generally doesn't bring out the best qualities in us, lol.

Perhaps if you were more intelligent, you'd wish you were more artistic, etc... And as far as finding a decent job, you don't have to be the brightest bulb for that. There's plenty of smart people who work as cashiers at Best Buy, and plenty of stupid people with college degrees, and good jobs, like me.

If the thing you seeks are what you see as a means to be happy, than you're perhaps looking in the wrong place. Most of the research seems to suggests that happiness, has less to do with money, intelligence, etc... than it does with relationships, and kindness. Having a good relationships with your family, and friends, being kind to one another, contribute more to being happier in the long run, than any other factors.

"Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman." ---Homer the aged poet.

"In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
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26-04-2016, 07:24 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
Math and emotionally scaring bullies who mistook new for a stereotypical nerd were about the only things I enjoyed in school Tongue

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26-04-2016, 08:28 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
(26-04-2016 06:19 AM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  
(26-04-2016 06:05 AM)julep Wrote:  If you know you're ignorant, you are already ahead of a lot of people (Dunning-Kruger types).

It's good that you're trying to improve your skills outside of the areas you find easier (like art). Maybe the problem is your expectations about the amount of time and effort required to master new skills? One thing I notice in my adult students as opposed to my child students (I teach music) is that while kids and adults progress at similar rates, the adults often get more frustrated with their rates of progress and feel that they should be picking up the skill faster.

I do think you might benefit from some counseling, since it sounds as though your anxiety and anhedonia are getting in the way of moving forward.
I've been seeing a psychologist a couple times a week for the past year and a half. And yeah I have been telling myself for a while now that I want to try to learn math on my own. I took an IQ test and they told me that I have a learning disability when it comes to math, that really pissed me off because I don't know how they came to that conclusion, I've always found math boring. I think they gave me a bunch of math problems to do and I couldn't really even get that far in any of the problems they gave me. Hello! I haven't done a math problem in years, my last math class was 11th grade.

It's fucking stupid that they'd tell me I have a learning disability in math, they tested my math IQ really low. Fuck them. I think IQ is a really stupid measure of intelligence, just sort of solidifies my view that in order to be "smart" you just have to be better than everyone else at doing the exact same fucking thing. You just have to do it faster and not mess up. What a perfectly business man, capitalist minded mentality. A perfect mentality for our wonderful country, wouldn't you agree? I wouldn't.

I too am a musician, I play guitar and muddle around with my bass, drum set, and piano. I don't really have the technical knowledge of how to play those instruments besides the guitar.

Learning disabilities don't have anything to do with intelligence. If you have a learning disability in math, understanding the disability and the ways to work around it will help with what math you may need to learn. It's great that you're interested in learning math on your own, that sounds like a fun project.
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26-04-2016, 08:36 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
I've got all sorts of ADHD. Then again, who doesn't these days? But perception matters. What they call an inability to pay attention to things I find uninteresting, I think of as an ability to focus like a laser on things I do find interesting.

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26-04-2016, 10:29 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
(25-04-2016 06:27 PM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I just don't feel like a very smart person in general, that's another thing that reading that poor guy's post made me think of. I definitely don't want to kill myself because of it, but I did do horrible in school and find math to be so agonizingly boring, I can hardly even do basic math problems like dividing, let alone algebra. It sucks, I actually feel so jealous of people who are smart and good at math I want to beat them up, like some mongoloid school yard bully who picks on people because of his insecurities.

Oh Math. You know, I almost failed that shit, I'm terrible at it. But I know a lot of math handy people who doesn't understand jack shit of this kind of math, yet I do:




(25-04-2016 06:27 PM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I mean, I know that one of the worst things you can do is hold your self up to someone else and compare, but it's kind of hard not to. I really do feel uneducated, unintelligent, I often feel like that's one thing I wish I had more of, intelligence.

If you feel like you have to compare yourself to someone; if that someone is a nice person, try to learn or get taught from that guy/gal. I knew for example that Banjo is a far superior drummer compared to me, so I asked him for help around pretty much anything drumming.





(25-04-2016 06:27 PM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I'm creative in so many aspects, I wouldn't trade my love of art and music and ability for the ability to do many or be a really excellent debater, but man I just wish I had something that put me ahead in life. It's too difficult, and you wanna know the worst part of it all? I have no motivation to do art anymore. I don't even like drawing anymore and I have hardly any motivation to do really anything in life, because I feel every single day, a deep sucking nihilism inside of me, which just tells me that everything's pointless. It's been there for years and years and years, probably since early high school. It sucks. It's just insulting to me that in my mind I can picture myself being happy, but it seems unfeasible to attain it.

If you are a musician or an artist, practice a just a little every day. Start with something very small like 4-5 minutes of your choosing. You can fool that feeling of hopelessness in your brain by just saying "It's just 5 minutes". If that's too much, start even lower, maybe just a minute of focused training. If you can get this kind of practice to become a routine, you can very slowly increase the amount of time you spend and not feel the difference. With practice comes control, and with control you can perform something like this:




And with that comes confidence. And hopefully some cash if you make a name for yourself.

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26-04-2016, 10:43 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
(26-04-2016 06:45 AM)Fatbaldhobbit Wrote:  
(26-04-2016 06:19 AM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I took an IQ test and they told me that I have a learning disability when it comes to math, that really pissed me off because I don't know how they came to that conclusion, I've always found math boring. I think they gave me a bunch of math problems to do and I couldn't really even get that far in any of the problems they gave me. Hello! I haven't done a math problem in years, my last math class was 11th grade.
Why does that make you angry? I don't understand. Learning disabilities are well understood (although not perfectly) and there are work-arounds and techniques that can help cope with them.

(26-04-2016 06:19 AM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  It's fucking stupid that they'd tell me I have a learning disability in math, they tested my math IQ really low. Fuck them. I think IQ is a really stupid measure of intelligence, just sort of solidifies my view that in order to be "smart" you just have to be better than everyone else at doing the exact same fucking thing. You just have to do it faster and not mess up. What a perfectly business man, capitalist minded mentality. A perfect mentality for our wonderful country, wouldn't you agree? I wouldn't.

You are blending the concepts of intelligence and competence. IQ tests are not perfect, but they have improved in the last few decades. If you are aware of their limitations and flaws, the tests can be useful.

What you describe is not exactly a capitalist mentality.

If you perform your job tasks with greater competence, speed and accuracy than your co-workers, then this will allow you better opportunities, better pay, etc. That applies to capitalism, but it applies to many other areas as well.

It also applies to you.

You haven't described any problems that would prevent you from being successful.

You have described psychological issues and problems with math.
These are indeed challenges and they should not be minimized.
However they are challenges that can be overcome.

You mentioned seeing a psychologist. Ask them what resources are available in your area. There are often learning support services, counseling services and career counselors. (I'm assuming you are in the US, if not, this may not apply).

Do something today to advance your goals, even if it is small.
Write a plan, draw something, call someone to ask about resources.
It upsets me because I had an unfair disadvantage for the math portion of the test. They say I had a low math iq, I have no idea if it was some test that came subsequently to the actual math problems they made me do. They did give me a ton of math problems and told me to solve them and I hadn't brushed up on my math in years. So then they tell me I have a really low iq in math, I couldn't imagine what other part of the test measured my math ability besides just telling me to do some math problems. That's like telling a foreigner to do an English test and not have it be taken in their native language. That doesn't prove a math deficit.

I did talk with my psychologist about resources yesterday. We talked about how me taking blues guitar lessons is a step in the right direction. I don't think she's ever talked to me about hooking me up with any resources. I do think that finding a job counselling service would be a good idea. I remember one of those being offered to me after I finished high school but I really didn't have any interest in that at the time. I should talk with my parents about that, because my parents being the business people they are, with any luck they'd be able to help me find the people the school put me in contact with years ago.

Yes, I realized that saying that about capitalism may come off as naive, but whatever. I really don't understand economics very well, I couldn't tell you which one is best, but I have a sympathy towards socialism and more marxist type systems because basically I've seen that associated with things I like and people who I agree with. I do sometimes say grossly generalized stuff, but yeah I do generally have a negative view of society and we are a primarily capitalist society and I do feel like I've been undercut and disadvantaged and I hate competition, because I don't have a competitive nature. Hope that explains why I said that.
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26-04-2016, 10:49 AM
RE: I have a bit of a problem feeling like a dumbass too
(26-04-2016 07:06 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(25-04-2016 06:27 PM)Mittens Deluxe Wrote:  I'm not trying to take the piss out of that other guy, I was just reading what he said and I felt like I could really related. When I take a stance on an issue, I often feel like the stance I'm taking is smart because the people who I heard it from I agree with. When it comes to actually trying to back myself up in an argument, I find that it's very difficult to defend what I'm saying, because people often come at you from totally different angles you've never heard from. So there's really no way to defend yourself from that sort of thing.

I don't know if it's a testament of my own inability to think, or lack of motivation to be so knowledgeable on a subject that I could school someone in a debate. I think it's mostly the later, but it's true that I often leave an argument feeling like I really don't know much about what I'm talking about, when it comes to politics. Hell, I said that America's prisons raise and lower their government income based on how many prisoners they have, so prisons have incentive to incarcerate more people, yet someone tells me that's a load of bullshit! It's just what I've heard, how can that be bullshit? I've heard it so many times, but I guess that's what happens when you have other people tell you information. There's really no way to be independently knowledgeable, you'd have to have some sort of unattainable psychic esq knowledge so you know where to look and relevant information.

I just don't feel like a very smart person in general, that's another thing that reading that poor guy's post made me think of. I definitely don't want to kill myself because of it, but I did do horrible in school and find math to be so agonizingly boring, I can hardly even do basic math problems like dividing, let alone algebra. It sucks, I actually feel so jealous of people who are smart and good at math I want to beat them up, like some mongoloid school yard bully who picks on people because of his insecurities.

I mean, I know that one of the worst things you can do is hold your self up to someone else and compare, but it's kind of hard not to. I really do feel uneducated, unintelligent, I often feel like that's one thing I wish I had more of, intelligence.

I'm sorry to just go on and on and on about this, but I'm just going to take up as much space as I feel is enough to get my thoughts out. I'm disadvantaged in this world. Because artistically I know I have talent, I know that one of my biggest strengths is spacial visual thinking, I am great at anything that involves creativity and artistic talent. I've always excelled at that. The thing is, I don't want to go into an art field. That whole field has low job security, it requires you to work for someone else and do artwork that is commissioned of you, or it requires you to work independently and have no job security at all. It's haunting to me, to think that my biggest strength is worthless.

I'm creative in so many aspects, I wouldn't trade my love of art and music and ability for the ability to do many or be a really excellent debater, but man I just wish I had something that put me ahead in life. It's too difficult, and you wanna know the worst part of it all? I have no motivation to do art anymore. I don't even like drawing anymore and I have hardly any motivation to do really anything in life, because I feel every single day, a deep sucking nihilism inside of me, which just tells me that everything's pointless. It's been there for years and years and years, probably since early high school. It sucks. It's just insulting to me that in my mind I can picture myself being happy, but it seems unfeasible to attain it.

There's always something in the world to envy. There's always gonna be someone smarter than you, better looking than you, with a nicer car than you, more money than you etc..

Nor do I think being more intelligent, or being a better debater correlates with being any happier than those that aren't. If anything debating can be stressful, annoying, and drive you to be misanthropic, and generally doesn't bring out the best qualities in us, lol.

Perhaps if you were more intelligent, you'd wish you were more artistic, etc... And as far as finding a decent job, you don't have to be the brightest bulb for that. There's plenty of smart people who work as cashiers at Best Buy, and plenty of stupid people with college degrees, and good jobs, like me.

If the thing you seeks are what you see as a means to be happy, than you're perhaps looking in the wrong place. Most of the research seems to suggests that happiness, has less to do with money, intelligence, etc... than it does with relationships, and kindness. Having a good relationships with your family, and friends, being kind to one another, contribute more to being happier in the long run, than any other factors.
Well for one, I don't find the amount of money or cars that a person has to be any indication of intelligence or a point of envy for me. I don't really have any friends, although I do have a nice bond with my family. You're right that being good at debating isn't really something to strive for. It does bring out the misanthropic side of me sometimes, although it makes me question what I know about the world, which often leaves me feeling like I know so little.

I will admit, I do wonder what the difference between someone who can have a college degree and a nice job is between someone who works at best buy as you said. I wonder what makes their brains different, the people who are able to do school work easily and not get hung up on how boring it is. They just do the work and they do it efficiently and they're intelligent enough to get good grades on it. That to me seems like mental slavery and I've always loathed school work from the bottom of my heart. Yet, I always envied the people in the advanced classes, it almost seems like their advantage in the school system is patronizing to me. Because here I am, someone who has their own qualities which aren't being acknowledged, better yet they'll tell you to stop drawing during class. They'll tell you that if you don't pay attention we'll drug your brain with amphetamine type drugs, simply because you're not willing to be a pathetic drone.
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