I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
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30-12-2013, 11:52 PM (This post was last modified: 30-12-2013 11:58 PM by Buddy Christ.)
I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
So let's say I fully believe that 6,000 years ago, a powerful space creature wished all of this into existence. The universe, earth, people, animals, Jeggings, trees, Saved by the Bell, pants, and tacos all poofed into existence over the span of one human week (using a Gregorian calendar). Then science (the methods we use to determine all our knowledge about life) confidently tells me that they have found several skulls, half-apelike and half-human, dating back over a million years. This immediately conflicts with my 6,000 year old universe belief. So I have two choices. Actually, let's make this into a choose your own adventure book.


[Choose to ignore all methods of scientific dating and cling to your 6,000 year old belief]


Your refusal to accept the validity of science begins to leak into other branches of science and snowballs out of control. You spend the rest of your days in a mental bubble, refusing to expand your mind or seek any truths to life's questions, sedating yourself by rocking back and forth, quietly whispering, "God did it" over and over until you die in a puddle of your own urine.

[Accept that maybe the universe is older than 6,000 years old]

You decide to bend a little on your firm beliefs. It's just a minor, inconsequential detail after all, based on human calculation of the timeline of the Bible. God created everything, but it was probably a much longer time ago.


Congratulations! You have changed your beliefs in accordance with the evidence presented to you! This is called rational thinking and it's what functioning people are known to do.

But uh-oh! Those annoying scientists are now claiming that the skulls belonged to our ancestors and that human beings didn't always look like this. That we actually looked similar to apes at one point and slowly evolved to become what we are. The skulls are evidence of this. Again, you have two choices.


[Ignore the claims of the scientists]

Human beings were created as we are now, so sayeth the book from heaven. Either those scientists are lying to propagate their atheist agenda or the skulls belonged to a hundred different apelike species, all of whom have gone extinct. This line of thinking fuels your conspiracy side and soon you decide that you can't trust anyone because they are all pushing an agenda. You dedicate the rooms of your house to proving all the great so-called conspiracies. Eventually the police find your dead body, which was electrocuted when your homemade satellite to contact the aliens surged through your tinfoil hat to keep the government from reading your thoughts.

[Accept the overwhelming evidence as fact]

Congrats! You're no longer a creationist! At best, you cling desperately to the idea that a deity created ape creatures millions of years ago, knowing full well they would evolve into humans. Eventually, you tire of the cognitive dissonance and join the rest of the civilized world in practical beliefs.


I tried. There's no branch of logic that ends with an intelligent creationist. I suppose that's why they always stress the Intelligent part on the deity doing the Designing... because it sure as shit ain't Intelligent Creation.

Seriously. There are fossils. We have them. They don't match anything still living. They look like humans with more primitive features. There is a pattern as the brains get bigger, the brows shrink, and the teeth become less animalistic. The only way I can argue my way out as a creationist is either 1. Human error/manipulation or 2. A bunch of different human/ape species existed at one point, then all went extinct. Both options require a bit of stupidity.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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31-12-2013, 12:35 AM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
But the unfortunate thing is you've ignored *unscrupulous* dicks who're not in it for the truth value but for what they can get.

The whole intelligent design thing is so successful because
a. they are saying something people want to hear. People have been growing up their whole lives being told they will live forever and *also* having a healthy indoctrination against people who say otherwise force-fed to them. Anyone who says the magic book is wrong in some minor detail is challenging the whole she-bang. So anyone who confidently says contrary to the nasty gorilla saying that the magic book is wrong is A-OK.
b. they work hard at obfuscating the truth. For this they should suffer some humourous punishment, such as having a dick tattooed on their face.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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31-12-2013, 01:41 AM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
BC, your problem here is that you're trying to reason like a creationist. That's semantically equivalent to trying to bellydance like an oyster.
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31-12-2013, 11:15 AM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(31-12-2013 01:41 AM)Paleophyte Wrote:  BC, your problem here is that you're trying to reason like a creationist. That's semantically equivalent to trying to bellydance like an oyster.

well said Smile
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31-12-2013, 11:45 AM (This post was last modified: 31-12-2013 11:50 AM by Buddy Christ.)
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(31-12-2013 01:41 AM)Paleophyte Wrote:  BC, your problem here is that you're trying to reason like a creationist. That's semantically equivalent to trying to bellydance like an oyster.

Are you suggesting that oysters are notoriously adept bellydancers?

Creationists are technically still people. People have relatively similar brain functions. Where is the disconnect in their thought process? Did childhood indoctrination throw a wrench in the gears and they're left with a mangled machine? Some of us had wrenched thrown in and we survived. Is it the same mentality that causes a Chicago Cubs fan to honestly proclaim that his team is the best team in the history of baseball?

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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31-12-2013, 12:03 PM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
So now I'm a scientifically literate ape...

Still going to die in a puddle of my urine.
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31-12-2013, 12:07 PM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(30-12-2013 11:52 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Your refusal to accept the validity of science begins to leak into other branches of science and snowballs out of control. You spend the rest of your days in a mental bubble, refusing to expand your mind or seek any truths to life's questions, sedating yourself by rocking back and forth, quietly whispering, "God did it" over and over until you die in a puddle of your own urine.

A creationist is usually brought up and raised as a creationist. Their religious beliefs don't have to mean that they're morons and can't "expand their minds" or "seek any truths." A bit of a misrepresentation.

“The only reason people do not know much is because they do not care to know. They are incurious. Incuriousity is the oddest and most foolish failing there is.” -Stephen Fry
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31-12-2013, 12:27 PM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(30-12-2013 11:52 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  ..................Both options require a bit of stupidity.

Now had you started with this, the rest would have been unneccessary. Smile

Actually I do agree with your reasoning.

"Which is more likely: that the whole natural order is suspended, or that a jewish minx should tell a lie?"- David Hume
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31-12-2013, 12:29 PM (This post was last modified: 31-12-2013 01:00 PM by anonymous66.)
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(30-12-2013 11:52 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  So let's say I fully believe that 6,000 years ago, a powerful space creature wished all of this into existence. The universe, earth, people, animals, Jeggings, trees, Saved by the Bell, pants, and tacos all poofed into existence over the span of one human week (using a Gregorian calendar). Then science (the methods we use to determine all our knowledge about life) confidently tells me that they have found several skulls, half-apelike and half-human, dating back over a million years. This immediately conflicts with my 6,000 year old universe belief. So I have two choices. Actually, let's make this into a choose your own adventure book.


[Choose to ignore all methods of scientific dating and cling to your 6,000 year old belief]


Your refusal to accept the validity of science begins to leak into other branches of science and snowballs out of control. You spend the rest of your days in a mental bubble, refusing to expand your mind or seek any truths to life's questions, sedating yourself by rocking back and forth, quietly whispering, "God did it" over and over until you die in a puddle of your own urine.

[Accept that maybe the universe is older than 6,000 years old]

You decide to bend a little on your firm beliefs. It's just a minor, inconsequential detail after all, based on human calculation of the timeline of the Bible. God created everything, but it was probably a much longer time ago.


Congratulations! You have changed your beliefs in accordance with the evidence presented to you! This is called rational thinking and it's what functioning people are known to do.

But uh-oh! Those annoying scientists are now claiming that the skulls belonged to our ancestors and that human beings didn't always look like this. That we actually looked similar to apes at one point and slowly evolved to become what we are. The skulls are evidence of this. Again, you have two choices.


[Ignore the claims of the scientists]

Human beings were created as we are now, so sayeth the book from heaven. Either those scientists are lying to propagate their atheist agenda or the skulls belonged to a hundred different apelike species, all of whom have gone extinct. This line of thinking fuels your conspiracy side and soon you decide that you can't trust anyone because they are all pushing an agenda. You dedicate the rooms of your house to proving all the great so-called conspiracies. Eventually the police find your dead body, which was electrocuted when your homemade satellite to contact the aliens surged through your tinfoil hat to keep the government from reading your thoughts.

[Accept the overwhelming evidence as fact]

Congrats! You're no longer a creationist! At best, you cling desperately to the idea that a deity created ape creatures millions of years ago, knowing full well they would evolve into humans. Eventually, you tire of the cognitive dissonance and join the rest of the civilized world in practical beliefs.


I tried. There's no branch of logic that ends with an intelligent creationist. I suppose that's why they always stress the Intelligent part on the deity doing the Designing... because it sure as shit ain't Intelligent Creation.

Seriously. There are fossils. We have them. They don't match anything still living. They look like humans with more primitive features. There is a pattern as the brains get bigger, the brows shrink, and the teeth become less animalistic. The only way I can argue my way out as a creationist is either 1. Human error/manipulation or 2. A bunch of different human/ape species existed at one point, then all went extinct. Both options require a bit of stupidity.

I'm a former fundamentalist (now atheist), and I can say I was definitely indoctrinated. However, don't underestimate the ability of YEC's to function perfectly well in our society. My dad is a YEC, and owns his own computer repair business. The people I knew in our church were nurses, Xerox repairmen, accountants, high school teachers, doctors, etc etc. I still hear about the families of those in my fundamentalist YEC church. They are raising kids who become nurses and military pilots, to name a few professions. You'd never know about their odd beliefs unless you really got to know them.
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31-12-2013, 04:22 PM
RE: I'm a creationist. Now let me try to rationalize evolution.
(30-12-2013 11:52 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  Seriously. There are fossils. We have them.






Lewis Black Wrote:Whenever anybody tries to tell me that they believe it took place in seven days, I reach for a fossil and go 'fossil!', and if they keep talking I throw it just over their head.

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