I'm so confused. :(
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30-09-2014, 04:54 PM
I'm so confused. :(
I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?
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30-09-2014, 05:01 PM (This post was last modified: 30-09-2014 07:41 PM by DLJ.)
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?
Welcome to the forum!
Not wishy washy at all.

You might consider agnosticism!Yes
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30-09-2014, 05:03 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
Deconversion happens in stages for many people.

The only advice I can give is to keep asking questions, keep looking for evidence, hear what both sides say. Then look at what they say and what their argument is and see if it holds water.

If there is something you need more clarification on, start a thread here. Most of the members here were believers at one point, many have studied religion and religious texts and are full of information. Many of us were never raised in believing or discarded it as children or tried it on for a short time. No matter where you are in your journey, there is someone here who can relate to it.

Give yourself time to adjust to knew ideas.

Time and thinking, research will get you the answers you are looking for.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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30-09-2014, 05:04 PM (This post was last modified: 30-09-2014 07:43 PM by DLJ.)
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:01 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?
Welcome to the forum!
Not wishy washy at all.

You might consider agnosticism!Yes

Welcome to the Forum!
You might try agnosticism!
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30-09-2014, 05:09 PM (This post was last modified: 30-09-2014 07:43 PM by DLJ.)
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:04 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 05:01 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?
Welcome to the forum!
Not wishy washy at all.

You might consider agnosticism!Yes

Welcome to the Forum!
You might try agnosticism!

Due to a technical difficulty my WELCOME seems to have been obliterated.
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30-09-2014, 05:19 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?

It sounds like you are going through a lot of the trouble pains many people I read about go through when they try to rip themselves away from their former theism.

The real problem in my opinion is not really so much that you are having problems with your beliefs, it is that something that used to be what could had been the biggest single thing in your entire life or ever will have ( according to what you may had used to believe) in your life is now shot to pieces and gone and your still desperately trying to cling to it like a failed past. Like how old high school foot ball players who end up as red necks never shut the hell up about how they went to state 20-30 years ago and everyone in their community still remembers all that and talk about it like it happened two months ago.

It could be a lot like that, you might need to distance yourself from all of it for a little while longer and find yourself some like minded friends or support group who went or is going through what you did to talk with you and help you out. Luckily we have that here, but it might also help to find people IRL who might be able to hang out with yas.


My Youtube channel if anyone is interested.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEkRdbq...rLEz-0jEHQ
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30-09-2014, 05:27 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:19 PM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?

It sounds like you are going through a lot of the trouble pains many people I read about go through when they try to rip themselves away from their former theism.

The real problem in my opinion is not really so much that you are having problems with your beliefs, it is that something that used to be what could had been the biggest single thing in your entire life or ever will have ( according to what you may had used to believe) in your life is now shot to pieces and gone and your still desperately trying to cling to it like a failed past. Like how old high school foot ball players who end up as red necks never shut the hell up about how they went to state 20-30 years ago and everyone in their community still remembers all that and talk about it like it happened two months ago.

It could be a lot like that, you might need to distance yourself from all of it for a little while longer and find yourself some like minded friends or support group who went or is going through what you did to talk with you and help you out. Luckily we have that here, but it might also help to find people IRL who might be able to hang out with yas.

True. I was raised in church. Baptist to be exact. If the doors were open, we were there. I didn't have a choice growing up. It was God, God, God. Not believing was not an option. We weren't even allowed to question anything. I guess I feel kind of loss. Religion was a crutch growing up. We "depended" on God if that makes sense.
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30-09-2014, 05:30 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:03 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Deconversion happens in stages for many people.

The only advice I can give is to keep asking questions, keep looking for evidence, hear what both sides say. Then look at what they say and what their argument is and see if it holds water.

If there is something you need more clarification on, start a thread here. Most of the members here were believers at one point, many have studied religion and religious texts and are full of information. Many of us were never raised in believing or discarded it as children or tried it on for a short time. No matter where you are in your journey, there is someone here who can relate to it.

Give yourself time to adjust to knew ideas.

Time and thinking, research will get you the answers you are looking for.

I was raised in church. I broke away a few years ago because I couldn't stand it any more. My mother is deeply religious. She never, ever allowed us to question our faith growing up. I hated it. I've had doubts since I was very young. I feel a lot less judged on here.
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30-09-2014, 05:32 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:27 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 05:19 PM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  It sounds like you are going through a lot of the trouble pains many people I read about go through when they try to rip themselves away from their former theism.

The real problem in my opinion is not really so much that you are having problems with your beliefs, it is that something that used to be what could had been the biggest single thing in your entire life or ever will have ( according to what you may had used to believe) in your life is now shot to pieces and gone and your still desperately trying to cling to it like a failed past. Like how old high school foot ball players who end up as red necks never shut the hell up about how they went to state 20-30 years ago and everyone in their community still remembers all that and talk about it like it happened two months ago.

It could be a lot like that, you might need to distance yourself from all of it for a little while longer and find yourself some like minded friends or support group who went or is going through what you did to talk with you and help you out. Luckily we have that here, but it might also help to find people IRL who might be able to hang out with yas.

True. I was raised in church. Baptist to be exact. If the doors were open, we were there. I didn't have a choice growing up. It was God, God, God. Not believing was not an option. We weren't even allowed to question anything. I guess I feel kind of loss. Religion was a crutch growing up. We "depended" on God if that makes sense.

Agnosticism may be an option for you.
Old American atheist leader once described agnostics as gutless atheists.
You don't have to agree with her.
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30-09-2014, 05:46 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?!

I made up my own. It's no sillier than anyone else's. So far so good. Thumbsup

#sigh
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