I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
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15-09-2014, 03:31 PM
I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
I'm 35 year old housewife, 2 toddlers, 1 teenager, military husband. Anways, I was raised as a casual christian, we didn't really go to church, and a few years ago got sucked into a church probably out of my loneliness with babies and deployed husband. My relationship with Christ got rekindled and I felt like I belonged. Everything was right with the world and then I started reading the bible. Wow. I really started reading and questioning the bible. My pastor would say I'm over thinking things to my questions. So I got into apologetics. That didn't satisfy me. So then I started listening to some of the thinking atheists podcasts and it all made sense. It feels right. I feel duped. Part of me wishes I could believe but I can't fake it. It's not who I am.

I feel both enlightened and I'm grieving a little bit inside because what I thought was to be won't. I have lost my sisters in a house fire and my grandparents who raised me recently died. I won't be joining them in a beautiful paradise in the sky.

But what I'm wondering, as a new agnostic, atheist, not really sure what I call myself is that are there any of you out there who were Christian who still pray? I still pray and it brings me comfort. I'm not sure if it's like meditating or habit but every night I do and I know that if I talk about this with my many friends of faith they will just chalk it up to GOD trying to pull me back in.
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15-09-2014, 03:35 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
It took me forever to let go of "praying" even tho I knew it was basically useless or stupid.

One day I was passed a crisis and suddenly realized i made it through without even thinking about it.

It felt soooo good. You'll get there!

Welcome to our community.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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15-09-2014, 03:45 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
(15-09-2014 03:31 PM)Brandzilla Wrote:  I'm 35 year old housewife, 2 toddlers, 1 teenager, military husband. Anways, I was raised as a casual christian, we didn't really go to church, and a few years ago got sucked into a church probably out of my loneliness with babies and deployed husband. My relationship with Christ got rekindled and I felt like I belonged. Everything was right with the world and then I started reading the bible. Wow. I really started reading and questioning the bible. My pastor would say I'm over thinking things to my questions. So I got into apologetics. That didn't satisfy me. So then I started listening to some of the thinking atheists podcasts and it all made sense. It feels right. I feel duped. Part of me wishes I could believe but I can't fake it. It's not who I am.

I feel both enlightened and I'm grieving a little bit inside because what I thought was to be won't. I have lost my sisters in a house fire and my grandparents who raised me recently died. I won't be joining them in a beautiful paradise in the sky.

But what I'm wondering, as a new agnostic, atheist, not really sure what I call myself is that are there any of you out there who were Christian who still pray? I still pray and it brings me comfort. I'm not sure if it's like meditating or habit but every night I do and I know that if I talk about this with my many friends of faith they will just chalk it up to GOD trying to pull me back in.

Welcome, and congrats on walking away from fabricated delusion Yes

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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15-09-2014, 03:52 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
I was never Christian, nor have I ever believed in anything supernatural, but when the person closest to me died 7 years ago, for years I would still get sad and whisper or think thoughts aimed directly at that person, as if she could hear me. I knew there was no afterlife, I knew she couldn't hear me, but still it helped me grieve.

Point is...some comforting rituals we do, really don't make sense logically. But that doesn't mean it doesn't provide some measure of therapy (sometimes).

Welcome!

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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15-09-2014, 04:36 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
(15-09-2014 03:31 PM)Brandzilla Wrote:  I'm 35 year old housewife, 2 toddlers, 1 teenager, military husband. Anways, I was raised as a casual christian, we didn't really go to church, and a few years ago got sucked into a church probably out of my loneliness with babies and deployed husband. My relationship with Christ got rekindled and I felt like I belonged. Everything was right with the world and then I started reading the bible. Wow. I really started reading and questioning the bible. My pastor would say I'm over thinking things to my questions. So I got into apologetics. That didn't satisfy me. So then I started listening to some of the thinking atheists podcasts and it all made sense. It feels right. I feel duped. Part of me wishes I could believe but I can't fake it. It's not who I am.

I feel both enlightened and I'm grieving a little bit inside because what I thought was to be won't. I have lost my sisters in a house fire and my grandparents who raised me recently died. I won't be joining them in a beautiful paradise in the sky.

But what I'm wondering, as a new agnostic, atheist, not really sure what I call myself is that are there any of you out there who were Christian who still pray? I still pray and it brings me comfort. I'm not sure if it's like meditating or habit but every night I do and I know that if I talk about this with my many friends of faith they will just chalk it up to GOD trying to pull me back in.

Everyone who prays, whether they employ a mental "destination" image or not, for who/what they are talking to, are talking to themsleves. Self-talk. Psychologists swear by it. It good for ya. Talk away. It releases all sorts of good neuro-chemicals. Why do you think religious people are addicted to it ?

It's funny how modern culture is fast changing about "praying". Even the president, who *says* he believes, now just says "Our thoughts are with the family of bla bla bla ...".
More and more, people don't say "I'll pray for you".

I say "God has a plan. Don't screw it up with your prayers." Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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15-09-2014, 05:26 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
(15-09-2014 03:31 PM)Brandzilla Wrote:  But what I'm wondering, as a new agnostic, atheist, not really sure what I call myself is that are there any of you out there who were Christian who still pray?

I still do. The only difference is who I'm praying to.

#sigh
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15-09-2014, 06:35 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
Welcome aboard, if it makes you feel any better, nobody is going to hell either.
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15-09-2014, 07:32 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
Quote:I still pray and it brings me comfort.


Sometimes talking to yourself is the only way to get a coherent answer. Just as long as you understand that all you are doing is talking to yourself.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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15-09-2014, 08:03 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
Talking to myself, praying to God, 6 of one half a dozen of the other.

#sigh
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15-09-2014, 08:22 PM
RE: I'm new here. Here it is in a nutshell.
Hi! Welcome!

I talk to myself a lot. No voices talk back - I'm not schizophrenic.


I don't know when I stopped praying. I never really understood how people "received answers" to their prayers. I have two options and don't know what to pick - "well just pray about it, god will show you his path." It was a while before I made the connection that god isn't real, that there is no supernatural, that I will cease to exist when I die. I did pray some towards the end of my deconversion, in an 'I'm pissed at you, why don't you show yourself', grasping for straws kinda way. Radio silence.

I know it's completely irrational, but sometimes I wish he were real so I could tell him he's a fucking monster and that I choose hell over him.



I have a tough time with it. Not seeing loved ones when I die is what upsets me the most. I have to remind myself that when I'm dead I'm not going to know the difference.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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