I'm falling apart a little bit.
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24-11-2014, 12:00 AM
I'm falling apart a little bit.
Stupid anniversaries!

I always think they're so dumb, and then they come along and I am not okay.

This year is worse. I don't know if it's because I had an extremely shitty year with my life being flipped and discarded like it was, but I am not coping well. I've picked up the pieces really well and am honestly better off and even happier in a lot of ways- but not this week- tomorrow is on the horizon Sad I'm just not doing well. It's the death anniversary of my best friend and I find myself not comfortable in my own skin and mind. I've always been proud of my mind. If emotional health and stress management were an olympic sport I'd have the gold medal… but not yesterday, not today and I am thinking not tomorrow at all. I don't want to wake up and live through tomorrow. (Not meaning to sound suicidal- I just mean I'd much rather skip to Tuesday and be on with it).

Fucking life sometimes! Bitch.
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24-11-2014, 12:02 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
I'd like to go to Andromeda for the day.
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24-11-2014, 12:14 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
Hug

[Image: tumblr_mgzjf8zSfJ1qgibpgo1_500.gif]

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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24-11-2014, 12:17 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
(24-11-2014 12:00 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  Stupid anniversaries!

I always think they're so dumb, and then they come along and I am not okay.

This year is worse. I don't know if it's because I had an extremely shitty year with my life being flipped and discarded like it was, but I am not coping well. I've picked up the pieces really well and am honestly better off and even happier in a lot of ways- but not this week- tomorrow is on the horizon Sad I'm just not doing well. It's the death anniversary of my best friend and I find myself not comfortable in my own skin and mind. I've always been proud of my mind. If emotional health and stress management were an olympic sport I'd have the gold medal… but not yesterday, not today and I am thinking not tomorrow at all. I don't want to wake up and live through tomorrow. (Not meaning to sound suicidal- I just mean I'd much rather skip to Tuesday and be on with it).

Fucking life sometimes! Bitch.

Life is a bitch sometimes. Sometimes I'm a bitch right back at life. And by sometimes I mean usually. And by bitch I mean raging asshole. It's posts like these that make me want to stop being an asshole at least for a little while and hug my family. They are pretty good people and I'd be less without them.

I'm sorry for your circumstances but I'm thankful for the reminder. If there's anything I can help with let me know and it will be done. Within reason. Don't get weird.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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24-11-2014, 12:22 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
Sorry LJ Sad Sending you lots of hugs. Hug

Death sucks. I hate it...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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24-11-2014, 12:23 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
Hug

All I got, hope you make it through better than you expect. Hang in there LJ.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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24-11-2014, 07:01 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
Sorry to hear you are hurting LJ. Those things get a bit easier over time but never seem to go away.

Made an appointment Saturday and when the lady said, "How about December 20th?", I said okay but felt a twinge inside. That's the 30th anniversary of my first husband's death. I don't go into the funk that I used to but it's still there.

Just know that the day will pass. When the memories come make them of the good things in her life not her death.

And know it's gets easier but it is true that it's time that heals that wound.

Hugs.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-11-2014, 07:10 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
{{{LadyJane}}} Sorry you're struggling.

A good friend of mine told me this a while back, and I'll pass it on...she said one time when she saw me upset with myself, that I was down about something...''You will feel this way until you don't feel this way, anymore. Simple as that.''

Pain is part of life, and part of being human...and you will feel the way you do, until you don't...anymore.

Heart Hug

Be true to yourself. Heart
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24-11-2014, 07:26 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
Hug
Get a nice bottle of wine, and pretend it's Friday. Sadcryface

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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24-11-2014, 07:59 AM
RE: I'm falling apart a little bit.
sending hugs.

Just accept it for what it is, a shit day, let the tears, anger, and heart break flow without any restraint, give yourself permission to just let yourself express whatever comes, and the next day get on with what makes you happy.

I find physical work calming on those types of emotional days. I cant tell you how many rooms I have painted during those times. Its like my brain and body lock onto the project and the emotions flow thru the work.

You can also choose to change the way you see the day. Find a "good thing" that you only do on this day. My mother died on my daughters 6th birthday. I had to choose not to be wreck and ruin my young daughters birthday every year. My mother wouldnt want that. My young girl deserves to have a birthday with smiles and fun and not a Mom that is a wreck. I don't know about your friend, but my Mom didnt choose the day she died, it was just the day her body gave out. I prefer to do my remembering of loved ones on their birthdays, happier memories and feels more like I am celebrating their life rather than continuing to mourn the death.

I hope you can get thru the day quickly.

Hug


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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