I'm VERY Close To Snapping
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02-05-2017, 09:40 PM
I'm VERY Close To Snapping
I'm about ready to snap at my grandmother and her 'brow beating' ways and hypocrite self. I normally can take it, but lately she is getting to be insufferable! Dodgy

I mean, I don't make much money, about a 1000 a month, however my mom normally gets the groceries. However my step dad bought a very expensive bike, and she needed some help getting them. I offered, sure I went form that to 500 in a day, then had to get me a knew bike as mine fell apart, so I have at least 400 for the month. Not all the horrible.

But my fucking god-damn grandmother wont' let it go. She's blaming my mom, and me for having to pick up the slack as 'She's the one whos suppose to get it and you help out with the odds and ends.'

Then goes right around, when i defend my mom, to say 'Don't tell her I told you this or I'll bust your tail.' I'm almost 19 and she still threatens me with a belt or swich!

I'm beyond over the edge, and ready to snap. I feel rage tick in my chest every time she dares open her fucking mouth to tell me how to spend. I told her 'I'll have to be careful spending, and it was hard to part with that much money in a day.' But it's adulting, and if they need help I'm willing to help. But for some damn reason she feels the need to helicopter me and yells at me for spending.

I'm telling you now, if she brings it up again I'm going to tell her off badly. And when ever I do that she gets all huffy and tells me 'We fine I won't bother giving you advice.'
Sometimes she gives good advice, but you ask once and she's all over you telling you want to do. Advice is meant to be taken in pieces not all at once! Or she won't even talk to me and when I carry on with my day she always gives me a glaring look when I talk to her.

WHAT IS IT WITH HER AND BEING A DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!

It's always 'I'm right your wrong.' even when I'm right and when I prove it to her she holds a grudge long enough to kill the horse 10 times over!

I'm typing this while she plays on Pogo and gritting my teeth to keep from telling her off. What she told me about how my mom is to get the groceries and passive aggressively telling me and her, with out my mom knowing, what is what... It doesn't sit well with me, yet she'll treat me like a child if I go and tell my mom what she said. And seeing as my grandmother raised me, I'm not sure what to do.

I shouldn't let her control me like this, but I'm still living under their roof. I'm afraid I'll say something and set her off... My grandfather wouldn't kick me out for that, but he knows of his wife's hypocrite ways, but can't do much about it himself. The tone and way she said it... it wasn't right and it makes me feel hurt for my mom and me, yet I don't have anyone to talk to it about except here...

I'm angry, uncertain, annoyed, and confused. Advice? Help?

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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02-05-2017, 10:27 PM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
Quote:WHAT IS IT WITH HER AND BEING A DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!


Has she ever been any different? Perhaps you are finally getting to the age where you are saying "enough is enough?"

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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02-05-2017, 10:31 PM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
(02-05-2017 10:27 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  
Quote:WHAT IS IT WITH HER AND BEING A DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!


Has she ever been any different? Perhaps you are finally getting to the age where you are saying "enough is enough?"

Thinking back on it... she was always the same. But since my shedding of the Evangelical statues and looking at it with new eyes... I can see the damage done, and I'm at the end of my rope because due to the 'Evil liberals' at my college, I know I was sheltered and my grandmother is over controlling.

In her mind, if I dared seek help, she'd proclaim innocent and claim my friends who are 'liberals' for 'brainwashing' me.

Heck one time she told me 'You can't tell them the stuff we do at home otherwise some people from foster care will arrest your daddy and me and send you into foster care.' when my dad took a belt to my butt or when he flung me across the room for talking back to him...

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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02-05-2017, 10:45 PM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
I'm very sorry to hear what you've gone through Sad Feel free to PM me if you need to talk Heart

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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02-05-2017, 11:01 PM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
How much does alcohol factor into their behavior?

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03-05-2017, 05:27 AM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
Why not leave as soon as you can find a friend or two willing to share the rent on a place of your own? Life as you describe it sounds like it is killing you with stress and stress can cause all sorts of physical and mental problems. Leave the toxic environment behind.

In the meantime, let it roll off you and concentrate on making your plans to leave. You can control how you react to the people who are ragging on you. When you give them the satisfaction of knowing they have gotten to you, it reinforces their behavior.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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03-05-2017, 05:58 AM (This post was last modified: 03-05-2017 06:04 AM by Brian37.)
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
(02-05-2017 09:40 PM)Ruby Crystal Wrote:  I'm about ready to snap at my grandmother and her 'brow beating' ways and hypocrite self. I normally can take it, but lately she is getting to be insufferable! Dodgy

I mean, I don't make much money, about a 1000 a month, however my mom normally gets the groceries. However my step dad bought a very expensive bike, and she needed some help getting them. I offered, sure I went form that to 500 in a day, then had to get me a knew bike as mine fell apart, so I have at least 400 for the month. Not all the horrible.

But my fucking god-damn grandmother wont' let it go. She's blaming my mom, and me for having to pick up the slack as 'She's the one whos suppose to get it and you help out with the odds and ends.'

Then goes right around, when i defend my mom, to say 'Don't tell her I told you this or I'll bust your tail.' I'm almost 19 and she still threatens me with a belt or swich!

I'm beyond over the edge, and ready to snap. I feel rage tick in my chest every time she dares open her fucking mouth to tell me how to spend. I told her 'I'll have to be careful spending, and it was hard to part with that much money in a day.' But it's adulting, and if they need help I'm willing to help. But for some damn reason she feels the need to helicopter me and yells at me for spending.

I'm telling you now, if she brings it up again I'm going to tell her off badly. And when ever I do that she gets all huffy and tells me 'We fine I won't bother giving you advice.'
Sometimes she gives good advice, but you ask once and she's all over you telling you want to do. Advice is meant to be taken in pieces not all at once! Or she won't even talk to me and when I carry on with my day she always gives me a glaring look when I talk to her.

WHAT IS IT WITH HER AND BEING A DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!

It's always 'I'm right your wrong.' even when I'm right and when I prove it to her she holds a grudge long enough to kill the horse 10 times over!

I'm typing this while she plays on Pogo and gritting my teeth to keep from telling her off. What she told me about how my mom is to get the groceries and passive aggressively telling me and her, with out my mom knowing, what is what... It doesn't sit well with me, yet she'll treat me like a child if I go and tell my mom what she said. And seeing as my grandmother raised me, I'm not sure what to do.

I shouldn't let her control me like this, but I'm still living under their roof. I'm afraid I'll say something and set her off... My grandfather wouldn't kick me out for that, but he knows of his wife's hypocrite ways, but can't do much about it himself. The tone and way she said it... it wasn't right and it makes me feel hurt for my mom and me, yet I don't have anyone to talk to it about except here...

I'm angry, uncertain, annoyed, and confused. Advice? Help?

The worst thing that breaks up relationships family, friends, or co workers is money. If you cannot afford it, don't do it. If you can afford it, be willing to accept you may not get it back. Always be clear that if they say they will pay you back, you can expect it. But, if you give them the money and know their history already, then you cant bitch. It is up to you what you do, but money between family and friends is more about communication skills, knowing absolutely what you expect and they expect and sticking to it.

Even outside the issue of money, COMMUNICATION skills should not be about blame or name calling, but listening and problem solving. Nobody has a right to drain you, either emotionally or financially. It is noble to want to help when you can, but if you cant, those who love you should be willing to hear no when you cant.

If you are frustrated, NEVER have a discussion when angry, calm down first, then get back to the person when you are calm, and try to get them to agree to a calm agreement to problems solve. Healthy relationships OF any kind allow each to be themselves but also listening and compromise and clear understanding and sticking to that understanding once the agreement is reached. Don't bring up the past, don't point fingers.

If you need to vent, do that here, keep a clear and calm head when you have to discuss things with them.

EXAMPLE

You, "I need your help so that we don't have this conflict again. This is what I would like to see. How do you think we should go about this to avoid this in the future? Then shut up and listen."

If they get loud are start name calling or threatening, simply walk away and say "I will be willing to talk to you when you are calm." Dont respond. If you repeat that it may take a few days or even months, but that individual will learn quickly that emotional drama wont work on you.

If someone is constantly shouting at you or threatening you that is not love, that is verbal abuse, and that is toxic. If it gets bad, even with a husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or mother or sister or dad, then it may be time for you to make plans to find another place to live.

You don't have to allow someone to use you as a doormat.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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03-05-2017, 11:44 AM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
Get out as soon as you can. The people you are living with are physically and emotionally abusive. They clearly know that what they're doing is wrong and likely illegal. I expect that you do too, but it's been your life for so long that it's what you've come to accept. You may end up living lean for a while but better that than life with these bastards.

So go ahead and snap. You've more than earned it. Just be smart about how you direct your anger. No point in blowing up at granny, she's clearly a waste of breath. She failed to protect her daughter and she failed to protect you. That's a whole lot of failure for one person. You can at least leave but she is forever stuck with her own miserable company.

Instead, let that anger push you out the door and down the road. Leave them to wallow in their misery and get on with your life.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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03-05-2017, 02:47 PM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
(03-05-2017 11:44 AM)Paleophyte Wrote:  Get out as soon as you can. The people you are living with are physically and emotionally abusive.

^^^ This. They are unhealthy for you to be around, and you owe them nothing.

Get out as fast as you can, as far away as you can, and block all channels for them to contact you so that they can't interfere with your life.

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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04-05-2017, 08:05 AM
RE: I'm VERY Close To Snapping
(02-05-2017 09:40 PM)Ruby Crystal Wrote:  I'm about ready to snap at my grandmother and her 'brow beating' ways and hypocrite self. I normally can take it, but lately she is getting to be insufferable! Dodgy

I mean, I don't make much money, about a 1000 a month, however my mom normally gets the groceries. However my step dad bought a very expensive bike, and she needed some help getting them. I offered, sure I went form that to 500 in a day, then had to get me a knew bike as mine fell apart, so I have at least 400 for the month. Not all the horrible.

But my fucking god-damn grandmother wont' let it go. She's blaming my mom, and me for having to pick up the slack as 'She's the one whos suppose to get it and you help out with the odds and ends.'

Then goes right around, when i defend my mom, to say 'Don't tell her I told you this or I'll bust your tail.' I'm almost 19 and she still threatens me with a belt or swich!

I'm beyond over the edge, and ready to snap. I feel rage tick in my chest every time she dares open her fucking mouth to tell me how to spend. I told her 'I'll have to be careful spending, and it was hard to part with that much money in a day.' But it's adulting, and if they need help I'm willing to help. But for some damn reason she feels the need to helicopter me and yells at me for spending.

I'm telling you now, if she brings it up again I'm going to tell her off badly. And when ever I do that she gets all huffy and tells me 'We fine I won't bother giving you advice.'
Sometimes she gives good advice, but you ask once and she's all over you telling you want to do. Advice is meant to be taken in pieces not all at once! Or she won't even talk to me and when I carry on with my day she always gives me a glaring look when I talk to her.

WHAT IS IT WITH HER AND BEING A DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!!!

It's always 'I'm right your wrong.' even when I'm right and when I prove it to her she holds a grudge long enough to kill the horse 10 times over!

I'm typing this while she plays on Pogo and gritting my teeth to keep from telling her off. What she told me about how my mom is to get the groceries and passive aggressively telling me and her, with out my mom knowing, what is what... It doesn't sit well with me, yet she'll treat me like a child if I go and tell my mom what she said. And seeing as my grandmother raised me, I'm not sure what to do.

I shouldn't let her control me like this, but I'm still living under their roof. I'm afraid I'll say something and set her off... My grandfather wouldn't kick me out for that, but he knows of his wife's hypocrite ways, but can't do much about it himself. The tone and way she said it... it wasn't right and it makes me feel hurt for my mom and me, yet I don't have anyone to talk to it about except here...

I'm angry, uncertain, annoyed, and confused. Advice? Help?

> My father always behaved like that, even after I returned from 2½ years in Vietnam. Finally, after one of his "episodes," I simply and calmly told him that I was no longer interested in his opinions and that if he continued making a pathetic ass of himself I would walk out of his life forever. It didn't stop him from being an occasional jerk, but it definitely deflated his ego and the violent confrontations lessened dramatically.
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