I'm at a loss
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28-06-2016, 11:26 AM
I'm at a loss
As many of you already know, I moved from Germany to the Czech Republic towards the end of last year for work-related reasons. I haven't been back since then, but I was going to book a train towards home to pay my parents and my brothers a visit on my birthday in a couple days. Then yesterday, I received devastating news from my mother. She told me that one of my older brothers tried to commit suicide. She said that he slit his wrists and that one of his neighbors found him and called an ambulance before he could bleed out. He's in a mental hospital right now and they're keeping him restrained so that he can't try to hurt himself again. My parents paid him a visit earlier today and were told that he's being mistreated by the staff there. The staff informed my parents that he will be kept there for the next three weeks at the very least. We're planning to ask a family friend for legal advice because we currently don't have any way to get him to a better place to receive help.

He disappeared without a trace about two weeks ago and back then I was already worried that he had hurt himself. He turned up again a couple days later without bothering to explain to anyone what happened. I tried to understand what's wrong but he kept dodging any questions about what happened and about how he's feeling. I told him that I'll be there for him if he needs me and that he only needs to ask if he requires my help. Anyway, after my mother told me about all this, I changed my plans and wanted to depart to Germany immediately, but then she informed me that my suicidal brother wanted her to tell me and my other brother that he doesn't want us to visit him. I've been told that he doesn't have his phone right now so the only way I can contact him is with a letter. I just don't know what to write. My mother gave me a few suggestions, but I think that hearing the same old platitudes would just make everything worse for him.

I don't know why he would do this. He seemed to be okay when I last talked to him. I don't know what to do. How can I help my dear brother? How can I stop him from attempting the same thing again in a location where nobody will find him in time? How do I save him from himself? I don't want to lose my big brother. He means so much to me. He's just 23 years old, he can't die this young. Sadcryface

Just a few hours ago, my mother received these pictures from the neighbor who found him (warning: blood). My stomach dropped when I looked at them. I just feel so sad. Why would my sweet brother do this to himself? Sadcryface2


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28-06-2016, 11:30 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
I am here for you, Vosur. Hug

☆☆☆
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28-06-2016, 11:32 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Hug

Sadcryface

Heart

Hug

Thinking good thoughts your way. Is all I can do from here. Hope your brother's being treated as well as an be.

Hug
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28-06-2016, 11:33 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Well, tying him to a bed for weeks isn't going to do a lot to lift his spirits and change his mind, that's for sure.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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28-06-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Vos...I am going to shoot straight...please take it in the spirit it's offered.

First, the pictures are a little hard to judge. It may have been a less than full-blown attempt at suicide. Still, he needs help.

Second, and I have been through this with Mommy Dearest, one of the quickest ways to get out of psych ward when you have done something stupid is to scream abuse.

She was known for staging a 'suicide attempt', getting hauled to ER, then transferred to psych against her wishes. Once there she had to figure out a way out.

I am sorry if I am totally off base but when I read your post it was like a flashback for me. Mom didn't use knives though...usually pills, and a couple time rubbing alcohol and milk cocktails.

Whatever it turns out to be I am sorry your family has been stunned and rattled by this.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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28-06-2016, 11:55 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
So sorry, Vosur Hug I hope your brother gets the help he needs.
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28-06-2016, 12:22 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
(28-06-2016 11:26 AM)Vosur Wrote:  As many of you already know, I moved from Germany to the Czech Republic towards the end of last year for work-related reasons. I haven't been back since then, but I was going to book a train towards home to pay my parents and my brothers a visit on my birthday in a couple days. Then yesterday, I received devastating news from my mother. She told me that one of my older brothers tried to commit suicide. She said that he slit his wrists and that one of his neighbors found him and called an ambulance before he could bleed out. He's in a mental hospital right now and they're keeping him restrained so that he can't try to hurt himself again. My parents paid him a visit earlier today and were told that he's being mistreated by the staff there. The staff informed my parents that he will be kept there for the next three weeks at the very least. We're planning to ask a family friend for legal advice because we currently don't have any way to get him to a better place to receive help.

He disappeared without a trace about two weeks ago and back then I was already worried that he had hurt himself. He turned up again a couple days later without bothering to explain to anyone what happened. I tried to understand what's wrong but he kept dodging any questions about what happened and about how he's feeling. I told him that I'll be there for him if he needs me and that he only needs to ask if he requires my help. Anyway, after my mother told me about all this, I changed my plans and wanted to depart to Germany immediately, but then she informed me that my suicidal brother wanted her to tell me and my other brother that he doesn't want us to visit him. I've been told that he doesn't have his phone right now so the only way I can contact him is with a letter. I just don't know what to write. My mother gave me a few suggestions, but I think that hearing the same old platitudes would just make everything worse for him.

I don't know why he would do this. He seemed to be okay when I last talked to him. I don't know what to do. How can I help my dear brother? How can I stop him from attempting the same thing again in a location where nobody will find him in time? How do I save him from himself? I don't want to lose my big brother. He means so much to me. He's just 23 years old, he can't die this young. Sadcryface

Just a few hours ago, my mother received these pictures from the neighbor who found him (warning: blood). My stomach dropped when I looked at them. I just feel so sad. Why would my sweet brother do this to himself? Sadcryface2

You can't save him from himself. But I think you already know that.
I'm worried about you Vos. You can't take his pain as your own.

As far as the 'abuse' remember, he's in a place he obviously doesn't want to be and his plans were thwarted. He's could be pissed, embarrassed and lashing out.

If you need to talk, you know how to find me.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-06-2016, 12:25 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
(28-06-2016 11:26 AM)Vosur Wrote:  I just don't know what to write.

"I love you, brother." should suffice.

(28-06-2016 11:26 AM)Vosur Wrote:  How do I save him from himself?

I honestly don't think you can, Vosur. I don't think he can. All I think I could do in your position is trust the witch doctors and their pharmaceutical cocktails. Despite their lack of rigorous diagnostic tools like blood tests, they do save lives.

Thinking of you BrotherMan.

#sigh
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28-06-2016, 12:48 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
Vosur,

First of all I’m deeply saddened to hear this.

I have but one experience with this sort of thing and it ended well but going through it was agonizing.

My mother went through a severe case of depression during which she tried to kill herself several times, once with an overdose and the other with a knife. I think the instance with a knife was a half-hearted attempt as I think your brother’s might have been...more of a cry for help. Just a possibility to consider.

After years of psych treatment she overcame her depression and is now a well functioning human being (aside that she still believes in god).

If you know where your brother is maybe you and your other sibling can pay him a visit even though he says he doesn’t want to see you. You want to see him and you should go.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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28-06-2016, 12:55 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
Sorry to see this. You've already gotten good advice, I have none better to offer. Stay strong.
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