I'm afraid of dying?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
29-01-2016, 08:01 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Anxiety runs in my family. I remember when I was 19 and I would fear a small meteor smashing through my car window and killing me. I also was convinced I wouldn't make it to 21. Why? I had a recurring dream for years where I would die in a car accident. It was always on the same stretch of road, the same corner, the same result. The only thing I knew was that I was under 21. I am 36 now and haven't had that dream in a very, very long time.

I am with Stark, it's not being dead that scares me, it's the dying process. That is something that religion never seemed to help make me feel better.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes The Organic Chemist's post
29-01-2016, 10:00 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 05:17 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(29-01-2016 03:23 PM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  Hey guys, it's been a minute since I've been on here. The holidays had me super crazy busy, but thing have been going well for the most part. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on here, but I have suffered from anxiety since I was about 17 years old, I'm now 20. My anxiety really reared it's ugly head when I was in college and in a really bad relationship with someone for almost 5 years. Luckily, I'm in a healthier relationship now but my anxiety still affects me. And lately it's been a little worse than it was for awhile. Last night I had a terrible dream that my partner was going to die in 2 weeks, I can't remember why but I remember in my dream I was constantly fearing that he was going to die at any point. The truth is, my great grandmother had cancer when I was 12 years old, I remember seeing her at her highest point, to her lowest, when she was in hospice and she was barely responsive. I remember the whole vibe of that place, it just smelled like death and misery, granted it was a really nice hospice for people that have a really good income.
But I believe that's really where my health anxiety started, even though my anxiety wasn't insane yet, I was battling depression. I'm afraid of dying, I know everyone is going to at some point, but it freaks me out and I don't know how to get past this. It's also the illness part that scares me as well, dying from an illness like cancer or something else terrible, just the thought of that raises my anxiety. I know I really have no basis for this, I've been a pretty healthy person my whole life. I even go out of my way to try and eat pretty healthy, organic, no processed foods blah blah blah. But I need to figure out how to get past this. Any advice?

At 20 years old, your survival instinct should be very high and you should be scared of death. It's how the species survives. People of child bearing and child rearing age need to be afraid of death.

Everyone is scared of being ill, even those who are much older and don't fear death so much anymore.

But, somehow with you I get the feeling that this is more about a fear of loss or being left...

Can you please explain what you mean when you say a fear of loss or being left?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 10:01 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 08:01 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Anxiety runs in my family. I remember when I was 19 and I would fear a small meteor smashing through my car window and killing me. I also was convinced I wouldn't make it to 21. Why? I had a recurring dream for years where I would die in a car accident. It was always on the same stretch of road, the same corner, the same result. The only thing I knew was that I was under 21. I am 36 now and haven't had that dream in a very, very long time.

I am with Stark, it's not being dead that scares me, it's the dying process. That is something that religion never seemed to help make me feel better.

I think everyone is correct about me being more afraid of the dying process. If dying was just dying then I don't think there would be this anxiety, it's not the fear of no longer being on this earth, it's the process of dying because there is a process.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like xastrogasmx's post
29-01-2016, 10:02 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 03:32 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  I wish I had advice for you. Only thing I can offer is empathy. The whole dying thing scares the shit outta me too. Not to be confused with "being dead", the whole process of dying, whether it's a car accident or cancer, is something that can elicit some serious anxiety for me.

I do know one thing though...sometimes you can share the fear and it makes it more bearable. I'll hold your hand and be afraid of the dark with you if you like.

I would love that, thanks for your support, I don't think you realize how much that means to meHeart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes xastrogasmx's post
29-01-2016, 10:04 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 03:53 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Tricky ... because you know it's an irrational fear (due to the inevitability) but are allowing yourself to succumb to it anyway.

So I guess its a mindset thing?

There's was another thread recently about facing one's fears through action. So what actions can one take?

Perhaps greater exposure to the dying process? There was a Channel 4 documentary on the death process some years ago (including seeing an old guy's last breath) but I don't know if that would help.

Perhaps visiting / helping out at a hospice and living through it with someone who is dying? Gonna be emotional but it might help to be with people who have come to terms with death and are willing to talk about it.

Personally, I have a very pragmatic view of the whole thing, so I have nothing to give, really. Sorry.
I'm trying to remember how or when that happened ... maybe when I was around 10 or so ... I think I just decided, "WTF, shit happens" ... took a deep breath ... got on with life. Or something like that.

Since then, I've always had the attitude of: why worry about something over which I have no control.

Oh! Another thing. I have an Aussie friend who said she wanted to die in a plane crash because she'll have a few minutes to think about all the great things that happened in her life and then ... it's done.

The moral to that story is that it's obviously important to fill your life with great moments.

And you have no time for that if instead your life has been spent worrying about dying.

The dream indicates that you have something (someone) great in your life that (who) you do not want to lose... something / someone worth living for.

That tells you something. Right?

Hug

I don't know if helping out at a hospice would increase my anxiety or lower it. I feel like it could go either way. i think I'm more afraid of the dying process, it's not really death...it's just the process that comes with that. I mean, I witnessed it.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 10:06 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 04:21 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Hi

I'm so sorry you have anxiety about this. I think it is a common fear in the back of most people's minds. I think if it is impacting your life to the point where the anxiety is becoming obsessive and taking over your ability to enjoy life, it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about all of this. When thoughts come to the point of obsession there is generally some catalyst behind it. Talking to a therapist may help you pinpoint where the overwhelming anxiety is coming from.

The other thing I would suggest is yoga because it teaches you breathing techniques and natural relaxation techniques that really help with stress and anxiety. The poses wring out stress and tension and help balance out your body re: anxious feelings/stress. Meditation can also be helpful in calming your thoughts/mind.

I've actually really wanted to start doing yoga, I know that it does wonders for anxiety and your body. The anxiety isn't obsessive but it's enough, where sometimes I'm not happy because of it.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes xastrogasmx's post
29-01-2016, 10:07 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 04:22 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I started a thread about death not too long ago.

I am, and will probably always be, afraid of dying/death. The idea is repulsive and terrible. But fear of dying shouldn't be confused with paranoia that you might be killed at any moment. I have no such fear because it is irrational to expect that in my current environment.

It's hard to give advice because we all work/think differently. I personally might try distraction or logic to get past it. Distraction, as in, try to stay relatively busy until these fears die down (I used this strategy during mourning and it worked pretty well). Logic, as in, try to think of the chances that you might die given your daily life. Or if you are afraid of natural disasters of something, what are the chances of those killing you? Even-more, what are the chances that if it did happen, worrying about it beforehand would have changed your chances of survival? When I get on a plane, sometimes I have to (repeatedly) remind myself of the statistics of crashed planes because every time I board I feel like I'm walking into a death trap.

Like I said, I don't know if these will help you at all, but it's the best I've got. For now.

Hope you feel better.

I'm actually not in fear of being killed instantly by a natural disaster or something like that, for some reason that's not that scary to me. I think it's more of the death process part.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
29-01-2016, 10:08 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 04:50 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Listening to others as far as medicine/psychology might be very good. I haven't been to any sort of doctor in about a decade so I'm not so good on that form of advice Tongue.

This video can be helpful if you fall into the camp that believes you can diminish your fear of death by realizing a meaningful life or realizing the fact that you will never experience the state of being dead (or that you are insignificant in the grand scheme of things).

Afterlife, Seth and company.



Thank you for the video and support, I will watch it!!!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-02-2016, 03:26 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
Along with youth comes a strong sense of self preservation. Towards the end of life, death can be welcoming to the people who've lived with long term chronic pain. As for your dream, it may mean that you feel out of control in the relationship, a tiff perhaps? Dreams have nothing to do with reality, they are composed of tidbits that is within the brain and often don't make sense.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Takelababy's post
24-02-2016, 04:23 PM
RE: I'm afraid of dying?
(29-01-2016 10:00 PM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  
(29-01-2016 05:17 PM)Dom Wrote:  At 20 years old, your survival instinct should be very high and you should be scared of death. It's how the species survives. People of child bearing and child rearing age need to be afraid of death.

Everyone is scared of being ill, even those who are much older and don't fear death so much anymore.

But, somehow with you I get the feeling that this is more about a fear of loss or being left...

Can you please explain what you mean when you say a fear of loss or being left?

Sorry I can't, I don't know you and have no idea what losses you fear or who has left you, or who you may be afraid would leave you.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: