I have accepted my faults
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23-03-2014, 08:47 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 08:39 AM)Anjele Wrote:  There are several of us that are being supportive and offering advice yet you seem to be close-minded to anything that is said. I am at a loss for what we can do to help. It's sad that someone so young has seemingly given up and accepted a negative view of himself. I am sorry that you don't see a chance for better things.

I was going for something called negative elevation, In which you embrace failure and when you move you can only go up. Sorry if I was being an assConfused

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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23-03-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 08:47 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  
(23-03-2014 08:39 AM)Anjele Wrote:  There are several of us that are being supportive and offering advice yet you seem to be close-minded to anything that is said. I am at a loss for what we can do to help. It's sad that someone so young has seemingly given up and accepted a negative view of himself. I am sorry that you don't see a chance for better things.

I was going for something called negative elevation, In which you embrace failure and when you move you can only go up. Sorry if I was being an assConfused

I don't think you were being an ass. We were trying to help, maybe there is some element to this issue that we are missing.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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23-03-2014, 09:01 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 08:49 AM)Anjele Wrote:  
(23-03-2014 08:47 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  I was going for something called negative elevation, In which you embrace failure and when you move you can only go up. Sorry if I was being an assConfused

I don't think you were being an ass. We were trying to help, maybe there is some element to this issue that we are missing.



I don't know HOW I missed this thread but I am sorry I missed it till now....

Hug

You should feel valued and appreciated. And if you do not I am sorry you don't. I certainly value your friendship here and have so enjoyed getting to know you better. Please give life some time. Things can suddenly change when we least expect it.
If you're not seeing the beauty in yourself and your own worth then you're looking superficially.

((( more hugs )))HeartHeart

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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23-03-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
I've been sitting back and more or less just observing this thread for a while, but now feel like I should throw my opinion in there.

For one, if you go around saying all the negative things you're saying in here to us, that can be very unattractive. People will try and bolster you for a while, but eventually it can be exhausting propping someone up over and over again. There was a girl I went to school with who was like that - she wasn't the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen or anything, but she was certainly not ugly, and yet the more negatives she directed toward herself while we all listened, the less attractive she became. Personality has LOADS to do with attraction. Someone who at first seems to be a knockout can quickly become "ugly" due to their personality. Same goes for the reverse. Someone you may at first think is just okay can become more. They can become more and more attractive to you, the more you get to know them.

The problem is that that takes times. And teenagers are not known for patience. It could be that if a girl spent enough time with you, she'd grow to like you. I don't know what you look like, and even if you showed us a picture and we all told you you were just fine, I doubt you would believe us. I know I never believed the folks in my life (adults, usually) who told me I was pretty back when I was still in school, and it was because I didn't fit in at school, didn't have a boyfriend. I thought, if I was pretty, I'd have a boyfriend. So I automatically felt like the adults in my life were lying.

If you are anything like I was, then life after high school is much, much better. The stupid cliquish behavior and needless bullying tend to go away. Once you are in the world of adults, age matters so much less. You go to a job, and everyone is just an adult. Sure, there are still groups who tend to hang out with each other more than others, but it is certainly not on the level of high school.

And for me, while the guys I went to school with had pretty much zero interest in me, guys from other schools thought I was cute and that the guys from my high school must've been complete dumbasses not to think so, too. So sometimes it could just be your environment.

I apologize as I am rambling. But I would suggest, if I may, that instead of quickly coming up with a retort to every encouragement that folks here are giving you, instead of dismissing it out of hand, stop and just take them in for a moment.

And as far as having friends online, I have to agree with many of the sentiments here - there are people here I feel much closer to than folks who are in my life, here where I live. And with the irl thing - all of these people on this forum are in real life. They're just hanging out with you via a different medium. They aren't just words on a screen. And they aren't any less valuable than a friend that you could reach out and touch. To me, the internet just makes it easier to make friends, because you can come to sites like this and immediately have something in common with them.

Fuck, rambling again. But in your sadness and negativity, I get a glimpse of the teenage girl that I was so very many years ago, and so I can relate to so much of what you say. Hang in there, and in the meantime, read all that you can about the things that interest you (and don't worry about what anyone else thinks is cool to be into - I guarantee you that no matter how odd you think some of your interests might be, there is someone else out there who shares them), develop yourself as a person. In short, develop an interesting personality.

And on a parting note... you know how Rev said he thought I was way out of his league? Well, I thought the same thing about him. He's an intelligent, funny, and very interesting man. I thought for sure he would have a girlfriend. But you know what? When I realized I was starting to have feelings for him - more than just the friendly kind - I plucked up the courage and told him. He could have rejected me, and that would've hurt very much, but I realized that if I didn't tell him how I felt, I'd regret it for many years to come. It worked out for us, yes - it doesn't always work like that, as unfortunately it seems to me that much of the time, either you like someone and they don't like you back, or someone likes you a lot and you don't care all that much for them, romantically. But if you never try, if you never pluck up the courage to face possible rejection, you will never know.

Hug

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23-03-2014, 09:48 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 09:04 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I've been sitting back and more or less just observing this thread for a while, but now feel like I should throw my opinion in there.

For one, if you go around saying all the negative things you're saying in here to us, that can be very unattractive. People will try and bolster you for a while, but eventually it can be exhausting propping someone up over and over again. There was a girl I went to school with who was like that - she wasn't the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen or anything, but she was certainly not ugly, and yet the more negatives she directed toward herself while we all listened, the less attractive she became. Personality has LOADS to do with attraction. Someone who at first seems to be a knockout can quickly become "ugly" due to their personality. Same goes for the reverse. Someone you may at first think is just okay can become more. They can become more and more attractive to you, the more you get to know them.

The problem is that that takes times. And teenagers are not known for patience. It could be that if a girl spent enough time with you, she'd grow to like you. I don't know what you look like, and even if you showed us a picture and we all told you you were just fine, I doubt you would believe us. I know I never believed the folks in my life (adults, usually) who told me I was pretty back when I was still in school, and it was because I didn't fit in at school, didn't have a boyfriend. I thought, if I was pretty, I'd have a boyfriend. So I automatically felt like the adults in my life were lying.

If you are anything like I was, then life after high school is much, much better. The stupid cliquish behavior and needless bullying tend to go away. Once you are in the world of adults, age matters so much less. You go to a job, and everyone is just an adult. Sure, there are still groups who tend to hang out with each other more than others, but it is certainly not on the level of high school.

And for me, while the guys I went to school with had pretty much zero interest in me, guys from other schools thought I was cute and that the guys from my high school must've been complete dumbasses not to think so, too. So sometimes it could just be your environment.

I apologize as I am rambling. But I would suggest, if I may, that instead of quickly coming up with a retort to every encouragement that folks here are giving you, instead of dismissing it out of hand, stop and just take them in for a moment.

And as far as having friends online, I have to agree with many of the sentiments here - there are people here I feel much closer to than folks who are in my life, here where I live. And with the irl thing - all of these people on this forum are in real life. They're just hanging out with you via a different medium. They aren't just words on a screen. And they aren't any less valuable than a friend that you could reach out and touch. To me, the internet just makes it easier to make friends, because you can come to sites like this and immediately have something in common with them.

Fuck, rambling again. But in your sadness and negativity, I get a glimpse of the teenage girl that I was so very many years ago, and so I can relate to so much of what you say. Hang in there, and in the meantime, read all that you can about the things that interest you (and don't worry about what anyone else thinks is cool to be into - I guarantee you that no matter how odd you think some of your interests might be, there is someone else out there who shares them), develop yourself as a person. In short, develop an interesting personality.

And on a parting note... you know how Rev said he thought I was way out of his league? Well, I thought the same thing about him. He's an intelligent, funny, and very interesting man. I thought for sure he would have a girlfriend. But you know what? When I realized I was starting to have feelings for him - more than just the friendly kind - I plucked up the courage and told him. He could have rejected me, and that would've hurt very much, but I realized that if I didn't tell him how I felt, I'd regret it for many years to come. It worked out for us, yes - it doesn't always work like that, as unfortunately it seems to me that much of the time, either you like someone and they don't like you back, or someone likes you a lot and you don't care all that much for them, romantically. But if you never try, if you never pluck up the courage to face possible rejection, you will never know.

Hug

Blink Okay I think you just won. Nice to meet you by the way Esc artist. I am both a half glass empty and full kind of guy depending on the situation. For me I just can't see it. I should thank you for careing even though we have never spoke sista.Bowing I can't say anything for college life. Again one mans experience does not determine anothers. As I said I must wait and see, unfortunately I am glass half empty on this one.

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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23-03-2014, 10:41 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
Makes a thread about accepting his faults.... All he does is fucking complain about his faults.



Self-deprecation is your worst quality, dude. Nobody wants to love a man who doesn't even like himself.


Bad quality, but here, I'm grounding my reference.



Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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23-03-2014, 10:49 AM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 10:41 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  Makes a thread about accepting his faults.... All he does is fucking complain about his faults.



Self-deprecation is your worst quality, dude. Nobody wants to love a man who doesn't even like himself.


Bad quality, but here, I'm grounding my reference.



I have to be self-deprecation, it tells me what i should do to get better instead of dying easily.

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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23-03-2014, 12:41 PM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 10:49 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  I have to be self-deprecation, it tells me what i should do to get better instead of dying easily.

Self-deprecation only works when it's funny. And you're not being funny.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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23-03-2014, 12:44 PM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 12:41 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(23-03-2014 10:49 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  I have to be self-deprecation, it tells me what i should do to get better instead of dying easily.

Self-deprecation only works when it's funny. And you're not being funny.

Well embracing success will not help me at all. I need to embrace failure and then try to make it better.

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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23-03-2014, 01:24 PM
RE: I have accepted my faults
(23-03-2014 12:44 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Well embracing success will not help me at all. I need to embrace failure and then try to make it better.

You need to embrace life, not failure. You haven't failed at anything, dude. You haven't even been given the opportunity to fail yet. Nor have you had the opportunity to succeed. You are in the youth of your life, and your experience so far tells you that there is no hope, but I'm telling you that you just don't have the experience yet.

You're a good soul. You're a smart shit, and you have a good sense of humor. I can't vouch for your looks, but I can vouch for the fact that ugly people have had great sex and awesome relationships every second of every day for the entire history of the existence of sex and relationships.

I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're going to be okay. Just keep on keepin' on and keep your head up and your senses sharp. Be a gentleman first and a badass sparingly. You're gonna find out that if you take care of what you need to, the rest comes along naturally. Having said that, you also need to realize that "what you need to" take care of right now is gonna be different as you go along, so don't put so much importance in everything that you find lacking in your life right at the moment. Things evolve in life. You don't get all of your best traits at the beginning, you develop them. And you do that by examining your environment and selecting the best qualities for the life that you'd like to have, and adapting accordingly. By doing this you will ensure your greater likelihood for relationships and eventually reproduction.

But this takes time, and effort. I think the biggest effort that you will have to make is simply realizing that you already possess most of the traits necessary for your survival and flourishing, you just have to recognize and take advantage of what they are, instead of constantly concentrating on what you perceive to be negative about yourself.

You have to look at where you want to go if you want to walk in the right direction. If you constantly look back at where you've been you're going to keep running into obstacles.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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