I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
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02-07-2015, 10:10 AM (This post was last modified: 02-07-2015 10:13 AM by kim.)
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(02-07-2015 03:54 AM)Banjo Wrote:  -----
Apparently I can reapply for the trial at a later stage. Where there is life there is hope.
----

That's odd, maybe they have too many people right now? Or maybe your tests revealed something they don't want the drug to mix with ... maybe you still have a lot of the chemo drugs in you and they have to test on a cleaner system? Hmm, who knows?

I say reapply every other week, if that's what it takes to get in!

In the meanwhile, keep up with the healthy diet and plenty of rest to rebuild - it will help in the fight! Thumbsup

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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02-07-2015, 01:20 PM (This post was last modified: 02-07-2015 01:25 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
First order of business...

No one will be removing this thread! If it makes someone uncomfortable, simply put, don't read it. Honstly speaking we don't delete threads and we certainly wouldn't delete a thread just because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. There's plenty of shit aroind here that makes me uncomfortable -- I ignore it (unless it's a problem for the whole forum -- which this doesn't come close to qualifying).

Banjo you are loved by many here and your light shines brightly. The courage you've demonstrated should be a source of inspiration.

Love you!


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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02-07-2015, 03:40 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(02-07-2015 10:10 AM)kim Wrote:  
(02-07-2015 03:54 AM)Banjo Wrote:  -----
Apparently I can reapply for the trial at a later stage. Where there is life there is hope.
----

That's odd, maybe they have too many people right now?

That is odd. It sounds like it must've been something in your bloodwork which contraindicated the trial drug. If you can determine what that was you may be able to do something to rectify that. Your regular oncologist should be able to explain the reason. In the US if you're denied admission to a clinical trial it's because they don't think it would help and they want their drug to be approved. But I'm a cynical bastard.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-07-2015, 05:00 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(29-05-2015 05:25 AM)Banjo Wrote:  Hello everyone.
When last I was here an aggressive cancer had taken control of me and I could barely think straight and ended up spending many many months in hospital.

It was thought I would not survive and I was placed on the most dangerous chemo regimen a human could take. I came very close to death on a few occasions but refused to let go. In part I believe because I am an atheist. Seeing as I don't look forward to an after life, I refused to let go of this one.

I am home now. I still have 18 months of chemo to go. The doctors are amazed I am still alive and always congradulate me, but caution me to remain vigilant.

Very kind members have left messages of support I have yet to respond to. I will respond tomorrow after I sleep.

Thank you for the support in the past. Cancer had affected my brain and often I was barely rational. I appreciate the patience you showed.

What can I say to this?

I could say that your courage and determination is most certainly an inspiration. I could also say that you faced death with your chin up, holding a stiff upper lip, and kicked it in the ass.

I could say many things, but I think the best thing I can say to this is- despite the fact that I don't even know you- that it is people like you who give people like me and others a sense of hope as you illustrate your resilience at defeating one of the greatest plagues ever to befall mankind.

I have no doubts that you will cross the finish line, and even if you don't, you are still a winner.

Bowing

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were born this way.
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02-07-2015, 05:02 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(02-07-2015 01:20 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  First order of business...

No one will be removing this thread! If it makes someone uncomfortable, simply put, don't read it. Honstly speaking we don't delete threads and we certainly wouldn't delete a thread just because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. There's plenty of shit aroind here that makes me uncomfortable -- I ignore it (unless it's a problem for the whole forum -- which this doesn't come close to qualifying).

Banjo you are loved by many here and your light shines brightly. The courage you've demonstrated should be a source of inspiration.

Love you!

Do I get to say - I told you so? Tongue

Hope your day is going well Banjo.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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02-07-2015, 06:58 PM (This post was last modified: 02-07-2015 07:57 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(02-07-2015 05:02 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(02-07-2015 01:20 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  First order of business...

No one will be removing this thread! If it makes someone uncomfortable, simply put, don't read it. Honstly speaking we don't delete threads and we certainly wouldn't delete a thread just because it makes someone feel uncomfortable. There's plenty of shit aroind here that makes me uncomfortable -- I ignore it (unless it's a problem for the whole forum -- which this doesn't come close to qualifying).

Banjo you are loved by many here and your light shines brightly. The courage you've demonstrated should be a source of inspiration.

Love you!

Do I get to say - I told you so? Tongue

Hope your day is going well Banjo.

Anjele will keep you alive Banjo. She's done this. ... And my brother showed me you don't so much die as dissipate.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-07-2015, 08:08 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Hi everyone.

Again, thanks so much for the thoughts and support. Thumbsup

I have a clearer understanding of what has happened. Yesterday I was really out of it. I am still a bit that way today. The reason is because of the very strong chemo I have been on. That plus other drugs I was given yesterday have made me very slow.

As for the test, one's leukeamia levels must be at a certain percentage in order to qualify. Last week's bone marrow biopsy showed my levels as well above the level needed. This week I was 1 % under! Blink

I asked is this a good or bad thing? The answer, "It is an unusual thing."

Which did not tell me much at all. Consider

As to how I would tell my dad? Well he just called while I was typing this response. He asked what was happening and I told him what I just told you. Straight to the point, no BS, just the situation as I know it. He seemed ok and told me if I need anything just ask. Of course he lives hundreds of kilometers away and is 87, so I am not planning on asking much! Big Grin

During this same post my brother rang and told me he will be speaking to the people at the hospital within the hour. He will retain the information better than I can at this time.

I am under the understanding that 400 people worldwide is the limit for this clinical trial. The trial being more important than any individual is of course as it should be. I fully support and understand this. And as you may know, those of you who have read this entire enormous thread, that I am mostly worried about a young girl in RPA who has been very sick. If this drug can help her and it takes another person to do it, than I say Great! I am 51 and have had a pretty interesting life.saying that does not mean I am fatalistic. So don't get the wrong idea.

Anyway, it is an interesting thing to be going through and I have learned a great deal. Certainly a lot about various types of cancers and how people have faced it. I have seen stoicism, out of control crying, death...You name it. In fact one lovely man, Trevor, helped me when I kept falling over from low blood pressure. Trevor, who was old, held me up until two nurses could save the situation. Two days later Trevor died. I still feel that loss today. He was such a nice bloke. And he had the loudest ringtone on his phone I ever heard! Big Grin

So there you have it. One good thing is my lumbar puncture next week has been cancelled. Big Grin

Cheers guys. Dale

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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02-07-2015, 08:27 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
(02-07-2015 08:08 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I am under the understanding that 400 people worldwide is the limit for this clinical trial. The trial being more important than any individual is of course as it should be. I fully support and understand this.

If Girly thought the treatment was promising I'd acquire the treatment and treat myself. Fuck the law. And fuck their trial.




There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-07-2015, 08:30 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
As is true with most everything cancer is different in how it affects different people...the same is true for the treatments.

I dealt with my situation mostly in my head. I started writing things down in the very beginning and then stopped...I sometimes wish I would have kept up with it. Even without chemo it was a roller coaster and I could never see what was going to happen next. Music got me through a lot of it, as did old, stupid sitcoms.

I dyed part of my hair breast cancer ribbon pink a few days before my mastectomies. Kind of a 'fuck you' to the possibility of chemo and losing my hair. I wish I had thought to have someone take a picture.

My surgery was five days before Halloween (my favorite holiday). We already had the house all decked out. Though I could barely move my arms, I got into my costume, put on my wig and makeup and sat outside. I guided people to the front door. I was popping pain pills while my husband handed out candy - goddamn cancer wasn't going to stop me from participating in what could have been my last Halloween!

We are often our own best medicine.

Your choices are to lay down and give up or keep right on going no matter how much you think you can't. The choice is your own.

I surprised even myself that I kept on plowing through all the crap that was thrown at me.

We aren't letting you go quite yet...

Much love.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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02-07-2015, 08:48 PM
RE: I have survived toughest year. Still in danger, but still alive.
Thanks Girlyman. My brother has learned the drug can be acquired in India....

Anjele you are a tower of strength. As you know I wont give up like those religious idiots who spent most of their time bawling their eyes out then gave up and fell into the arms of Jesus. They are dead, I am still here.

And I will be here until I am not. Just like all of us. I have seen enough very sick people to know I am simply one of many. Many who are suffering more than I. Hell just a five minute walk from my door.

Living in Australia is a boon for someone such as myself. Free healthcare is a great advantage and I hope one day you guys in America get it. Even the ambulance is free to a pensioner such as myself.

I have been thinking for a while about learning how to play this little Indian drum called kanjira. Here is a photo of a kanjira.

[Image: 1%20tha.JPG]

Great little drum! I have similar skills from my playing the Brasilian tambourine, the pandeiro, and I think I could learn the kanjira. At least enough to get me by in any musical situation I may find myself in in Australia. I wont be asked to play Indian classical music. Big Grin

For about five seconds I thought "What is the point?" and then caught myself. If I remember Plato's Apology correctly, Socrates took a music lesson the night before he was executed.

No giving up, no surrender!

Plus learning the kanjira is one more thing I just have to do! Wink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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