I'm Tired of Pretending
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18-08-2013, 10:27 PM
I'm Tired of Pretending
So even though I'm new to this forum, I love it. It's a place where I can be me without fear of judgment. No one in real life knows the real me. It's more than just my lack of religion. It's my political beliefs and even my opinions on drinking, sex, kissing, homo- and bisexuality and other things Christianity frowns upon. My friends unknowingly bash my opinions on certain things, and I hate it. I guess it sounds like I shouldn't be friends with them, but I love them to death even if they have different opinions than me. My only complaint about them is their close-mindedness, but even that is worth putting up with because I love them so much.

Since joining this forum a few days ago, I've wanted so badly to finally tell my family and friends about the real me. I almost told my sister I'm an atheist tonight. I only have my senior year of high school left, and I keep telling myself I can make it until I move out, but I don't know anymore. I hate not being able to be myself. I know though that if I tell my family and friends about my atheism, my mom's side of the family will see me as a disappointment. An embarrassment. My mom will probably withhold financial support to college unless I agree to go to a Christian or very religious college. My friends will probably abandon me or try to convert me. Even if they don't abandon me, things will be incredibly awkward with them. I don't know what to do. I need so very badly to tell someone, but I don't want to if it will make my life a living hell. How can I cope with this? What can I do? Should I just wait the year out?
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18-08-2013, 10:38 PM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
Yes. Wait it out. These things have a tendency to not go over so good at first. You are in a transitional period in your life and it sounds like certain things might be dependent upon other certain things that may be profoundly affected by the revelation of your transition into nonbelief.

I would strongly suggest holding out until you are independent enough to be able to deflect (or absorb) any backlash that this may cause.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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18-08-2013, 10:38 PM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
Please forgive the practical (rather than empathetic) answer...

It's simple.

Don't tell them. Tell us.

Oh wait! You just have Smile

Sometimes we need to shout it to the world... not just type it. So join one of the Skype calls.

We promise not to tease you about your accent

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18-08-2013, 10:42 PM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
Wait until your settled at school. It's just the better strategy/route of least pain....especially if your fan is hardcore religious.

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18-08-2013, 10:56 PM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
Become a regular here, we'll be your friends too! Wait it out. I had to for awhile when I lived in a closed community and years later I am glad I stayed quiet there but found the connections here. It is incredibly hard sometimes but it's worth biting the tongue.

No right or wrong answer but that's my opinion. Smile
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19-08-2013, 07:04 AM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
The practical answer is to wait - use us as your outlet.

You might also be a little more skeptical, a little more open-minded, a little more accepting than your friends when conversing.
Be the one whose views challenge theirs a little bit. They may see you as more modern or more liberal or a little shocking. Have fun with it.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-08-2013, 08:49 AM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
You already know the answer to the question you asked. Your apprehension alone indicates you know it would be a mistake to tell them. It's not so much about "waiting it out" or anything, it's just about being honest once you can do so safely. College is a good place for that a lot of the time. And it helps that you'll be making new friends (pick a school somewhere a little more liberal) and have people to talk to that are more open.

Enjoy college mate Thumbsup It is a load better than high school.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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19-08-2013, 09:14 AM (This post was last modified: 19-08-2013 09:26 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
(18-08-2013 10:38 PM)DLJ Wrote:  We promise not to tease you about your accent

Speak for yourself. Tongue

BTW, where are you going to school ? In the South ? You could "bide your time", (as hard as that would be), and in a year or two, tell your mom that
the best place for your major is (for example) at Georgia Tech, or somewhere big, like that. Make it sound like a necessary career move tactic.
The atmosphere at the larger places like that would be more liberal.
(My two best friends go there), and they don't go around broadcasting it, but there are TONS of nonbelievers in their classes.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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19-08-2013, 09:27 AM (This post was last modified: 19-08-2013 09:32 AM by KidCharlemagne1962.)
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
(19-08-2013 09:14 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(18-08-2013 10:38 PM)DLJ Wrote:  We promise not to tease you about your accent

Speak for yourself. Tongue

We'll pick on the Brits instead!

Afterall I'm from the proper England...New EnglandDrinking Beverage

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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19-08-2013, 09:31 AM
RE: I'm Tired of Pretending
(19-08-2013 09:27 AM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  
(19-08-2013 09:14 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Speak for yourself. Tongue

We'll pick on the Brits instead!

Afterall I from the proper England...New EnglandDrinking Beverage

Which is short-hand for New, Improved England! Now packed with more awesome!
Better beaches!
Better food!
Better bathrooms!
Better dentistry!
Better roads!

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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