I just feel like whining
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06-02-2014, 05:00 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
I haven't been in this situation before, but I just want to throw out an idea:

Would there be a way to, in a sense, take a vacation? Like hire a full time nurse or some family or something and just week or two off? Hang out with friends or just do something? Take some time to relax and let out the stress so you can collect your thoughts.
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06-02-2014, 05:09 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
You didn't say but is some sort of Assisted Living out of the question? I had my dad living with me and even though he was not difficult it got to the point where he could not be left in the house alone. {We knew it was over when he went out to get something in the car which was on the driveway and we found him 3 blocks away a half hour later.}

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06-02-2014, 07:17 PM (This post was last modified: 06-02-2014 07:35 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I just feel like whining
That fucking sucks WarHammer. Watched a colleague and friend of mine go early onset Alzheimer's at 52 yo. It fucking scared the shit outta me. I been taking hydergine and piracetam ever since. The nootropics don't show much evidence for reversing dementia but they may delay it.

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06-02-2014, 07:26 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
Fuck. Just fuck.

I guess I'm gonna need a walk in the woods.

Just visiting.

-SR
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06-02-2014, 07:52 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
That's not whining, fella! That's some legitimate concern to get off your chest (& it IS good to vent). I feel for ya! Hug

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06-02-2014, 09:29 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
Yeah, no words of wisdom here dude, but I wish you (and your wife) the best. I can only imagine how hard that would be, but it does say a lot about your character that you are staying by her when she needs it most.

Cheers, bro.

Here's a hug, no homo.

Hug

"It's a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ, Sugar Street
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06-02-2014, 09:33 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
(06-02-2014 04:17 PM)War Horse Wrote:  Goddamnit, I'm so fucking tired of taking care of a 60yo women with dementia that I feel like packing up my bike with a few things and hauling ass to where ever.

Its been 2+ years of surgeries and almost dying (with her) so many times, that I dont even have any feelings anymore... let the cards fall where they may.

Recently, going through old photos (27 years of marriage), I see the love I once had for my wife, I still care, but I really kind of hate her now.
I sit here 24/7 just to take care of her every need and cant leave her alone for any real amount of time, because she might burn the house down or hurt herself.

We've gotten Hospice invovled and they have given us a nurse that comes in for 8 hours on Saturday so I can get out and enjoy a few hours away, but the dread in my stomach comming back home is a nightmare in itself.

I know I should be taking care of myself or I wont be of any help for her, but I'm just plain ass worn out, and wish it would all just end.

Unless youve been through this, its a bit hard to relate, and I'm just kind of venting for whats left of my sanity.

Might also be why I come off a bit strange in here on some posts,I've always been a strong minded person and not prone to giving up, but I swear, I'm getting to a breaking point.

I feel like I still have a few good years left in me, and they're dwindling down with this bullshit and I really still want to enjoy my life before they wheel me off to the old folks home.

OK, I feel a little better now, thanks for letting me rant .

Can you please F********* TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER, OTHER THAN DEMENTIA? Sorry, I just want to know.

Insulting me will convert me real fast!
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Me:
Can we define him as he defines himself? Or will he define himself as we define how he defines himself? But, if we do that, will we define him as he defines himself based on our definition of how we see him define himself?
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06-02-2014, 09:34 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
Vent all you like, we're all ears.

(I think I'm going to go hug my wife now Sadcryface )

Throughout history conversions happen at the point of a sword, deconversions at the point of a pen - FC

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. - Mark Twain in Eruption
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06-02-2014, 10:27 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
Sounds like you need more than 8 hours a day on Saturday. That is not enough of a break for anyone, especially when it comes to dementia.

My mother (and I) lived in a mother in law suite in exchange for help with the wife of the homeowner. She had horrible advanced dementia and could no longer recognize her husband. He got a break for dinner and daily bathing (she would scream at him because she didn't want some strange man touching her)

I really feel for you and though I have never been the caregiver I have seen the toll on too many loved ones. You need to take care of you to keep this up or you will pack your bags and run.

Blink
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. -George S. Patton
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06-02-2014, 10:54 PM
RE: I just feel like whining
Huge to you... As others have said, there's no magic solution for these situations. Without having been through this myself, it seems like the hardest part would be the battle of trying to remember the person as they were before the disease took hold. I hope you are able to do this, as I'm sure your wife is an amazing person behind whatever disease process she is experiencing.
Take care of yourself, and feel free to vent anytime.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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