I'll pray for you...
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05-08-2012, 02:45 PM
I'll pray for you...
I want to keep this post short, but first I want to apologize for not being a more active member of this community of people that I would like to be more involved in. I feel like if I expect anyone to respond to my threads, then I should occasionally return the favor, and I have not really done that. I will try to be more of a team player in the future.

The back story isn't important, I'll skip straight to the scenario and the question. If you tell someone in your family that you love that you are an atheist and all you ask of them is to accept it, and they respond by telling you that a) they still love you no matter what you believe, but b) they are going to pray for you and especially c) they can't help but think that you'll change your mind one day ------ is it just me or is that explicitly not accepting it? Isn't a) contradictory to b) and c) ? Is it just me?

I realize that this person was probably doing the best they could do to show support with their Christian mind set. But look. If your dog dies, or some one you care for dies, do you pray to god that he revives them and they live again? Or do you accept their death? Perhaps not initially, but with a little time, absolutely you will come to accept it. And that depresses me. That someone can accept a death of a loved one but can't accept atheism of a loved one is just depressing.

The idea that these people are praying, perhaps daily, that I will find god (of the bible) is to me the exact opposite of accepting that I'm an atheist. The equivalent would be me saying "I hope one day you abandon your religion, I believe one day you will realize all of it was just a myth", and I wouldn't dare say that to my own family.

My 2 cents.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING
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05-08-2012, 03:02 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
No, you're not the only one. I hate it when people tell me that they'll pray for me or that its "just a phase you're going through". I wish they could see that its not a phase and that their prayers just make me feel awkward.

"Leave the atom alone."
-E.Y. Harburgh
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05-08-2012, 03:49 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
(05-08-2012 02:45 PM)parsonf Wrote:  I want to keep this post short, but first I want to apologize for not being a more active member of this community of people that I would like to be more involved in. I feel like if I expect anyone to respond to my threads, then I should occasionally return the favor, and I have not really done that. I will try to be more of a team player in the future.

The back story isn't important, I'll skip straight to the scenario and the question. If you tell someone in your family that you love that you are an atheist and all you ask of them is to accept it, and they respond by telling you that a) they still love you no matter what you believe, but b) they are going to pray for you and especially c) they can't help but think that you'll change your mind one day ------ is it just me or is that explicitly not accepting it? Isn't a) contradictory to b) and c) ? Is it just me?

I realize that this person was probably doing the best they could do to show support with their Christian mind set. But look. If your dog dies, or some one you care for dies, do you pray to god that he revives them and they live again? Or do you accept their death? Perhaps not initially, but with a little time, absolutely you will come to accept it. And that depresses me. That someone can accept a death of a loved one but can't accept atheism of a loved one is just depressing.

The idea that these people are praying, perhaps daily, that I will find god (of the bible) is to me the exact opposite of accepting that I'm an atheist. The equivalent would be me saying "I hope one day you abandon your religion, I believe one day you will realize all of it was just a myth", and I wouldn't dare say that to my own family.

My 2 cents.

Seems to me, your askin for them to accept and respect your choice, but your not as willing to return the favour - if they pray for you this doesnt harm you, is in accordance with there beliefs and by right you should respect that.

Maybe thats just me though, respect and reciprocity walk hand in hand.

Its also not really the same as saying you hope they lose there faith, from your POV, theres no consequence to them having faith or not, from there POV your descion has consequence, you dont need to agree with there POV to understand or respect it. If you cant respect there views, seems like a double standard to belittle them for not respecting yours.

Just my tuppence worth.

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05-08-2012, 04:55 PM
I'll pray for you...
(05-08-2012 03:49 PM)Humakt Wrote:  
(05-08-2012 02:45 PM)parsonf Wrote:  I want to keep this post short, but first I want to apologize for not being a more active member of this community of people that I would like to be more involved in. I feel like if I expect anyone to respond to my threads, then I should occasionally return the favor, and I have not really done that. I will try to be more of a team player in the future.

The back story isn't important, I'll skip straight to the scenario and the question. If you tell someone in your family that you love that you are an atheist and all you ask of them is to accept it, and they respond by telling you that a) they still love you no matter what you believe, but b) they are going to pray for you and especially c) they can't help but think that you'll change your mind one day ------ is it just me or is that explicitly not accepting it? Isn't a) contradictory to b) and c) ? Is it just me?

I realize that this person was probably doing the best they could do to show support with their Christian mind set. But look. If your dog dies, or some one you care for dies, do you pray to god that he revives them and they live again? Or do you accept their death? Perhaps not initially, but with a little time, absolutely you will come to accept it. And that depresses me. That someone can accept a death of a loved one but can't accept atheism of a loved one is just depressing.

The idea that these people are praying, perhaps daily, that I will find god (of the bible) is to me the exact opposite of accepting that I'm an atheist. The equivalent would be me saying "I hope one day you abandon your religion, I believe one day you will realize all of it was just a myth", and I wouldn't dare say that to my own family.

My 2 cents.

Seems to me, your askin for them to accept and respect your choice, but your not as willing to return the favour - if they pray for you this doesnt harm you, is in accordance with there beliefs and by right you should respect that.

Maybe thats just me though, respect and reciprocity walk hand in hand.

Its also not really the same as saying you hope they lose there faith, from your POV, theres no consequence to them having faith or not, from there POV your descion has consequence, you dont need to agree with there POV to understand or respect it. If you cant respect there views, seems like a double standard to belittle them for not respecting yours.

Just my tuppence worth.

This is my thought as well. In their belief system, you will spend an eternity in hell because of your decision to be an atheist. They sure wouldn't love you very much if they were supportive of your eternal damnation. Or maybe you're worried their prayers will have an effect. Big Grin

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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05-08-2012, 05:25 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
(05-08-2012 02:45 PM)parsonf Wrote:  I want to keep this post short, but first I want to apologize for not being a more active member of this community of people that I would like to be more involved in. I feel like if I expect anyone to respond to my threads, then I should occasionally return the favor, and I have not really done that. I will try to be more of a team player in the future.

The back story isn't important, I'll skip straight to the scenario and the question. If you tell someone in your family that you love that you are an atheist and all you ask of them is to accept it, and they respond by telling you that a) they still love you no matter what you believe, but b) they are going to pray for you and especially c) they can't help but think that you'll change your mind one day ------ is it just me or is that explicitly not accepting it? Isn't a) contradictory to b) and c) ? Is it just me?

I realize that this person was probably doing the best they could do to show support with their Christian mind set. But look. If your dog dies, or some one you care for dies, do you pray to god that he revives them and they live again? Or do you accept their death? Perhaps not initially, but with a little time, absolutely you will come to accept it. And that depresses me. That someone can accept a death of a loved one but can't accept atheism of a loved one is just depressing.

The idea that these people are praying, perhaps daily, that I will find god (of the bible) is to me the exact opposite of accepting that I'm an atheist. The equivalent would be me saying "I hope one day you abandon your religion, I believe one day you will realize all of it was just a myth", and I wouldn't dare say that to my own family.

My 2 cents.

For me it's annoying.

Being prayed for is like saying, I'm too lazy to try and do anything.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
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05-08-2012, 05:34 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
When someone says they're going to pray for me I laugh and tell them "OK, you pray for me and I'll think for you"
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05-08-2012, 08:38 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
If you're going to pray for me, pray that I win the lottery. Everything else I got covered
Or
You don't have to pray for me. I already asked god to show me that he exists by giving you a giant hairy mole on the right side of your face.
If you're gonna pray for anybody, it should be you. Of course I don't think this will happen, I'm an atheist. On the off chance that I'm wrong, keep checking the mirror each day.
Or
You seem to disagree with god's plan a great deal. Is it a lack of faith that has you on your knees so often praying for god to change his mind ?

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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05-08-2012, 10:02 PM (This post was last modified: 05-08-2012 10:40 PM by Thomas.)
RE: I'll pray for you...
I will pray that you find truth and may reason guide you along the way.

My family prays for me all the time. It helps them cope. I'm always available for a reasonable discussion on faith. They long ago stopped doing that.

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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05-08-2012, 10:27 PM
RE: I'll pray for you...
well if they were my fammily then I would go on the offensive because they can take it. meaning I would ridicule them, a lot. so yeah. however anyone else would just get some smart ass response that i would rhink up.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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06-08-2012, 08:23 AM
RE: I'll pray for you...
I'm not going to tell anyone not to pray for me because they can do what they dammed well want to, as long as I they leave me alone. I bet 3/4 of them will forget or never get around to it anyway. Mere lip service.

However, I do find the phrase annoying because it connotes their superiority, whilst I must be a lower, stupid person. *~They~* have the power to change god's mind and have him give me a make-over because I'm not like them.

Some days it's all I can do to bite my tongue.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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