I'm afraid of dying?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
29-01-2016, 03:23 PM
I'm afraid of dying?
Hey guys, it's been a minute since I've been on here. The holidays had me super crazy busy, but thing have been going well for the most part. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on here, but I have suffered from anxiety since I was about 17 years old, I'm now 20. My anxiety really reared it's ugly head when I was in college and in a really bad relationship with someone for almost 5 years. Luckily, I'm in a healthier relationship now but my anxiety still affects me. And lately it's been a little worse than it was for awhile. Last night I had a terrible dream that my partner was going to die in 2 weeks, I can't remember why but I remember in my dream I was constantly fearing that he was going to die at any point. The truth is, my great grandmother had cancer when I was 12 years old, I remember seeing her at her highest point, to her lowest, when she was in hospice and she was barely responsive. I remember the whole vibe of that place, it just smelled like death and misery, granted it was a really nice hospice for people that have a really good income.
But I believe that's really where my health anxiety started, even though my anxiety wasn't insane yet, I was battling depression. I'm afraid of dying, I know everyone is going to at some point, but it freaks me out and I don't know how to get past this. It's also the illness part that scares me as well, dying from an illness like cancer or something else terrible, just the thought of that raises my anxiety. I know I really have no basis for this, I've been a pretty healthy person my whole life. I even go out of my way to try and eat pretty healthy, organic, no processed foods blah blah blah. But I need to figure out how to get past this. Any advice?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 03:32 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
I wish I had advice for you. Only thing I can offer is empathy. The whole dying thing scares the shit outta me too. Not to be confused with "being dead", the whole process of dying, whether it's a car accident or cancer, is something that can elicit some serious anxiety for me.

I do know one thing though...sometimes you can share the fear and it makes it more bearable. I'll hold your hand and be afraid of the dark with you if you like.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Stark Raving's post
29-01-2016, 03:53 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Tricky ... because you know it's an irrational fear (due to the inevitability) but are allowing yourself to succumb to it anyway.

So I guess its a mindset thing?

There's was another thread recently about facing one's fears through action. So what actions can one take?

Perhaps greater exposure to the dying process? There was a Channel 4 documentary on the death process some years ago (including seeing an old guy's last breath) but I don't know if that would help.

Perhaps visiting / helping out at a hospice and living through it with someone who is dying? Gonna be emotional but it might help to be with people who have come to terms with death and are willing to talk about it.

Personally, I have a very pragmatic view of the whole thing, so I have nothing to give, really. Sorry.
I'm trying to remember how or when that happened ... maybe when I was around 10 or so ... I think I just decided, "WTF, shit happens" ... took a deep breath ... got on with life. Or something like that.

Since then, I've always had the attitude of: why worry about something over which I have no control.

Oh! Another thing. I have an Aussie friend who said she wanted to die in a plane crash because she'll have a few minutes to think about all the great things that happened in her life and then ... it's done.

The moral to that story is that it's obviously important to fill your life with great moments.

And you have no time for that if instead your life has been spent worrying about dying.

The dream indicates that you have something (someone) great in your life that (who) you do not want to lose... something / someone worth living for.

That tells you something. Right?

Hug

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 04:21 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Hi

I'm so sorry you have anxiety about this. I think it is a common fear in the back of most people's minds. I think if it is impacting your life to the point where the anxiety is becoming obsessive and taking over your ability to enjoy life, it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about all of this. When thoughts come to the point of obsession there is generally some catalyst behind it. Talking to a therapist may help you pinpoint where the overwhelming anxiety is coming from.

The other thing I would suggest is yoga because it teaches you breathing techniques and natural relaxation techniques that really help with stress and anxiety. The poses wring out stress and tension and help balance out your body re: anxious feelings/stress. Meditation can also be helpful in calming your thoughts/mind.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
29-01-2016, 04:22 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
I started a thread about death not too long ago.

I am, and will probably always be, afraid of dying/death. The idea is repulsive and terrible. But fear of dying shouldn't be confused with paranoia that you might be killed at any moment. I have no such fear because it is irrational to expect that in my current environment.

It's hard to give advice because we all work/think differently. I personally might try distraction or logic to get past it. Distraction, as in, try to stay relatively busy until these fears die down (I used this strategy during mourning and it worked pretty well). Logic, as in, try to think of the chances that you might die given your daily life. Or if you are afraid of natural disasters of something, what are the chances of those killing you? Even-more, what are the chances that if it did happen, worrying about it beforehand would have changed your chances of survival? When I get on a plane, sometimes I have to (repeatedly) remind myself of the statistics of crashed planes because every time I board I feel like I'm walking into a death trap.

Like I said, I don't know if these will help you at all, but it's the best I've got. For now.

Hope you feel better.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 04:38 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
I understand, I'm somewhat fearful of it myself. Not so much the being dead as much as the actual dying. Will it be painful? Will I be alone? Will I be scared? These things worry me sometimes. I try not to think of it. I know it's hard but you can train yourself to distract yourself when you over focus.

I don't know if you've had any counseling but you could try that to see if they had some stress and anxiety relieving techniques you could do. I have anxiety occasionally and I usually try to get myself absorbed into something time consuming, cards, online games, reading, crafts, sewing, painting or writing. It helps.

Exercise can be a good stress reliever as well. Sex (you said you had a partner) can help or hinder depending. The sex is a mood lifter but the endorphin/hormone crash can be depressing if you're susceptible to it. If you often feel sad an hour or few after sex or irritable, then you may be one of those that suffers from that kind of hormone drop. If you feel happy and content afterwards, then it could be an answer for a mood lifter.

But all in all I would at least get a check up. It could even be an imbalance of some kind. Thyroid imbalances can do that and some others as well.

I hope you figure it out and get to feeling better soon. Smile

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 04:42 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
I just found a post I was looking for written by another TTA-er named iBananya. She hasn't been on TTA in awhile, but I really like what she wrote and I always remembered it. I just did a search and found it for you.

The following written by iBananya.

The easiest for me was just to realize what an amazing thing life is. Life is precious because it ends. That sounds really... weird, but it's true. If it didn't end, if we didn't lose people, if moments could last forever, the meaning would be greatly reduced. One thing that really helped me through losing my mother was a quote from Dawkins (like him or not):

“We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?”

For me, there's just so much meaning in thinking of it that way. We are incredibly lucky to even exist. We are incredibly lucky to have even brief moments in the sun with people we love. For me, it makes it impossible to feel too sad that they left... Rather it makes me want to celebrate the fact that they existed, that I exist, that I had the chance to know them, and it just makes me want to celebrate what a wonderful thing that is.

There's no easy way to cope. It hurts to lose someone. It hurts to realize that the last time we had with them, was the last time we'll ever have with them. It's hard to grasp that every time we speak with a person, whether we depart this life or they do, it could easily be the last moment we'll ever share. But for me that is countered or at the very least balanced by remembering how lucky we are and how beautiful it is that we are here at all.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like jennybee's post
29-01-2016, 04:45 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Of course fear of dying is natural. If we didn't evolve with it we wouldn't look both ways before crossing a busy street. Where humans go wrong is assigning either the good or bad to magic. I fear prolonged pain. I fear missing my loved ones and them missing me. I do not fear a fictional afterlife anymore than I fear what life was like before I was born.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 04:50 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Listening to others as far as medicine/psychology might be very good. I haven't been to any sort of doctor in about a decade so I'm not so good on that form of advice Tongue.

This video can be helpful if you fall into the camp that believes you can diminish your fear of death by realizing a meaningful life or realizing the fact that you will never experience the state of being dead (or that you are insignificant in the grand scheme of things).

Afterlife, Seth and company.



I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Adrianime's post
29-01-2016, 05:17 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 03:23 PM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  Hey guys, it's been a minute since I've been on here. The holidays had me super crazy busy, but thing have been going well for the most part. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on here, but I have suffered from anxiety since I was about 17 years old, I'm now 20. My anxiety really reared it's ugly head when I was in college and in a really bad relationship with someone for almost 5 years. Luckily, I'm in a healthier relationship now but my anxiety still affects me. And lately it's been a little worse than it was for awhile. Last night I had a terrible dream that my partner was going to die in 2 weeks, I can't remember why but I remember in my dream I was constantly fearing that he was going to die at any point. The truth is, my great grandmother had cancer when I was 12 years old, I remember seeing her at her highest point, to her lowest, when she was in hospice and she was barely responsive. I remember the whole vibe of that place, it just smelled like death and misery, granted it was a really nice hospice for people that have a really good income.
But I believe that's really where my health anxiety started, even though my anxiety wasn't insane yet, I was battling depression. I'm afraid of dying, I know everyone is going to at some point, but it freaks me out and I don't know how to get past this. It's also the illness part that scares me as well, dying from an illness like cancer or something else terrible, just the thought of that raises my anxiety. I know I really have no basis for this, I've been a pretty healthy person my whole life. I even go out of my way to try and eat pretty healthy, organic, no processed foods blah blah blah. But I need to figure out how to get past this. Any advice?

At 20 years old, your survival instinct should be very high and you should be scared of death. It's how the species survives. People of child bearing and child rearing age need to be afraid of death.

Everyone is scared of being ill, even those who are much older and don't fear death so much anymore.

But, somehow with you I get the feeling that this is more about a fear of loss or being left...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Dom's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: