I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
09-06-2017, 08:07 AM
I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
Ok, i have to confess....

last month the couple below me (im living 1st floor) moved out and on June 1st the new neighbour moved in.

A black, american dude. Cant get mo´back, and cant get mo´ ´murican. Laugh out load

I just came home from work, started to water my plants, and this guy is sitting outside (again, like most of the time), having a phone call. Looks like he was talking to someone about paperwork hes gonna get done here, something like he has to pay a fee in advance.

"Yeah, baby, im not layin´ on the couch, im sittin´ outside and having a smoke..........Fuck Donald Trump, fuck America, but those Germans....." Laugh out load Laugh out load Laugh out load
Hes like a real bro, talking like hes straight from da hood. So, you may imagine that after he said this, bro-style, i had to run inside because i couldnt hold back my laughter.

This is gonna be fun. Cool

Ceterum censeo, religionem delendam esse
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Deesse23's post
09-06-2017, 08:16 AM
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
I was sitting in a restaurant bar one time, sampling the local brews and chatting with the regulars. Close by was a table with a family of five. The kids started giggling every time I said something. I looked at their mother and she just said "Timmy." Timmy, the oldest stood up and said "Why are you pretending to speak like the telly?" They'd never heard a live American before, the family was in Perth for a wedding and normally spent their time in the outback.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Gawdzilla's post
09-06-2017, 08:33 AM
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
(09-06-2017 08:07 AM)Deesse23 Wrote:  Ok, i have to confess....

last month the couple below me (im living 1st floor) moved out and on June 1st the new neighbour moved in.

A black, american dude. Cant get mo´back, and cant get mo´ ´murican. Laugh out load

I just came home from work, started to water my plants, and this guy is sitting outside (again, like most of the time), having a phone call. Looks like he was talking to someone about paperwork hes gonna get done here, something like he has to pay a fee in advance.

"Yeah, baby, im not layin´ on the couch, im sittin´ outside and having a smoke..........Fuck Donald Trump, fuck America, but those Germans....." Laugh out load Laugh out load Laugh out load
Hes like a real bro, talking like hes straight from da hood. So, you may imagine that after he said this, bro-style, i had to run inside because i couldnt hold back my laughter.

This is gonna be fun. Cool
I dont know about you, but that sounds awesome. Please become friends with him Smile

Generally, I love Americans. A good friend of mine, who is originally from Florida, used to live over here. He used to make me laugh so much, but most of the time unintentionally due to his american-ness. Being a moody Brit, I found his attitude up-lifting at times and his positivity was infectious. Sadly he moved back there a few years ago, although we keep in touch on social media. Plus I promised him I'd visit at some point haha.

As a teen I visited Memphis and had a whale of a time also. I can't say enough good things about them. I know it's a fucked up place, and I probably would go insane living anywhere near the bible belt, but my ultimate dream is to live in the states one day, it'd be AMAZING lol.

"I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner" - Rick
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like OakTree500's post
09-06-2017, 10:50 AM (This post was last modified: 09-06-2017 11:15 AM by Rockblossom.)
RE: American neighbour
Laugh out load at this thread.

I lived in Germany 1976-79 and 1983-86 assigned to various units of USAEUR. Nürnberg/Fürth , Stuttgart, Pirmasens, and Heidelberg. I got into a lot of conversations about cultural stereotypes and expectations, and have lots of funny stories. (I also have lots on the differences between British and American cultures - including the oft-stated British joke that "American" and "culture" don't belong in the same sentence.)

I first noticed that it was easy to tell the difference between Americans and Germans waiting for something - a bus, the theater to open, whatever, because Germans mill around (with a polite degree of personal space left open) then rush the door when it opens. Americans organize themselves into a line, which may be somewhat stretched out, but tends to bunch up as more people arrive and compress the "personal space" to almost nothing. Americans are fanatical about making newcomers go to the back of the line/queue, and get hostile if anyone tries to cut in line. Except, of course, when there's some acceptable excuse for cutting in line. The list of acceptable excuses seems to be known only to other Americans, and is largely incomprehensible to anyone else. One of my German coworkers in Fürth was really baffled by that. He would wave his arms around and ask anyone in hearing range: "But WHY do you get in a line? Who makes you? Who is in charge? " Shocking And none of us had an answer, other than: " Um, I dunno. We just do." Big Grin So ask your new neighbor how Americans decide to get in lines, and see if he has an answer. Smartass
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Rockblossom's post
09-06-2017, 11:29 AM
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
At work I'm told I'm entertaining. I imagine only part of that is related to my 'Murican-ness, because it was the same way back in 'Murica.

'Murican Canadian
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2017, 11:44 AM (This post was last modified: 09-06-2017 11:50 AM by ShadowProject.)
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
Every time I travelled internationally, I made it a point to sound 'wicked smaht' because we're not all stupid, godammit. lol

Enjoy your new neighbor Smile I hope he's one of the good 'muricans.

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2017, 12:07 PM
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
(09-06-2017 08:16 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  I was sitting in a restaurant bar one time, sampling the local brews and chatting with the regulars. Close by was a table with a family of five. The kids started giggling every time I said something. I looked at their mother and she just said "Timmy." Timmy, the oldest stood up and said "Why are you pretending to speak like the telly?" They'd never heard a live American before, the family was in Perth for a wedding and normally spent their time in the outback.

I can explain this, Timmy is a South Park character a disabled kid in a motorized wheel chair who suffers from either muscular dystrophy or cerebral palsy this is the cause of your young persons amusement.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2017, 12:33 PM
RE: I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
(09-06-2017 10:50 AM)Rockblossom Wrote:  So ask your new neighbor how Americans decide to get in lines, and see if he has an answer.

The assumption of "first come, first served."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2017, 01:04 PM (This post was last modified: 09-06-2017 01:10 PM by Rockblossom.)
RE: American neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
(09-06-2017 12:33 PM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(09-06-2017 10:50 AM)Rockblossom Wrote:  So ask your new neighbor how Americans decide to get in lines, and see if he has an answer.

The assumption of "first come, first served."

I thought it through, and realized that it my case, it was early childhood brainwashing training in elementary school. We lined up to go to lunch, to the playground, to the music room, to the bus stop, to the bathroom, f'r crimminey's sake! Unsure And when we had learned the alphabet and some math, we were required to line ourselves up - in alphabetical order, by date of birth, reverse alphabetical order, by whatever order the teacher in charged deemed appropriate. And when we went to a snack bar or an ice cream cart, someone was sure to say: "Now, children, listen up! No one gets served until you form a line!" So, by the time we were old enough to ask why we were forming lines, it was too late to break the conditioning habit.

Edited to add: A few months ago I was pulling out old storage boxes and ran across some of my elementary school report cards. Generally good grades, except for the quaintly titled "Citizenship" grades, which were often a bit below "Satisfactory" in nature. Angel One teacher noted in comments: "Does not like to follow the rules." You might think I was an unruly kid. I prefer to think that my teachers were less than satisfactory at teaching the rules. Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Rockblossom's post
21-06-2017, 03:19 AM
I have an american neighbour and need help, wut this isnt the personal issues section
Had a few chats with the bloke. Informations i gathered are as follows:

Gender: male
Race: black (the "carribean" kinda facial bone structure, not the "african" kind, know what i mean? Thin lips, rather thin nose, overall thin face, not round. Has beads too. Looks like from Jamaica or so)
Age: 55
Occupation: retired army sergant (thats probably why he is sitting in the garden smoking all the time Rolleyes )
Origin: Virginia (quote: "I have a house in virgina, wtf am i doing here in Germany for the past 28 years?". Well, if he doesnt know.... Tongue )

Is certainly a believer. Heared him on the phone (sitting in the garden. He has one of those "golden voices" that are so distinct, that you can clearly hear him even if oyu dont intnetionally listen) talking to a friend, in english, how dog created earth and bla bla bla. Hasnt been proselytizing.... yet. I dont hink he ever will.

Otherwise a nice, but somewhat stange fellow. Is accustomed to german habits (which i expect after 28y) but likes to talk overly much (on the phone too), but that may be part of the generic trait of americans. They are (stereotype!) rather easy and eager to communicate, unlike Germans who are more minding their own business first, before they engage with you at a later date.

But now please let me ask all of you to join me in a moment of silence and prayer for this poor fellow: he has 5 daughters. Ohmy Shocking Laugh out load

Ceterum censeo, religionem delendam esse
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: