I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
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19-02-2017, 12:07 PM
I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
I've come here to ask for help on a problem i'm having i started out with asking this question on a website that i thought might be more suitable for my situation although most of the people there ended up being religious or non religious tried to help but openly admitted they weren't very sure how to help this fear of mine go away.

Which i appreciated them trying but still being honest so i sat on my couch debating
weather or not i wanted to trust this website with my irrational fear and a topic that is not something i like openly talking about but is apart of the problem. I had to decide
and i came here because the last place that helped me with this issue was this website so i don't see why i can't give it another go and see if you guys can maybe help once more.

While i'm seriously hoping who i am as a person isn't going to turn into a debate, i shouldn't be worried though i guess if anyone is going to understand it would be communities that have been in a lot of judgement themselves. So here comes my question that is a fear that i need some help with.

I'm scared of going to hell and to be honest i asked this question before on a old name i lost the password to and the fear eventually faded away. Then it came back
and it came back for reasons i haven't found. Although i know why this fear has returned is because i'm scared that sense i am Transgender that i'm going to burn.
It is even starting to interfere with not only the acceptance of myself but the acceptance of others and i really don't want to a judgmental person like my parents or family just because some crazy religion drove something into my brain
that wasn't true at a young age.

Yes, i'm scared of this fear so badly that it seems to be becoming a problem although not so much of a problem i'm actually saying or doing anything that could be harmful its just mostly all inside my head you know the thoughts that be and others being trans is "Wrong" and "Sinful" and i just don't know who to go to anymore i feel like i'm being pulled in both directions do i go to a place that understands trans folks or a place that has other atheists that can maybe help with this fear of hell fire and torture.

Well, there doesn't seem to be any right answer and i'm terrified now that i just told a entire forum. But at the same time i'm wanting to bang my head on a table to get this fear to stop.
Iv'e listened to podcasts seths does but other then listening and researching how wrong religion is and how manipulative it can be i don't know how to get myself to process the fact that it's okay because my brain "Knows i won't burn in hell it's okay to be trans" but i can't get it to think it's okay.

[/size] I'm unsure if that make sense.
I'm also sorry for my spelling and grammar problems i have learning disability's and it tends to get in the way of me spelling proper. and at this point i question if it's getting in the way of me understanding why it's okay for me to be who i am and why i won't burn but that's probably me over thinking and i'm known for over thinking.
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19-02-2017, 01:03 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
There is no hell. You'll be fine. Hug

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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19-02-2017, 01:06 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
Welcome back.

Either God is merciful and he’ll have mercy, he’s a dick and will punish you or there is no God and all your worrying is for naught.

[Image: 337f50c2dfec94b0f9c840969c691151.jpg]

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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19-02-2017, 01:21 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
Welcome to TTA Smile

I'm a former Christian and had this fear as well, so I completely understand. Hugs to you.

The good news is that there is an abundant amount of information out there from reputable scholars who have studied all of these things beyond what they tell you in church. And guess what is not surprising-hell is a completely man made concept. In fact, it isn't even intrinsically Christian.

The idea of hell and Satan came from a neighboring religion called Zoroastrianism. This was done quite frequently at the time with neighboring religions adopting nearby practices from groups who they thought had the better beliefs, the better gods.

So why were Zoroastrian beliefs incorporated? Because they were skilled conquerors. And since the belief was that gods helped you conquer lands, it only made sense (to the ancient peoples at the time) that they must have the right beliefs and right gods. Later, this Satan character was further morphed by Greek mythology aka Greek gods/beliefs.

I'm out and about now running errands, but I'll post you info that you can read for yourself (compiled by scholars) when I get back.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-02-2017, 01:23 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
It doesn't sound like anything we say here will subdue your fear. You said yourself that this fear is irrational, have you spoken to a therapist about it? I feel like that might yield better results than folk here telling you not to worry, because hell doesn't exist.

Frankie de la Cunto
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19-02-2017, 01:40 PM (This post was last modified: 19-02-2017 01:43 PM by Robvalue.)
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
So sorry you're going through this Sad

I'll assume you're worried about Christian hell.

How much time have you spent worrying about Islam hell? Or any other hell from any other religion? Or any of the infinite possible hells from an infinite number of other possible religions that haven't even been "discovered" yet? I would bet you have spent precisely zero seconds worrying about them.

When you understand why that is, I think this will be the key to realizing why Christian hell is worth no more consideration. This one only feels real because you've been saturated in Christian mythology all your life.

It is absolutely horrible, but it does tend to fade over time. My advice is challenge it with logic at every opportunity. You've already established for yourself the belief is irrational. It's just emotional, because it's a psychological trick and nothing more. I know how horrible emotional beliefs can be, and that beating mine took a lot of time, effort and cold, hard logic. They will fall down every time under scrutiny, because they have no place in reality.

You could try mocking these religious ideas, that has worked for some people. I made a video sort of along these lines. Maybe it will help a little.




I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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19-02-2017, 01:55 PM (This post was last modified: 19-02-2017 02:02 PM by jennybee.)
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
Also nothing wrong with being you. Be your own true self. We get one life to live. Live it on your own terms. Don't worry about hell, it's not real. It's all man made. The concept of hell was brought to you by the same people who believed that God opened windows to let rain fall down and the sun passed through the underworld. So consider the source Wink

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-02-2017, 01:59 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
Hi and welcome. (or welcome back)

I'm sure you're not going to hell because I'm sure there is no hell. However, I think what you need is a good counselor in real life to help you process your feelings and your transition.

On the off chance that there's a supernatural being who has set up an afterlife for humans, maybe this will cheer you up...

Either this being is benign and all of us are going to the same place--we can call it heaven--or this being isn't benign, in which case the vast majority of us are going to hell. But cheer up: probably we'll be joined there eventually by the most of the righteous, as god throws them out of heaven for their afterlife offenses.
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19-02-2017, 02:17 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
Educate yourself. That's the key. While childhood condition is particularly strong, the more you understand about why a Hell cannot exist the more the fear will fade away. Whether it's because you find out that the concept of Hell is relatively new, or it's inconsistent with the laws of thermodynamics, or you discover all the logistical inconsistencies in it, or you realise that there is nothing in the Bible against being transgendered and that it is other people interpreting it out of their bigotry. The more you look into it, the more silly it will become.
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19-02-2017, 02:20 PM
RE: I'm scared i'm going to hell for being "me"
I agree with the consensus here which you are correct that your fear is irrational (I would add that it's also a result of long-standing operant conditioning and can't be expected to go away quickly) and also that you would benefit from therapy.

Your therapist should be particularly skilled at dealing with post traumatic stress and perhaps obsessive-compulsive issues. Also, you should select a non-religious therapist.

That said, I will offer this. You are no worse or better than the next person, and deserve to be content and at ease and to feel okay about yourself. I suspect you have never known what this is like, and that's a sad commentary on what religion (among other things, like authoritarian parenting) does to people. Maybe at this point in your life it's more important that you believe in your right to be okay that anything else. Without that, you won't fight for wellness. Please do that -- you're worth it.
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