I'm so confused. :(
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01-10-2014, 09:49 AM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
(30-09-2014 06:10 PM)seeker13 Wrote:  I have been calling myself agnostic for a little while now. Or a spiritualist. Undecided In a way she is right. I am too scared to call myself an atheist or make that jump into atheism. I guess because I like the "comfort" of having something out there greater than us.

I am of a similar background. In high school my parents forced me to go to several different southern baptist churches. I had to be there Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, choir practice, extra youth group activities, Friday night "Fifth Quarter" after home football games, mission trips, etc...

Be a good little girl and don't question the almighty god. Submit.

I was a closeted agnostic atheist in high school, and then fell victim to Pascals Wager. The fear placed by brainwashing from things like Judgement House (which I was a lead character in) really scared me with the "what if I am wrong about this, I'm going to spend an eternity in hell." As an adult I tried so hard to believe and convinced myself I couldn't hear god and he didn't answer my prayers because of my sin, and because I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit. Then as my faith continued to once again fall apart I would say things like "I'm more spiritual than religious" but still clung to the Christian label.

I had time to sit down and think earlier this year when I quit my really stressful job and finally faced what I've been avoiding for years. I don't believe in god anymore. In fact, I find most of the bible morally abhorrent.

Once again, I'm an agnostic atheist. There is no evidence for a god or intelligent design. I'm through with feeling guilty all the time.

I still struggle. I'm still grieving. But it's getting better. There IS something great - it's life. I saw a movie a few months ago that was pretty cool - it was astronauts talking about their awe of the beauty of the earth, and one of them was talking about how we are all basically stardust (this is as close as I get to woo talk). I'll try and find it - it helped me.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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01-10-2014, 10:15 AM
RE: I'm so confused. :(
Nurse - the stardust quote is probably from Lawrence Krauss. I would google and post the whole thing but I'm on my phone about to enter class. It's beautiful. Also, watch Neil deGrasse Tyson YouTube clip titled something " most amazing thought and disturbing thought" or something close to that. The passion for life and the universe he has in that particular video is what gets me. He is able to describe it very well.

"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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