I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
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10-11-2012, 06:19 AM
 
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 05:57 AM)Hamata k Wrote:  You people make this such a big deal. My letter or whatever. would go something like this.

"Hi everybody. In order to avoid future awkwardness. I'm going to tell everyone right now. I am an atheist. Alright then. If anyone has any questions , I can answer them. If you want to yell at me. kindly don't."

All this drama is unnecessary.

Oh and Egor. If the family feels stressed and depressed over this then their idiots. plain and simple. friggin people and their foolishness. going to kill me one day.


I'm not saying her family is or is not idiotic. They may be hyper-religious, but what good is "coming out" to them. The only possible motivation is to draw attention to herself or hurt her family members. I mean what does she think they're going to do? Trade in their Christmas tree for a "knowledge" tree?
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10-11-2012, 06:42 AM
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 06:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  The only possible motivation is to draw attention to herself or hurt her family members.

You forgot, to get a rise out of you. Which already happened. Which falsifies your hypothesis. Tongue

People "come out" as an expression of integrity in identity. Like I got this sock puppet on another forum, but I hardly ever use it because I hafta not mention my Gwynnies. And I don't do well not mentioning my Gwynnies. Because that's how I'm defined - fool in love with Gwyneth Paltrow. Big Grin

Same thing here. People of integrity don't want their crew to assume they are something they are not. Has nothing to do with whether or not god exists, has to do with the existence of religious institutions and traditions found to be distasteful.

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10-11-2012, 03:10 PM
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(08-11-2012 10:08 PM)Pandabby Wrote:  Bear with me, it's a lot. I'm sorry if it seems like I rambled, but I would love to hear your input. Has anyone else come clean with a letter? How did it feel? Did you get much backlash because you didn't do so in person?

Code:
Dear Family,

I want to begin by saying that I love you all, and that nothing will or could ever change that. I am writing to you to confess something that you would have probably found out sooner or later, but I would rather tell you my self. I am an atheist.


This is not a recent self-discovery, nor is it one that was easy to make. The details are unnecessary but I will not hesitate to tell you if you want to know, so ask if you want to know. Unfortunately I no longer believe in God or gods, saints or angels, miracles or demons. I also don’t believe I am going to hell, in fact, I don’t even believe hell exists. Please do not confuse this for hate towards you, towards God, or religion, although there is some animosity, since after so long of living a life like that it almost felt the same as the day I stopped believing in Santa. This was something horribly difficult for me to overcome, something I had to go through all on my own. I felt abandoned, orphaned, without a path. I thought God himself was punishing me, as if at some point in my life I did something so horrible that needed the same punishment Jesus himself suffered at the cross. Meanwhile nothing in my life changed, and I got closer to God than ever before, but that was exactly what brought me to the inevitable realization that this was all a mere illusion, some sweet candy to calm my nerves.

I hope that this does not change your perception of me as a person, as a wife, or as a mother, because I am the same person I always was, albeit maybe happier since I don’t have to pretend I am something other than what I really am. Being my family, you have seen me exactly as I am, and know me as I know myself: optimistic, charismatic, comical, and more than anything open-minded. I hope to receive the same warmth and love as ever, because from me that will never change, and I will love you and care for you as I always have.

If for some reason you feel animosity towards me I will leave you with this: you did not make a mistake. You have been a pivotal part of my development as a human being, as a person, and as a Christian. My mom and dad taught me very well but they had one little flaw. They taught me to think on my own, to investigate, to read the small print. They taught me to ask questions, to study and imagine, and most of all they taught me to appreciate science, and to work hard in school. It has become near impossible for me to take things on faith and faith alone. I need evidence, I
need results, and I want to know the truth, even though I know I might never really know the truth. Please forgive me, but to me the Bible now looks like just another work of fiction, a book of tales and terrible crimes, and horribly violent punishments.

I beg you, please don’t lose your love for me, but if you really think of me as an aberration I ask you one last thing. In the end all I want to know and learn is truth, and I would love it if you would be willing to teach me what you see to be true. Maybe you’re right, maybe I am wrong, but then show me the truth; show me irrefutable evidence because then I will have nothing else to do but accept it as so.

“Atheist: A person who believes in one god less than you”

- Donald Morgan


As you can see, I finished it with one of my favorite quotes so far, in hopes that my family can sympathize. My parents where very religious and took it hard when my brother came out as an atheist. Unfortunately our relationship isn't very close so I haven't had him for much support, just incentive. My husbands family, however is very deeply christian, and I do not expect anything good from this, although his sister has already replied telling me she loves me no matter what, and that she already kinda knew.

The amount of relief I feel right now can only be compared to the amount of anxiety I feel.



You said you were looking for the truth, and yet you do not seem to realize that you have already found it.

You see, you are being "true" to yourself by rightfully doubting everything you were taught from religion. When I say "taught" this is also true, because you had no beliefs the day you were born. You were an atheist from Day 1, and it was religion that made you part of a system of beliefs, as opposed to logic and reason.

You were truthful with your family and friends when you told them you do not wish to believe in what was written in those old religious books.

You see, "truth" is not something that has some universal one-size-fits-all definition. Truth is personal, and what may be true to you, may not be so true to others, and vice-versa. You have found your personal truth and shared it with us, atheists like you, who accept your personal truth for the simple reason that it also belongs to us.

So don't worry about what the general truth is because it has infinite possibilities. All that matters is how the truth applies to you, and so far you seem to have a handle on it.

Welcome home to the default place you were the day you were born.

Clap

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were born this way.
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10-11-2012, 06:02 PM
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 06:19 AM)Egor Wrote:  
(10-11-2012 05:57 AM)Hamata k Wrote:  You people make this such a big deal. My letter or whatever. would go something like this.

"Hi everybody. In order to avoid future awkwardness. I'm going to tell everyone right now. I am an atheist. Alright then. If anyone has any questions , I can answer them. If you want to yell at me. kindly don't."

All this drama is unnecessary.

Oh and Egor. If the family feels stressed and depressed over this then their idiots. plain and simple. friggin people and their foolishness. going to kill me one day.


I'm not saying her family is or is not idiotic. They may be hyper-religious, but what good is "coming out" to them. The only possible motivation is to draw attention to herself or hurt her family members. I mean what does she think they're going to do? Trade in their Christmas tree for a "knowledge" tree?
Let me lay this out. She's obviously extremely stressed to come out to her family. Chances are that she was suffering each day having to keep up a lie. Every day. Every single day. You would have to watch what you say, how you act, what you do, just to keep up the appearance that you still believe.

So with this in mind. You're saying that she should've continued to suffer for the sake of her families beliefs just to keep them happy? Not everyone is into the "self sacrifice" thing.

If her family fails to to see the what kind of stress she was under just to keep up the lie...then they're not very good at paying attention. Even more. If they are angry at her for "coming out" and would've wished she had kept the lie going....then they're not worth the light of day.

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10-11-2012, 06:21 PM
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
You aren't going to make someone understand that it's hard to live a lie when they can't figure out what their own truth is.

Oh, and STFU Egor. As I said when I neg repped you...pick a fucking side and stay with it a while, you fraud.

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10-11-2012, 09:26 PM (This post was last modified: 10-11-2012 09:56 PM by Janus.)
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
Pandabby, it amazes me that you invested all that time, effort, and energy into crafting this letter – which, by its length alone looks more like a grovelling apology than like taking a defiant stand, a line in the sand – to the very community that by its peer pressure caused you to waste so much time over your life with all this religious BS!
You don't owe them any apologies or explanations! If anything they owe you apologies!

In your place I wouldn't waste any more time and energy on it. Not a second! It's not worth it. It has already cost you far too much time!
You see, now that you're an atheïst there are no heaven and hell anymore. Which means that your time is indeed very limited! You only get one chance at life, and that is this one! Now! When this one is finished it is really over! Finito! Time has really become more precious to you now that you're an atheïst! So you really can't afford to waste it on religious nonsense.

Believers afford themselves to waste time. Atheïsts don't have that fake luxury.
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10-11-2012, 10:25 PM
 
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 06:02 PM)Hamata k Wrote:  Let me lay this out. She's obviously extremely stressed to come out to her family. Chances are that she was suffering each day having to keep up a lie. Every day. Every single day. You would have to watch what you say, how you act, what you do, just to keep up the appearance that you still believe.

So with this in mind. You're saying that she should've continued to suffer for the sake of her families beliefs just to keep them happy? Not everyone is into the "self sacrifice" thing.

If her family fails to to see the what kind of stress she was under just to keep up the lie...then they're not very good at paying attention. Even more. If they are angry at her for "coming out" and would've wished she had kept the lie going....then they're not worth the light of day.


I suppose if that's the case, then her "comming out" might be justifiable. And for all I know, maybe she's looking to get a divorce and get away. And yeah, it would be really hard to join in some ridiculous group prayer or some such thing if you hate religion and hate the idea of God. Actually, I believe in God and Jesus Christ and I can hardly bear to hear others talk about religion, and I will not pray in public--ever. So, if in my heart I were an atheist, I would find her circumstance unbearable.

See--I can be reasonable. Angel
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10-11-2012, 10:31 PM
 
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 06:21 PM)Anjele Wrote:  You aren't going to make someone understand that it's hard to live a lie when they can't figure out what their own truth is.

Oh, and STFU Egor. As I said when I neg repped you...pick a fucking side and stay with it a while, you fraud. Laughat


Do you really think I give a damn about rep points? For me, it's a badge of honor to be negative in rep points.
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10-11-2012, 10:35 PM
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
(10-11-2012 10:31 PM)Egor Wrote:  
(10-11-2012 06:21 PM)Anjele Wrote:  You aren't going to make someone understand that it's hard to live a lie when they can't figure out what their own truth is.

Oh, and STFU Egor. As I said when I neg repped you...pick a fucking side and stay with it a while, you fraud. Laughat


Do you really think I give a damn about rep points? For me, it's a badge of honor to be negative in rep points.

Yes, I must agree, being neg-repped by you is quite the honour, Egor.

Least my honour is an earned one.

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12-11-2012, 11:39 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2012 11:44 AM by kpax.)
RE: I just "came out" to my friends and family. This is what I e-mailed them
LOL. Egor negative repped me for "For being a jerk." because I negative repped him for being a jerk. Laughat

Goes to show what he knows. I'm actually a bitch! LOL. idiot.

As I said, stay out of the kitchen if you can't take the heat. People are right about you. You seem to want to dish it out but cry when you get it back. Sadcryface2
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