I'm officially out
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
18-07-2013, 07:36 AM
I'm officially out
Had a talk with most of my family (dad, mom, little sister) and I have now been outed. I had previously talked to my wife about my agnostic atheism and she almost walked out on me for good. Now that should have prepared me for my family's reaction. They taught me critical thinking and never forced the religion on me, but their reactions affected me more than I care to admit.

I don't know why I expected them to act differently. I guess I thought they would be open-minded enough to accept me for who I am. Instead they got upset and immediately jumped to all the conclusions that fundamentalists usually lovingly (riiight) reserve for us atheists. Weeping

Afterwards they told me that they still accept me, but that they are scared. Of what, I asked? They said I was too "logical" for my own good. I wonder what that means? Blink

I just needed to get this out. I have noone else to talk to. My wife and family think I'm bonkers. I drove my way home calmly, but when I got out of the car and into the house I had the sudden urge to grab a sledgehammer and start pounding. Angry

How can they choose to trust someone who they haven't met, who have not shown any material proof that it/he/she even exists, over someone they have known their whole lives? It's f Censored ing infuriating. Sadcryface

Carry on then guys and gals. I'm sure this is nothing you haven't seen before. I am just thankful that there is still an outlet and I could send this out to the void instead of bottling it up and it slowly eats me from the inside.


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ivaneus's post
18-07-2013, 07:46 AM
I'm officially out
Dude. Fundies suck. But you definitely have an outlet here. And there are peeps with families that reacted the same as yours, so don't feel alone. If you need more support, then just say the word!
Hug

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Erxomai's post
18-07-2013, 07:52 AM
RE: I'm officially out
Give everyone some time for the dust to settle. You've been having these thoughts and figuring everything out in your own head for awhile now-they need some time to think thru things too. They were probably surprised by your revelation. Give them some time to wrap their head around it.

Moving forward I wouldn't bring it up unless asked....atleast in the short term, until family can discuss in a calm manner. Go about your usual daily life and just show them by example that you aren't much different than you were before. You still love the same people you did before, you still want the best for your loved ones, etc.

I think Seth has a few podcasts on the topic and many of the others here who have been thru it probably have some good advice.

atleast the cat is out of the bag, and there aren't any secrets.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
18-07-2013, 07:53 AM
RE: I'm officially out
(18-07-2013 07:46 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Dude. Fundies suck. But you definitely have an outlet here. And there are peeps with families that reacted the same as yours, so don't feel alone. If you need more support, then just say the word!
Hug

Thanks Erx. I know I shouldn't feel alone. But I'm human so I can't help it. Undecided

You guys, this forum and Seth help keep me going. Thanks for the kind words and the support. Big Grin


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ivaneus's post
18-07-2013, 07:57 AM
RE: I'm officially out
(18-07-2013 07:52 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Give everyone some time for the dust to settle. You've been having these thoughts and figuring everything out in your own head for awhile now-they need some time to think thru things too. They were probably surprised by your revelation. Give them some time to wrap their head around it.

Moving forward I wouldn't bring it up unless asked....atleast in the short term, until family can discuss in a calm manner. Go about your usual daily life and just show them by example that you aren't much different than you were before. You still love the same people you did before, you still want the best for your loved ones, etc.

I think Seth has a few podcasts on the topic and many of the others here who have been thru it probably have some good advice.

atleast the cat is out of the bag, and there aren't any secrets.

Thanks BnA. I know. I realize for them it's also a pretty big boulder placed on their lap. I can't help rage against the indoctrination all of us were subjected to. Angry I will just have to be patient. Show them that nothing has changed despite my unbelief. And hope that they realize that all their fears are unfounded. And I will listen to the relevant podcasts again. If you permit me, allow me to Hug Angel


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ivaneus's post
18-07-2013, 08:07 AM
RE: I'm officially out
Sorry it went that way for you and hopefully they'll get better with time.

It makes no sense that people place value on something they've never seen etc. over real people in their life.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes KidCharlemagne1962's post
18-07-2013, 08:12 AM
RE: I'm officially out
(18-07-2013 08:07 AM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  Sorry it went that way for you and hopefully they'll get better with time.

It makes no sense that people place value on something they've never seen etc. over real people in their life.

Thanks KidC. Being here with you guys, reading your posts and sharing some laughs really help a lot. Thumbsup

I'm calmer now. Trying to slow my brain down so I can get some sleep. Sleepy My parents and my wife keep texting me though, and my BP goes up again. No oh, well.


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-07-2013, 08:26 AM
RE: I'm officially out
Who do you think you are being all logical and stuff???? Shocking

Seriously, there is a lot of support here. Lots of people who went through the family and friends plan for things going to crap.

As bows mentioned...first thing is to give it some time.

And just be you...let them see that lacking faith hasn't turned you into some evil, raging, immoral, nutjob...unless that's what you have always been. Evil_monster

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
18-07-2013, 08:31 AM
RE: I'm officially out
Took about a year for the dust to settle between the wife and myself. I too lost my religion mid-marriage. We don't really talk about it between us, but she's cool when I discuss it with my sisters. Give it time and don't push anything on her. Neither of our wives bargained for this when they chose to marry us.

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

-Neil deGrasse Tyson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes NoahsFarce's post
18-07-2013, 08:34 AM
RE: I'm officially out
(18-07-2013 08:26 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Who do you think you are being all logical and stuff???? Shocking

Seriously, there is a lot of support here. Lots of people who went through the family and friends plan for things going to crap.

As bows mentioned...first thing is to give it some time.

And just be you...let them see that lacking faith hasn't turned you into some evil, raging, immoral, nutjob...unless that's what you have always been. Evil_monster

My OTHER secret is out! Hobo Evil_monster Hehe.

Seriously Anjele, thanks. Support is really what I need now. And you guys are plenty generous with it. I really appreciate it. Blush


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ivaneus's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: