I'm at a loss
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28-06-2016, 04:45 PM (This post was last modified: 28-06-2016 05:44 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I'm at a loss
I give you this, Vosur. Might not help your brother but it might help you. It helps me.






“The absurd man will not commit suicide; he wants to live, without relinquishing any of his certainty, without a future, without hope, without illusions … and without resignation either. He stares at death with passionate attention and this fascination liberates him. He experiences the “divine irresponsibility” of the condemned man.” - Sartre

"It doesn't matter how monetarily successful you become in your life. All that stuff's irrelevant. What matters is how you treat the people in front of you." - Dude who jumped off the motherfucking Golden Gate Bridge

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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28-06-2016, 05:23 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
There's good advice above which essentially conveys my own feelings about this.

I wish him, you, and your family the best, and hope he gets good treatment, both physical and emotional, to ensure his healing.
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28-06-2016, 08:43 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
Very sorry to hear about this Sad I think the others gave excellent advice. Wishing you and your brother the best.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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28-06-2016, 10:17 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
Sorry to hear this Vos. I agree that a letter with "I love you" and "I will always be here for you" is a great way for him to hang onto something. Hopefully, he will open up and let you into his mind.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-06-2016, 07:41 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Well, I'm really sorry about your situation, Vosur. I've never found myself in something like this, so take what I say the way you want, but if it was me, I'd go pay him a visit. The letter is not a bad idea but I'd still go. I just couldn't stay away if it was my brother.

You can choose about the how, but I think letting him know that you're there for him would mean a lot, and even if he says that he doesn't want visits, doesn't mean that he really doesn't. And while I don't know your relationship with your brothers, I think that in such a relationship, you need to stick with them no matter how much they say they don't.

Maybe he doesn't want you to visit him because he doesn't want to face you in this moment, if he did, he would have to face the situation with someone else, someone he loves and that's tough. But I think it's the moment where he needs you the most.

Hope everything goes well and I wish him the best.

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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29-06-2016, 10:52 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
My thoughts are with you mate. And please take good care of "you" as well.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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02-07-2016, 03:22 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Thank you all for your support and the words of advice. I appreciate it a lot. I let my brother know that I love him and that I'm there for him and then yesterday he finally reached out to me. I got a chance to talk to him on the phone for a few minutes and he confirmed what some of you already suspected, that he simply wished to hurt, rather than kill himself. He also said that I can come to visit him. I'm on my way to Germany right now and will be keeping him company over the weekend. Wish me luck.

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02-07-2016, 03:36 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
Sounds like great news to me. I'm hopeful that things will get better from here. Good luck!

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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02-07-2016, 04:07 AM
RE: I'm at a loss
(02-07-2016 03:22 AM)Vosur Wrote:  Thank you all for your support and the words of advice. I appreciate it a lot. I let my brother know that I love him and that I'm there for him and then yesterday he finally reached out to me. I got a chance to talk to him on the phone for a few minutes and he confirmed what some of you already suspected, that he simply wished to hurt, rather than kill himself. He also said that I can come to visit him. I'm on my way to Germany right now and will be keeping him company over the weekend. Wish me luck.

That's very good news. I suggest mostly just being there for him and following his lead in exploring his feelings and motivations, hopes and purposes.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-07-2016, 12:02 PM
RE: I'm at a loss
It was so good to see him again. I got a chance to give him a big hug and an opportunity to remind him that his little brother loves him very much. We ended playing ping pong for a while and a few rounds of Yu-Gi-Oh with cards that we collected way back during our childhood. He didn't talk much about how his feelings and I managed to resist the temptation of asking him. He simply talked about the crazy inmates he has to deal with on a daily basis and we joked and laughed about how he's a little bit like Jack Nicholson in the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." I feel much better now.

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