I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
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16-09-2015, 08:12 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 06:35 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I am having a bad week. I had a pretty bad fall this morning. Luckily my martial arts background kicked in and I landed safely. However it was heavy. It just added to the depressive bunk I am in this morning/week. I had a shower to calm down, put a load of laundry in. Trying to stay busy. I think I'll go to the cafe for breakfast. I have three hours before I leave for the hospital.

Let's hope I don't collapse on the road. Wish me luck.

Can you get a walker to help you with your balance when you are having bad days? The last thing you need is an injury that has to heal along with everything else going on.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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16-09-2015, 08:13 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 07:10 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Thanks Jenny.
Today is just a visit and back home again from hospital. Unsure whether to mention this depression.
At they cafe now trying to eat scrambled eggs. Having trouble.

Jesus Christ, Banjo, of course you should mention the depression and don't think you are the only one who experiences it. I go through it regularly but anti-depressants aggravate my bleeding so there isn't much I can do about it. I like scrambled eggs and hash browns for breakfast and my wife likes to watch me eat in the mornings. I have hand tremors in my right hand for the first few hours I am up and my wife thinks it's cute to watch me try to eat. I want to spread the fun around so I often go to breakfast with a group of retired trial lawyer friends so they can laugh at me too. I don't want to spoil anybody's fun by eating with my left hand and they often buy my breakfast just for the joy of watching me attack it. Big Grin

The worst thing for me is that I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden blood will roll out of my ass. Fortunately, it's never more than a couple tablespoons and "Depends" underwear always contains it completely. However, when it happens, even though nobody knows, I am always so embarrassed that I think, "Give me a rope and a tree and I'll hang myself right now." My wife can tell when it happens by the look on my face and she usually says, "Did you just get your period?"

What is amazing is that there was a time not too long ago when I never would have told you about this. I have grown up a little and I have no pride left so you, dear friends, get to hear about it even if you don't want to. Big Grin
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16-09-2015, 08:17 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Anjele's suggestion of a walker is a good idea. I tend to fall too so I use a cane and I like the cane because I can, jokingly, smack people I don't know with it. If you do it gently and with a smile, most folks think it's kind of fun to get picked on by an old guy with a cane.
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16-09-2015, 08:22 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 08:13 PM)Black Eagle Wrote:  
(16-09-2015 07:10 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Thanks Jenny.
Today is just a visit and back home again from hospital. Unsure whether to mention this depression.
At they cafe now trying to eat scrambled eggs. Having trouble.

Jesus Christ, Banjo, of course you should mention the depression and don't think you are the only one who experiences it. I go through it regularly but anti-depressants aggravate my bleeding so there isn't much I can do about it. I like scrambled eggs and hash browns for breakfast and my wife likes to watch me eat in the mornings. I have hand tremors in my right hand for the first few hours I am up and my wife thinks it's cute to watch me try to eat. I want to spread the fun around so I often go to breakfast with a group of retired trial lawyer friends so they can laugh at me too. I don't want to spoil anybody's fun by eating with my left hand and they often buy my breakfast just for the joy of watching me attack it. Big Grin

The worst thing for me is that I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden blood will roll out of my ass. Fortunately, it's never more than a couple tablespoons and "Depends" underwear always contains it completely. However, when it happens, even though nobody knows, I am always so embarrassed that I think, "Give me a rope and a tree and I'll hang myself right now." My wife can tell when it happens by the look on my face and she usually says, "Did you just get your period?"

What is amazing is that there was a time not too long ago when I never would have told you about this. I have grown up a little and I have no pride left so you, dear friends, get to hear about it even if you don't want to. Big Grin


I get it. I bled too today.

I will try. This all began, the depression, with a poor musical practice session on Tuesday. My standards are so high. I Skyped my samba master drum company owner who endorsers me. I played for him and he said I played beautifully. But still I cannot let go of it and it ruined my week. But I think it is the med's.

I am scared to mention it at hospital in case they take me back in. over 10 months of hospital in one year is enough.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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16-09-2015, 08:23 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 08:17 PM)Black Eagle Wrote:  Anjele's suggestion of a walker is a good idea. I tend to fall too so I use a cane and I like the cane because I can, jokingly, smack people I don't know with it. If you do it gently and with a smile, most folks think it's kind of fun to get picked on by an old guy with a cane.

I use a cane. But was walking to the bathroom when I fell and was not using it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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16-09-2015, 09:11 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
I can relate to that too. About three years ago, my wife was in Singapore doing a seminar for language teachers. I was here in Colorado trying a case. I had a hell of a time keeping up and following the evidence although the trial ultimately ended well for my client. Nobody recognized how sick I was except me. I immediately hopped a plane for Singapore and told my wife about it. I was devastated. That experience eventually led to my retirement but I still consult with young lawyers about their trials.

You may not be there yet, Banjo, but there may come a time when you realize that you may be more valuable to the music industry by teaching rather than playing. The transition is extremely difficult but once you make it, teaching can be the most rewarding thing you have ever done. Sometimes, we need to adjust our lives to fit our disabilities rather than trying to force our disabilities to adjust to our lives.
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16-09-2015, 09:19 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 09:11 PM)Black Eagle Wrote:  I can relate to that too. About three years ago, my wife was in Singapore doing a seminar for language teachers. I was here in Colorado trying a case. I had a hell of a time keeping up and following the evidence although the trial ultimately ended well for my client. Nobody recognized how sick I was except me. I immediately hopped a plane for Singapore and told my wife about it. I was devastated. That experience eventually led to my retirement but I still consult with young lawyers about their trials.

You may not be there yet, Banjo, but there may come a time when you realize that you may be more valuable to the music industry by teaching rather than playing. The transition is extremely difficult but once you make it, teaching can be the most rewarding thing you have ever done. Sometimes, we need to adjust our lives to fit our disabilities rather than trying to force our disabilities to adjust to our lives.

Teaching leaves a legacy.

Those with real talent, a skill, and knowledge should share it!

I am not at the level of you two, in anything...but it upsets me that my daughters don't want to take the time to let me teach them how to sew. Undecided I am actually pretty good at it and it's becoming a lost art. It's one of the things I missed most when I was dealing with nerve damage that messed with my hands and arms.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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16-09-2015, 09:23 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 09:11 PM)Black Eagle Wrote:  I can relate to that too. About three years ago, my wife was in Singapore doing a seminar for language teachers. I was here in Colorado trying a case. I had a hell of a time keeping up and following the evidence although the trial ultimately ended well for my client. Nobody recognized how sick I was except me. I immediately hopped a plane for Singapore and told my wife about it. I was devastated. That experience eventually led to my retirement but I still consult with young lawyers about their trials.

You may not be there yet, Banjo, but there may come a time when you realize that you may be more valuable to the music industry by teaching rather than playing. The transition is extremely difficult but once you make it, teaching can be the most rewarding thing you have ever done. Sometimes, we need to adjust our lives to fit our disabilities rather than trying to force our disabilities to adjust to our lives.

I know. I've been teaching since I was 18. Taught martial arts and music for well over 30 years.

I'd like to get back to it and playing if possible. At this time anything would be better than this boredom. I lost martial arts in the late 90's after a serious fall. Recoveed from a fractured spine and recovered my musical career. Fought hard for it. Only to lose it again. I am very frustrated. I spent over 90,000 hours just working on snare drum technique alone. It cannot go to waste.

At least I have a reason to fight. And I am determined to succeed. This drug is harsh and has already killed people this year. NOT me though! Thumbsup

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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16-09-2015, 09:33 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(16-09-2015 09:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  It's one of the things I missed most when I was dealing with nerve damage that messed with my hands and arms.

I totally understand. Thanks Anjele.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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16-09-2015, 09:45 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Off to hospital. Will likely post from there anyway. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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