I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
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20-10-2015, 09:57 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 08:35 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(20-10-2015 07:57 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  Hi Banjo.
I know I'm a complete stranger. Just wanted to tell you that you're an inspiration! Keep up the fight! :-)

Thank you. But others have it worse. A dear friend lost his gorgeous baby boy yesterday due to complications with the lung. Baby was not even 1 ear old.

What adds to this sadness is the father had his birthday his son died.

Me? I seem okay and am old, 51, and have had a chance to live. This baby was denied that opportunity. If I could trade places I would not hesitate. Though it is easy to say!

I may live or die. Nobody really knows. Turns out I am the only person on a particular drug trial. It could go either way. And so be it. But I could not help that baby and have no idea how to approach the devastated father. I think I will just hug him as hard as I can and he can cry on my shoulder all night. And I'll do the same.

There are so many sick people. I am not alone. And tonight, this thread of 130 pages or whatever, feels like a massive self serving cry for help.

I am nobody special. I am just a drummer. When I sit amongst the professors who look after me, I feel very inadequate.

Cancer is horrid. But it is only one of many. I urge people to help charities. Governments with their short sighted interests wont do a damned thing.

Oh and thanks for your support. I am having a horrible night.

I am so sorry to hear about your friends baby. Loosing ones child must be the most devastating thing that can happen to a person. A friend of mine lost her young child ~30 years ago and it is a wound that never heals entirely. But i think your friend will find it a great comfort that you understand the devastation. You're not going to tell him "it's gonna be okay" or "he's in a much better place now". You'll let him know that it is alright to be hurt, that there is room for him to grieve and that you grieve with him and have an unlimited supply of hugs available for him.

Please don't feel like you're too self involved or nobody special just because other people have even worse situations. There is always going to be people out there who have even worse stories, and it is very admirable of you that you do not get swallowed up by your own stuff and forget everybody else, but you also need to allow yourself some self-support. You are important too Smile Nobody benefits from you brushing your struggles off as nothing, however your friend will appreciate having you, who knows what it's like to deal with the reality of death and who will be there with genuine care and participation in the grief, rather than rattling off empty clichés. You will be a very good friend I'm sure!

Hug
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20-10-2015, 04:01 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 09:57 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  
(20-10-2015 08:35 AM)Banjo Wrote:  Thank you. But others have it worse. A dear friend lost his gorgeous baby boy yesterday due to complications with the lung. Baby was not even 1 ear old.

What adds to this sadness is the father had his birthday his son died.

Me? I seem okay and am old, 51, and have had a chance to live. This baby was denied that opportunity. If I could trade places I would not hesitate. Though it is easy to say!

I may live or die. Nobody really knows. Turns out I am the only person on a particular drug trial. It could go either way. And so be it. But I could not help that baby and have no idea how to approach the devastated father. I think I will just hug him as hard as I can and he can cry on my shoulder all night. And I'll do the same.

There are so many sick people. I am not alone. And tonight, this thread of 130 pages or whatever, feels like a massive self serving cry for help.

I am nobody special. I am just a drummer. When I sit amongst the professors who look after me, I feel very inadequate.

Cancer is horrid. But it is only one of many. I urge people to help charities. Governments with their short sighted interests wont do a damned thing.

Oh and thanks for your support. I am having a horrible night.

I am so sorry to hear about your friends baby. Loosing ones child must be the most devastating thing that can happen to a person. A friend of mine lost her young child ~30 years ago and it is a wound that never heals entirely. But i think your friend will find it a great comfort that you understand the devastation. You're not going to tell him "it's gonna be okay" or "he's in a much better place now". You'll let him know that it is alright to be hurt, that there is room for him to grieve and that you grieve with him and have an unlimited supply of hugs available for him.

Please don't feel like you're too self involved or nobody special just because other people have even worse situations. There is always going to be people out there who have even worse stories, and it is very admirable of you that you do not get swallowed up by your own stuff and forget everybody else, but you also need to allow yourself some self-support. You are important too Smile Nobody benefits from you brushing your struggles off as nothing, however your friend will appreciate having you, who knows what it's like to deal with the reality of death and who will be there with genuine care and participation in the grief, rather than rattling off empty clichés. You will be a very good friend I'm sure!

Hug

Thank you. That was lovely of you to say.

I am glad you decided you join this forum. I think it is better for having you here.

I kind of wish there were a god this morning. Someone to be angry with. But it was a physical ailment, nothing more. So anger just turns to sadness. A feeling of impotency.

And as I said in the thread about this, I am very worried about Craig. Drummers kill themselves. A lot! I believe in general the average for musicians to commit suicide is twice the average, and drummers top the list.

I have a cleaner booked to arrive this morning for an hour. I might just talk to her. The problem is she is a Catholic and if she comes out with a cliche I might just tell her she's fired. Perhaps I'll just STFU. She charges me just $10.00 an hour.

Anyway...

Thanks so much Lady Day.

Nice name too. I love Bilie Holiday.

Thanks again. Dale

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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20-10-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(17-10-2015 04:14 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(17-10-2015 02:54 AM)adey67 Wrote:  Not if there's folks who are haemorrhaging, or with acute MI's, breathing difficulties like acute asthma major trauma etc etc. He might get bumped up a little due to his condition but if his assessment shows nothing acutely life threatening then no deal that's kinda how triage works, it varies from country to country but not by much.
Stay safe banjo thinking of you.

Ah, I see. I'm an old fat man with diabetes and every time I go to the ER for whatever reason I say "I got a pain in my chest and my left arm." Front of the line.

Be well Banjo.

Gaming the system? Or as my brother says, "trick-fuckin' the Man."

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-10-2015, 08:29 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 08:35 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(20-10-2015 07:57 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  Hi Banjo.
I know I'm a complete stranger. Just wanted to tell you that you're an inspiration! Keep up the fight! :-)

Thank you. But others have it worse. A dear friend lost his gorgeous baby boy yesterday due to complications with the lung. Baby was not even 1 ear old.

What adds to this sadness is the father had his birthday his son died.

Me? I seem okay and am old, 51, and have had a chance to live. This baby was denied that opportunity. If I could trade places I would not hesitate. Though it is easy to say!

I may live or die. Nobody really knows. Turns out I am the only person on a particular drug trial. It could go either way. And so be it. But I could not help that baby and have no idea how to approach the devastated father. I think I will just hug him as hard as I can and he can cry on my shoulder all night. And I'll do the same.

There are so many sick people. I am not alone. And tonight, this thread of 130 pages or whatever, feels like a massive self serving cry for help.

I am nobody special. I am just a drummer. When I sit amongst the professors who look after me, I feel very inadequate.

Cancer is horrid. But it is only one of many. I urge people to help charities. Governments with their short sighted interests wont do a damned thing.

Oh and thanks for your support. I am having a horrible night.

Drummers are special. You keep the beat. You get us all to 1 at the exact right time. Nothing inadequate about that. Without the beat there's no dance, and without the dance, what's the point of existing?

Sorry you're feeling bad today, and I hope tomorrow is better.
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20-10-2015, 08:56 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Thanks Julep. At least my congas are being delivered in an hour. Smile

Chas, I have a "go to the front of the line" card. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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20-10-2015, 10:52 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 08:56 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I have a "go to the front of the line" card. Smile

If two of you have one, do you battle it out gladiator style?

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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21-10-2015, 01:31 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 04:01 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Thank you. That was lovely of you to say.

I am glad you decided you join this forum. I think it is better for having you here.

I kind of wish there were a god this morning. Someone to be angry with. But it was a physical ailment, nothing more. So anger just turns to sadness. A feeling of impotency.

And as I said in the thread about this, I am very worried about Craig. Drummers kill themselves. A lot! I believe in general the average for musicians to commit suicide is twice the average, and drummers top the list.

I have a cleaner booked to arrive this morning for an hour. I might just talk to her. The problem is she is a Catholic and if she comes out with a cliche I might just tell her she's fired. Perhaps I'll just STFU. She charges me just $10.00 an hour.

Anyway...

Thanks so much Lady Day.

Nice name too. I love Bilie Holiday.

Thanks again. Dale

Yaaay, you got the Billie Holiday reference! She is a great hero of mine. If I have an idol, she is it! I hope using her nickname is not rude. Presumably nobody mistakenly thinks that I'm the actual Billie Holiday. Tongue

Also, you're welcome. I so hope I managed to say something that at least didn't make everything hurt even worse. Actually, I've been quite active on this forum before in the past, but have been inactive due to my own battle with disease. I guess we all get our measure of struggle. Nothing like cancer or dying babies though, so nothing to worry about. I felt I had a little energy for being social again now, so I'm back! Big Grin

If your cleaner tuns out to be too cliché-catholic to have a good talk with, I and, I'm sure, a lot of your friends on this site, are here for you and happy to have a chat. Private too. It might be hard for us to find the right things to say and all that, but we can definitely be some people who genuinely care and have all the best intentions!

Also, drink chamomile tea! With honey! Chamomile tea makes everything better! Drinking Beverage
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21-10-2015, 02:37 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Thanks so much. I paid the cleaner and sent her home. That was fine,

I hope you are feeling better.

Turned out my other friends came to inform me about his own cancer. Not about the baby at all.

Never assume, eh? Confused

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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21-10-2015, 02:39 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(20-10-2015 10:52 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(20-10-2015 08:56 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I have a "go to the front of the line" card. Smile

If two of you have one, do you battle it out gladiator style?

Not as yet. Tongue

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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21-10-2015, 03:03 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(21-10-2015 02:37 AM)Banjo Wrote:  Thanks so much. I paid the cleaner and sent her home. That was fine,

I hope you are feeling better.

Turned out my other friends came to inform me about his own cancer. Not about the baby at all.

Never assume, eh? Confused
I'm doing alright thanks Smile

This friend Craig has lost a child and picked up cancer at the same time??? Shocking
That's not exactly your average run of bad luck and I can't come up with anything to say that would be helpful or comforting. I don't have the life experience to fully grasp such tragegy.
But I hope you'll give him a big hug from me too.
We're all rooting for you both! Shy
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