I'm kind of freaking myself out
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12-06-2013, 04:47 PM
I'm kind of freaking myself out
I've been experiencing a lot of personal, family, and relationship problems since January. Needless to say 2013 has not been my year, but that's not the point.

I have a social anxiety problem with change, loss, loneliness, etc. Whenever I'm depressed, I sleep a lot. The longest I've slept is 16 hours of a day, and it wasn't because I wanted to, or felt tired, but excessive sleeping takes my mind off of what's going on in my life. Recently it's been a lot of self esteem, personal understanding, verbal abuse with my mother, and several events that have taken place in my group of friends and partners. I found myself trying to talk a bad influence friend of mine into bringing me sleeping pills, but he sort of noticed what was going on and refused. Several of my friends have noticed my excessive sleeping when I'm depressed (legendoflink) but within the past three weeks, sleeping has gotten weird for me.

I'd typically have occasional dreams about colors and warmth and people- some vivid, some dull, some sexual. But I've experienced a change recently, and my dreams are suddenly about self mutilation, attention, pain, death and what-ifs. I'm not comfortable at all with these dreams. Sleeping has resulted in causing me horrific headaches-- I take more Tylenol that I feel a 17 year old probably should-- I've also experienced fatigue, and awful back pains. I've brought it up to my mom, but she really hasn't payed much attention to me to take it seriously. I think she was suspicious at first, but eventually stopped coming into my room to see if I was sleeping. I don't want to bombard her about this issue if I can fix it myself, because I'd rather not face her wrath; she's skilled at overreacting.

Any pointers?
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12-06-2013, 04:58 PM
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
First, can a mod (if you feel it should be) move this to the personal issues and support section.

I know what it's like to have a parent with their own personal issues and not wanting to add to them...but while time might help...I spent a lot of years suffering that I probably didn't need to. Trying more or less to help myself.

You shouldn't have to do it alone. Can you make an appointment with a doctor? Just under the idea to your mom maybe that you want a check up?

Lastly I want to offer big hugs! Your teen years shouldn't be about suffering through until you're an adult.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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12-06-2013, 05:56 PM
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
I have the same problem, I sleep too much when I get down and that only ends spiralling down Sad

Two things that help me, and hopefully will help you
1- eat lots of fruit, they're magical little things that make your brain feel good and awake.
2- get out of the house, the sun is particularly good at waking you up and making you feel energetic and optimistic about life, I think it has something to do with evolution Wink

anyway, these may sound as cheating your brain into feeling better without fixing the real issue, but you won't fix the real issue if your brain isn't working properly, so cheat! Big Grin

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12-06-2013, 08:25 PM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2013 08:37 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
(12-06-2013 04:47 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I have a social anxiety problem with change, loss, loneliness, etc. Whenever I'm depressed, I sleep a lot. The longest I've slept is 16 hours of a day, and it wasn't because I wanted to, or felt tired, but excessive sleeping takes my mind off of what's going on in my life.

I sleep until I wake. Fuck alarm clocks. I sleep until I wake. That means I'm done with this repair and recording and processing cycle. I have the luxury of doing that and I sure as hell appreciate it. I don't use my vacation hours to go on cruises, I use my vacation hours to sleep until I wake. 3 hours late, "Yeah, I wasn't ready to wake up." ... But I am the exception to typical employment or shit like showing up for class on time. Tongue

(12-06-2013 04:47 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  But I've experienced a change recently, and my dreams are suddenly about self mutilation, attention, pain, death and what-ifs. I'm not comfortable at all with these dreams.
....
Any pointers?

Sounds like you're worried about Sarah.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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12-06-2013, 08:42 PM
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
(12-06-2013 04:58 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  First, can a mod (if you feel it should be) move this to the personal issues and support section.

I know what it's like to have a parent with their own personal issues and not wanting to add to them...but while time might help...I spent a lot of years suffering that I probably didn't need to. Trying more or less to help myself.

You shouldn't have to do it alone. Can you make an appointment with a doctor? Just under the idea to your mom maybe that you want a check up?

Lastly I want to offer big hugs! Your teen years shouldn't be about suffering through until you're an adult.

I have an appointment with my doctor soon for a check up, and I was going to mention it him if my mom was absent from the room. She overreacts and tells me that it's "nothing", completely brushing it off, and it makes me a little mad. And even when I try to persist, she just yells and completely doesn't take the time to understand sometimes.

Thank you MSBB. Heart

(12-06-2013 05:56 PM)nach_in Wrote:  I have the same problem, I sleep too much when I get down and that only ends spiralling down Sad

Two things that help me, and hopefully will help you
1- eat lots of fruit, they're magical little things that make your brain feel good and awake.
2- get out of the house, the sun is particularly good at waking you up and making you feel energetic and optimistic about life, I think it has something to do with evolution Wink

anyway, these may sound as cheating your brain into feeling better without fixing the real issue, but you won't fix the real issue if your brain isn't working properly, so cheat! Big Grin

I try to maintain a good diet. I'm thin but sort of lazy, and I know I'm not going to excercise. So I try to drink a lot of water and stay away from as many sweets. I'm also hardly home, but it's the days I have to stay home (my mom usually only lets me leave four days a week, I come home to sleep, shower and babysit, and leave again) but it's the days I absolutely have to stay at home, or there's simply nothing I could go out and do (I don't drive either, so it's difficult sometimes) I find myself falling into the pit again. Sad

(12-06-2013 08:25 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Sounds like you're worried about Sarah.

Or I'm becoming her.
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12-06-2013, 08:55 PM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2013 09:07 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
(12-06-2013 08:42 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(12-06-2013 08:25 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Sounds like you're worried about Sarah.

Or I'm becoming her.

Ain't happening. Ain't your thing. The interesting part is how the hell can I possibly know that with such confidence without ever having met you. ... Yet, nevertheless, I do.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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12-06-2013, 09:08 PM (This post was last modified: 13-06-2013 12:18 AM by Peanut.)
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
(12-06-2013 04:47 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I've been experiencing a lot of personal, family, and relationship problems since January. Needless to say 2013 has not been my year, but that's not the point.

I have a social anxiety problem with change, loss, loneliness, etc. Whenever I'm depressed, I sleep a lot. The longest I've slept is 16 hours of a day, and it wasn't because I wanted to, or felt tired, but excessive sleeping takes my mind off of what's going on in my life. Recently it's been a lot of self esteem, personal understanding, verbal abuse with my mother, and several events that have taken place in my group of friends and partners. I found myself trying to talk a bad influence friend of mine into bringing me sleeping pills, but he sort of noticed what was going on and refused. Several of my friends have noticed my excessive sleeping when I'm depressed (legendoflink) but within the past three weeks, sleeping has gotten weird for me.

I'd typically have occasional dreams about colors and warmth and people- some vivid, some dull, some sexual. But I've experienced a change recently, and my dreams are suddenly about self mutilation, attention, pain, death and what-ifs. I'm not comfortable at all with these dreams. Sleeping has resulted in causing me horrific headaches-- I take more Tylenol that I feel a 17 year old probably should-- I've also experienced fatigue, and awful back pains. I've brought it up to my mom, but she really hasn't payed much attention to me to take it seriously. I think she was suspicious at first, but eventually stopped coming into my room to see if I was sleeping. I don't want to bombard her about this issue if I can fix it myself, because I'd rather not face her wrath; she's skilled at overreacting.

Any pointers?

Hi Smile Nice to meet you, Ferd. I'm Ash.

It's been a little bit since I was 17 years old. (I had my baby at that tender age, so I had different issues to deal with.) But I can relate to wanting to sleep whenever things get overwhelming.

All I want to do lately is sleep. I also have insomnia, so I stay up all night and then I go to work and THEN I doze throughout the day. It's a vicious cycle. I do know that I started my issues with insomnia at the age of 13, only I didn't know what I was doing. I thought that staying up all night was okay; I was a teenager! I was young and invincible. But when I got to be about 15, I decided I was too tired for anything. I'd go to school and then I'd get home and sleep 'til nighttime and then stay up. Again, I was young and I didn't see what I was doing to myself or teaching myself and making my body used to.

All I'm saying is that if you continue down this path, you'll be a 24 year old that doesn't want to do ANYTHING. You may become a recluse and want to stay inside and not even want to go out with friends. THEN your friends will begin to stop asking you to do things. THEN you'll start to question their loyalties and you'll feel resentful. You'll wonder why they don't want to hang out with you. You're going to feel left out, lady. It's not a good feeling.

I suggest finding a hobby. Just try something new. Something that you would be excited to do whenever you decide that you're tired at a random time in the day. You should also evaluate your sleep schedule. You need to try to regulate the sleep you get. Set a bedtime and stick with it.

And stay away from the sleep aids. You don't need them. No

You gotta stop this cycle now before it becomes your absolute go-to for when you get depressed. I mean, you're going to just sleep when you get even just a teeny bit SAD. You gotta deal with issues head-on.

I'm working on not doing it right now, but again, I've been doing this for more than a decade. You're young; Change your habits now. Heart

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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12-06-2013, 10:05 PM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2013 10:26 PM by ridethespiral.)
RE: I'm kind of freaking myself out
The fact that you are posting means that you have already done the hard part, you have identified the need to change and on a subconscious level you may have already begun to change for the better.

I'm not a professional by any means and I've never had trouble sleeping, but I have been depressed for months or even years at a time during my late teens and early twenties and I have sat in a dark room trying to sleep away reality more times than I care to admit. I've drifted away into virtual space for days on end....Heck, I still resort to escapism, but I think I've gotten it back from the point of unhealthy-ness...but this isn't about me suffusive to say that I understand some of it...

Essentially whenever you are feeling depressed it is the result of societal/external pressure preventing you from actualizing your desires leaving you in a state of flux. When you are depressed it is like being a deer in the headlights of life, frozen while the world moves around you while you fail to reconcile something you know deep down must be reconciled. Advertising attempts to create in you a desire, and then encourages you to act on it, and if you don't the product seems to haunt you. Religion attempts the same thing when it postulates that 'you can't be whole and happy without the savior.' They want you to be depressed and feel incomplete without that BMW or that iPhone or stock in Jesus' big timeshare in the sky, so that you will actualize on their offers.

But it works the same way for personal conflicts, if for example I spend years wanting to move to Vermont and I let my parents and my job or whatever tie me down long enough and I want to move bad enough eventually I will become depressed as my unrequited desire to move grows.

Depression is a state of purgatory (to borrow a term from religion) you can't follow through with your desire, but you can't let go of it either and so you suffer in this way. Although I do think depression also comes from feelings of inadequacy, if I was convinced by my peers that I was unattractive and I could not reconcile myself with that it would also be depressing. There have been times in my life where have chased a girl that I loved who didn't see me in the same way and for me that was a depression, it was knowing that I couldn't get what I wanted but not being able to let go. What I learned eventually is that the best way to combat depression is 'carpe diem' if you hate something about yourself start changing it rather than reflecting endlessly upon it. If you hate what someone has done to you/or does to you, prove them wrong, or confront them (others may get emotionally hurt but that is not your burdon) or simply seek solace from/breakup with that person. ....but don't just sleep life away, I love to sleep in on Sunday but really you only get one go round.

So what I recommend is you try to identify that which is the root cause(s) of your feelings and come to terms with it (by action and with resolve) instead of trying to sleep it away. Do it in small steps if you have too (today I go from 1/2 a pack a day to a 1/4, tomorrow I will go to from 5 smokes to 4, and the next day 3...) Your subconscious is already a step ahead of you, it won't let you sleep any more, it lead you to make this post, it won't let you rest until you confront what is bothering you.

I recommend you also fake it until you make it. If you are overweight and you want to be fit then pretend you are a fitness guru, by some fancy shoes, get a pedometer, join a health forum, start jogging. If you want to be a biologist start reading, start a bug collection, do whatever it takes...live what you want to be, and don't pay any attention to anyone)... and do get a hobby the times I'm the most happy are when I'm distracted by something I feel is important, writing a program, reading a book, playing some games, jamming to drum loops on my bass.

I also recommend you lay off the tylenol, a high enough dose can be harmful and clearly it's not a solution, I knew someone who almost ODed on the stuff. I also suggest that you be leery of the precription pharmaceutical solutions available (both the sleep aids and the anti-depressants) which while they are vital for some, all to often they are over prescribed and result in dependance or ever increasing/changing medication cocktails. I would suggest that you instead see a therapist and talk some of this stuff out. It's actually quite nice, you basically just talk about yourself for an hour (and who doesn't secretly enjoy that a little bit) and you can come out with a better understanding of what is making you upset and a plan for dealing with it...if you can't get a therapist then find a friend, here or IRL who will listen and ask tough questions.

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