I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
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19-06-2015, 08:13 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Goddammit. I hate this. Hug

I like Chas's idea of having a bag packed with belongings in case you get readmitted. Pictures and posters on the walls, your blanket, a small stereo playing your favorite music... a positive atmosphere makes such a huge difference in your health. Helps you stay upbeat, but also the staff when they enter your room. Much better to have smiling nurses instead of grim or pissy ones, yeh? Also helps your visitors. So many times it's the *other* people in the room that are the wet dishrags when the going gets tough- I just want to shake them or kick them out of the room and say "Well he's not dead yet, let's continue to celebrate life while we have it. You're Negative Nancy attitude is not helping." Not to say that you can't at times be melancholy/disappointed/pissed...Just whatever it takes not to give up prematurely.

My mother-in-law had a pink pair of boxing gloves in her room signed by the family and it said "Kick cancer's ass." Prior to her first kidney transplant she was told she wouldn't live to see my ex husband turn twelve. One month after her second kidney transplant she was diagnosed with breast cancer and told it was grim. She refused to give up - its been three years and she's still kickin it, so is her kidney. We had our son send her a video when my father-in-law said she was feeling down, "Be brave, Nana."

Be brave, Banjo.

I'm hoping the best for you - either way, know you're very much loved. Heart I'm in awe of you - you have a beautiful soul. Hug

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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19-06-2015, 08:45 AM
I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
For some reason I'm feeling like I'm losing a friend. I don't even know you because I'm so new here. Maybe it's the drummer connection or maybe it's because just in the short time I've seen your posts. I have no idea where you're finding your strength, Banjo.

If I still had my sticks, I'd break out some 2B or 7A and bust out some buzz rolls and paradiddles for you.
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19-06-2015, 09:40 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(19-06-2015 07:25 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  FWIW your handling of this has taught me much, and I say it with all sincerity I'm glad I've met you.

I second that. I'd like to think I'd handle similar news half as well and I'm looking forward to reading your posts for years to come.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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19-06-2015, 09:53 AM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
I gotta say Banjo, you're being kinda selfish with this whole cancer thing, don't you think? I mean I get that it's tough fighting it and all that blablabla....but what about us? Consider what WE have to go through. We like you, see? So if you don't stick around, that will suck for us. Get it? So stop being so inconsiderate and go kick that cancer in the balls. Sheesh!










...but for real man, keep fighting til you're done fighting. And when you're done fighting, that's cool too. We love you brother.

J.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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19-06-2015, 07:55 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Thank you, every one of you.

Nurse, I treat the nurses with the respect and awe which I believe they all deserve. I am happy to say I am very popular on the ward and when I arrive everyone gathers around to greet me.

This morning I am hung over after last night's cognac, wine and cognac. And my hot water is not working and I cannot face a cold shower. I rang the real estate and they were like "Well it is Saturday and we don't know if we can get someone there..." Useless twits!

Possibly due to my being a bit hung over, I am not feeling too positive today. I keep thinking of my niece. I so desperately want to see her grow up.

I actually cried just before. For no reason. The chemo is playing havoc with my emotions anyway. Last week I was watching a cop show, and when they caught the killer I cried!

A student called and is coming over and bringing me 2 litres of orange juice. I love orange juice. I told him I may not be good company. He said he doesn't care.

You guys are an enormous help. I am so grateful for the posts in support. Amazed really. People can be so very wonderful. I love people. They can be cruel and kind. But they are all my brothers and sisters.

I had a call earlier from a former girlfriend. We lived together from 1990 to 1994. Touring saw the death of that relationship. She was the love of my life really. I only had the capacity to love twice. But she was the one. She is so worried about me. But she is into all this woo and recommends various groups. I told her I expect to be called into hospital at any moment and wont be able to attend any meetings.

She is an actual princess. She once asked me to marry her but I refused because I put music first. I would have been a royal. True story. I often wonder how life would have differed.... But I have no regrets. Music was always my mistress and the drums my greatest love.

Life is so funny. My brother in Thailand keeps sending me pictures of my niece. He is trying to keep my spirits up. He gets back to Sydney on the 24th.

I miss him. I miss my niece.

Just sitting here awaiting the call from the hospital....

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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19-06-2015, 08:00 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Sending huge hugs.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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19-06-2015, 08:06 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(19-06-2015 08:00 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Sending huge hugs.

Thanks sweetheart.

BTW, my gmail has packed it in. Will PM you another email address.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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19-06-2015, 08:08 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
The real estate came through and a guy is coming to fix my hot water!!! Big Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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19-06-2015, 09:09 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(19-06-2015 07:47 AM)Banjo Wrote:  No it is not about me, I am just one of us all. My pain is no differernt to anyone else.

Yesterday I saw this gorgeous young woman, any man's dream. And there she was, aged about 22, in the hematology ward getting her bloods checked. I tell you now honestly, I am more concerned about that young person than I am about myself.


And on it goes....

I saw so many people in the same place and often felt guilty because I really didn't look like I belonged there after the first couple months. The waiting rooms at oncology/hematology are places where shit gets real in your head.

We are here with you...hang on man...hang on. I didn't lose me, I don't wanna lose you either. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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19-06-2015, 10:14 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Come on brother Hug You can't come back and go away again, that's just rude.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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