I'm so confused. :(
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30-09-2014, 06:07 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
Deconversion sometimes can feel like a death. A death of what you once believed. A death of your former self, as a religious person. I deconverted a few years ago, but lately, I'm feeling like I'm 'missing' the comfort as you say seeker, of a god. We can convince ourselves of a lot of things, the brain is an amazing organ.

I can't imagine anyone who passionately prayed, and honestly at one time believed that a god existed, could just easily deconvert. I haven't met anyone who has deconverted who hasn't had some sort of struggle with it, along the way.

Be patient with yourself. It's ok to feel whatever you like. You've spent a long time not being true to yourself. Now, it's time to be true to you. I hope you find peace.
Heart

Be true to yourself. Heart
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30-09-2014, 06:10 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:32 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 05:27 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  True. I was raised in church. Baptist to be exact. If the doors were open, we were there. I didn't have a choice growing up. It was God, God, God. Not believing was not an option. We weren't even allowed to question anything. I guess I feel kind of loss. Religion was a crutch growing up. We "depended" on God if that makes sense.

Agnosticism may be an option for you.
Old American atheist leader once described agnostics as gutless atheists.
You don't have to agree with her.

I have been calling myself agnostic for a little while now. Or a spiritualist. Undecided In a way she is right. I am too scared to call myself an atheist or make that jump into atheism. I guess because I like the "comfort" of having something out there greater than us.
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30-09-2014, 06:22 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 06:07 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  Deconversion sometimes can feel like a death. A death of what you once believed. A death of your former self, as a religious person. I deconverted a few years ago, but lately, I'm feeling like I'm 'missing' the comfort as you say seeker, of a god. We can convince ourselves of a lot of things, the brain is an amazing organ.

I can't imagine anyone who passionately prayed, and honestly at one time believed that a god existed, could just easily deconvert. I haven't met anyone who has deconverted who hasn't had some sort of struggle with it, along the way.

Be patient with yourself. It's ok to feel whatever you like. You've spent a long time not being true to yourself. Now, it's time to be true to you. I hope you find peace.
Heart

Thank you! It's nice to know that others are feeling the same way. I have alway felt so alone in my journey.
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30-09-2014, 06:26 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 06:22 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 06:07 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  Deconversion sometimes can feel like a death. A death of what you once believed. A death of your former self, as a religious person. I deconverted a few years ago, but lately, I'm feeling like I'm 'missing' the comfort as you say seeker, of a god. We can convince ourselves of a lot of things, the brain is an amazing organ.

I can't imagine anyone who passionately prayed, and honestly at one time believed that a god existed, could just easily deconvert. I haven't met anyone who has deconverted who hasn't had some sort of struggle with it, along the way.

Be patient with yourself. It's ok to feel whatever you like. You've spent a long time not being true to yourself. Now, it's time to be true to you. I hope you find peace.
Heart

Thank you! It's nice to know that others are feeling the same way. I have alway felt so alone in my journey.

Well, you're not alone. Hug

Be true to yourself. Heart
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30-09-2014, 06:32 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 06:10 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  
(30-09-2014 05:32 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  Agnosticism may be an option for you.
Old American atheist leader once described agnostics as gutless atheists.
You don't have to agree with her.

I have been calling myself agnostic for a little while now. Or a spiritualist. Undecided In a way she is right. I am too scared to call myself an atheist or make that jump into atheism. I guess because I like the "comfort" of having something out there greater than us.

Fear of labeling yourself an atheist isn't abnormal - it's a stigmatized label. Consider all that you have heard about atheists in your life - does it conjure a positive image? I suspect not. Now take a look at the atheists with whom you've interacted - does the image look better? I suspect it does. We're pretty much normal folks. There are plenty of people who are "out" and doing good work to destigmatize the label.

Here's one thing to consider - being out is choice, but being an atheist really isn't. You said it yourself, you like the comfort of having something out there greater than us. You want to ask yourself if you truly believe in a god or do you believe in belief?
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30-09-2014, 07:10 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
Seeker13, keep finding the truth. Read a lot of books that concern science, the universe, and religion as a whole. You would feel much better about how you would perceive this reality from now on. I did exactly just that but I can't really escape from it, yet. I'm tied to Islam for now as all my uncles are conservatives. But I am ready to come out once I graduate from law school and the hell with my extended family. I will suffer no longer!
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30-09-2014, 07:46 PM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:09 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  ...
Due to a technical difficulty my WELCOME seems to have been obliterated.

Fixt! Thumbsup

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Pro-tip 2: Before welcoming, check 'joined' date. Smile

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01-10-2014, 07:37 AM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 04:54 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I've been struggling with my beliefs for years and I am just tired of it. I wish I could figure out where I "belong." For some reason I feel like I need a god to believe in, for comfort I guess. I don't know why. At the same time it just feels silly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?! I hate being so wishy washy. You would think that it would be a simple decision...either you believe or not.

I have just now started revealing to people that i'm not really a believer and as you can imagine the christian group is less than thrilled. Undecided One of my old youth pastors is being a complete jerk about it and is totally denying my feelings and doubts. He's treating me like an out-of-control, bratty child. That sort of hurts, but i'm not really sure what I expected. Confused

How long did it take you to figure out that you are atheist? Was there a deciding factor or was it a gradual conclusion that God doesn't exist?

You are not the only one who struggled with the deconversion process. Mine took many years and had lots of ups and downs. It was not until just a few years ago I fully accepted there is no god and was comfortable with feeling that way.

I keep my atheism to myself. My friends and family are religious, some of the extremely so. I no longer participate in religious stuff, but have not made any kind of "announcement". I stay well clear of any kind of religious discussion with family and friends.
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01-10-2014, 09:17 AM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
When you lose something or someone that/who was woven into your everyday activities, you grieve. It doesn't matter whether this is a person you lived with or a job you loved and held for many years or a god who was in your daily thoughts. It is all grieving.

Grieving is a very disturbing thing because it seems uncontrollable even to people who usually have tons of self control. Just when you think you are ok, it hits again.

There are stages which may appear in any sequence, sadness, anger, denial...

There are triggers for the stages, times when you used to be occupied with the missing component in your life.

Basically, you suffered a big loss, a strong component of your life is gone and left a void. Over time, the void will fill with new things.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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01-10-2014, 09:23 AM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 05:03 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Deconversion happens in stages for many people.

The only advice I can give is to keep asking questions, keep looking for evidence, hear what both sides say. Then look at what they say and what their argument is and see if it holds water.

If there is something you need more clarification on, start a thread here. Most of the members here were believers at one point, many have studied religion and religious texts and are full of information. Many of us were never raised in believing or discarded it as children or tried it on for a short time. No matter where you are in your journey, there is someone here who can relate to it.

Give yourself time to adjust to knew ideas.

Time and thinking, research will get you the answers you are looking for.

Bowing Bowing Bowing Bowing Bowing
THIS SHOULD BE AT THE TOP OF THE INTRODUCTION FORUM.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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