I'm so scared!
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02-07-2013, 02:33 PM (This post was last modified: 02-07-2013 02:55 PM by TheGulegon.)
RE: I'm so scared!
Nursing is what she wants, Scully. Her dad is one, and she wants that too.

I didn't know she had already had an abortion. She indirectly asked how I felt, but I just cut right to it; if you're O.K. with that decision then I'm O.K. with it, if you aren't we can talk. She just hugged me all of a sudden, and nothing more was said about it. Which I was shamefully glad of, because that's about all I had! It went from there to talk about the complete lack of unauthorized guests in my house. Given our talks about her past I believe her when she says that's the last thing she wants right now. I can always hope that attitude stays on for the entire time she's here Undecided Tongue

Damn. I'm not going to say anything out loud, but.....does anyone else think MTV, and MTV2 are the worst TV stations in existence at the moment Tongue With exception to the Christian networks of course. Undecided

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02-07-2013, 03:38 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
(02-07-2013 02:33 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Nursing is what she wants, Scully. Her dad is one, and she wants that too.

That's great, G. I'm a nurse too, so I'm kinda biased that way. Wink

Quote:I didn't know she had already had an abortion. She indirectly asked how I felt, but I just cut right to it; if you're O.K. with that decision then I'm O.K. with it, if you aren't we can talk. She just hugged me all of a sudden, and nothing more was said about it. Which I was shamefully glad of, because that's about all I had! It went from there to talk about the complete lack of unauthorized guests in my house. Given our talks about her past I believe her when she says that's the last thing she wants right now. I can always hope that attitude stays on for the entire time she's here Undecided Tongue

It sounds to me like she is looking for a fresh start - it was so awesome the way you handled her disclosure about having an abortion. She sounds like she's felt judged up the yin-yang by everyone else - that must have felt like a breath of fresh air to her.

Quote:Damn. I'm not going to say anything out loud, but.....does anyone else think MTV, and MTV2 are the worst TV stations in existence at the moment Tongue With exception to the Christian networks of course. Undecided

My kid used to pollute my PVR with The Maury Show and Jersey Shore, as well as Toddlers in Tiaras and Here Comes Honey BooBoo, recorded every damn episode (deleting my scheduled recordings in order to do so!) - I was so happy when she finally lost interest in them. In all honesty, I can't even be in the same room when those shows are on, the blatant stupidity infuriates me to no end!!!

Would your niece be interested in those Life in the ER types of shows that are on The Learning Channel?

. . . all the gods were stories we told the children to make them behave. ~ Thoros of Myr (Game of Thrones, Episode 3:06)
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02-07-2013, 05:32 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
Remember to acknowledge anything positive...even if it's just a quick mention. You don't have to gush, just let her know that you notice.

She has a history of battling her other family members that she doesn't have with you. You and she can write your own script.

I am rooting for you both!

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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02-07-2013, 06:31 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
(02-07-2013 05:32 PM)Anjele Wrote:  She has a history of battling her other family members that she doesn't have with you. You and she can write your own script. ... I am rooting for you both!

Me too!

(02-07-2013 02:33 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Nursing is what she wants, Scully. Her dad is one, and she wants that too.

I'm pretty sure I read in more than one place that RNs will be the profession most in demand for the next decade or more. Even more so than programmers. I'm trying to convince a couple of my offspring to consider it. Thumbsup

(02-07-2013 02:33 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Given our talks about her past I believe her when she says that's the last thing she wants right now. I can always hope that attitude stays on for the entire time she's here Undecided Tongue

TheGulegon's old enough to have been played enough to know how to not get played by just keeping an eye out for whether he's being played or not. Wink
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I got good vibes here. This could be great for both of you. You're doing the right thing TheGulegon. Big Grin

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-07-2013, 06:37 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
(02-07-2013 02:33 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  Nursing is what she wants, Scully. Her dad is one, and she wants that too.

I didn't know she had already had an abortion. She indirectly asked how I felt, but I just cut right to it; if you're O.K. with that decision then I'm O.K. with it, if you aren't we can talk. She just hugged me all of a sudden, and nothing more was said about it. Which I was shamefully glad of, because that's about all I had! It went from there to talk about the complete lack of unauthorized guests in my house. Given our talks about her past I believe her when she says that's the last thing she wants right now. I can always hope that attitude stays on for the entire time she's here Undecided Tongue

Damn. I'm not going to say anything out loud, but.....does anyone else think MTV, and MTV2 are the worst TV stations in existence at the moment Tongue With exception to the Christian networks of course. Undecided

You weren't judgmental and that was what she needed...you maybe didn't have a lot but you had just the right thing.

Sounds to me like you have pretty good instincts.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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02-07-2013, 06:59 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
(02-07-2013 01:51 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  I'm swiftly coming to the conclusion that maybe some of the stories I've been told are slightly exaggerated! Girl's got her GED, has some sort of scholarship, and recieved a pell grant. All confirmed by family. Still not an angel; talked all the way home, and most of our free time since. Don't want to talk about any of it, but she seems to want to move forward.

Yesterday I took her to PizzaHut, McDonalds, Sonic, Taco Johns, and Family Dollar to put in apps here in town so she could walk to work if absolutely necessary.

I've already allowed her her cell back so long as she talks on it with me in the room. She seems mostly interested in typing on facebook. Today she used it to call up this nursing home to see if they do CSA training. Cerified Nursing Assistant, I think. 10.1 miles from us. Don't know how I'll swing it, but will figure something out.

.....should I feel bad that a problem child has her shit together better than her Uncle? Tongue

This is certainly not what I expected to hear! Just from this post it sounds like maybe the problem lay not with your niece huh?

We just happen to have my wife's 9 year old niece with us for two weeks and what we find is that all of the issues and acting out she has and does with her mother go away when she is with us. Water and vinegar personalities. Maybe that could be the issues with your niece too?

Please keep us up to date.

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02-07-2013, 07:46 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
Our local hospital will reimburse nurses about 90% of school costs with a 2 year contract after graduation.

Other places have a fast track program.

your response in regards to the abortion was perfect, EXACTLY all that she needed and wanted. Heart


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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02-07-2013, 10:23 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
Just a few quick questions, and these questions will not comfort you, but they need to be answered if your niece is now becoming your "responsibility".

Is she just unruly, meaning she just acts like a jerk to those she lives with or is she delinquent, meaning she commits crimes such as stealing etc.

Is she involved with the court? Any open charges, probation or anything like that?

Are Children's Services involved? Who actually has legal custody of the youth? Are you taking legal custody? These issues will become important when it comes to school and what may become legal issues. Most courts will only deal with legal custodians or guardians, and if her legal guardian lives in another county this will just complicate things if she comes to live with you and starts getting involved with the court. School enrollment may be another issue as well.

As I said, these questions will not make things sound better, but they are items that need to be addressed before this happens.

"Now I don't want to be sane either, but I'm just saying there may be other delusions and hallucinations worthy of consideration before jumping to an irrational conclusion, that's all."
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02-07-2013, 10:29 PM
RE: I'm so scared!
(02-07-2013 01:51 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  I'm swiftly coming to the conclusion that maybe some of the stories I've been told are slightly exaggerated! Girl's got her GED, has some sort of scholarship, and recieved a pell grant. All confirmed by family. Still not an angel; talked all the way home, and most of our free time since. Don't want to talk about any of it, but she seems to want to move forward.

Yesterday I took her to PizzaHut, McDonalds, Sonic, Taco Johns, and Family Dollar to put in apps here in town so she could walk to work if absolutely necessary.

I've already allowed her her cell back so long as she talks on it with me in the room. She seems mostly interested in typing on facebook. Today she used it to call up this nursing home to see if they do CSA training. Cerified Nursing Assistant, I think. 10.1 miles from us. Don't know how I'll swing it, but will figure something out.

.....should I feel bad that a problem child has her shit together better than her Uncle? Tongue

Oh crap. NM on my initial response as it was written in reply to the first few panic striken posts Tongue So, she isn't a juvenile? And it does look as though things aren't so bad after all. I hope it works out and maybe you might find you're going to be a good role model after all. Smile

"Now I don't want to be sane either, but I'm just saying there may be other delusions and hallucinations worthy of consideration before jumping to an irrational conclusion, that's all."
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06-07-2013, 07:16 AM
RE: I'm so scared!
Yeah Scully, MTV is aweful LoL. Can't remember the name of it but these parents were picking dates for their kids....came across like "reality" TV for minors Undecided

She starts work here in town Monday at the local grocery store, but that Nursing home is what I'd like to get her doing as soon as one of us can arrange consistent transport. Apparently you work for the home as they're training you. So it's paycheck + training. Obviously, RN or better later, but CNA training is easy and can happen quick; 3 weeks or less training. She wants it, and I want it for her.

I think you hit the nail on the head Full Circle. Knowing my brother's manipulative ass like I do, I think the trouble stemmed from her guardians. Her mother's crazy, her dad is a super control freak, and her Aunt was using her money to go to the casinos (I can't actually confirm that but it wouldn't surprise me), but she's been a sweetheart so far, here. Puts the dishes in the washer, and then puts them up. Cleans, folds, and hangs up her clothes (I won't let her do the sheets, or towels; I got a process damn it Tongue ).

It'd be so much easier if she could drive, but she's got a DUI under her belt so I don't know about that. We'll have to look into it. Even if she had it, I only have the Buick, and the Torino.....and nobody touches the Torino without loosing the hand they used to scuff the shine Evil_monster Tongue Most of her other crimes were petty and will disappear from her record when she hits 18, I think. No felonies though, thank coincidence!!

That is correct Girly! It is difficult to bullshit a bullshitter Big Grin ......but I don't think she's into bullshitting! It's actually nice having a niece around (so far; the paranoid part of me is still looking for the other foot to drop/shoe to fall...I forget which one Undecided )! It's almost like I'm not needed, or just needed to provide the roof-over-head thing. She takes care of herself.....and me Confused I had to work the 4th; got home and she'd walked up to the store she's gonna work at and bought us one of those Lasagna platters you stick in the oven. Had it ready when I got home Sadcryface She laughed when I asked..."ohhhh. K. .....what do you want? What is it I'm being buttered up for? Get the feeling once the rabbit is hypnotized by the carrot in your left hand, it'll find out the stunning effect of the stick in your right" Undecided

Nah, but things are going better than I could have imagined. At some point I'm not going to have anything to say because, like I said, she takes care of herself. Blink Are all 16 yo this self sufficient? My head was up my ass that young....Consider....

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