I'm so tired of it all
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02-06-2013, 05:20 PM
I'm so tired of it all
When I came out as an Atheist almost a year ago, my family did not take it well. I come from an entirely Fundamentalist Christian family, except for my sister who is a liberal Christian. When my mother asked me to explain my reasoning for being Atheist, I told her about the Bibles many fallacies, Yahweh is inherently immoral, and after much thought about it I could no longer follow Christianity. My mother told me that God would strike me down for my blasphemy and I would continue going to church despite how I felt about it. Typical Christian response, hurts a bit, but whatever.

Ever since then though things have been going downhill. I've struggled with depression/bipolar disorder for awhile, my mom knows this. After coming out she attributes my depression to not having God in my life, demons attacking my mind, and God allowing things to happen to me because I "turned my back on him". She now believes I'll become exactly like my dad who is physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and down right manipulative.

For a year now I've been feeling extremely isolated and lonely. I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family anymore without attributing all my problems to being Atheist. No one seems to understand my depression stems from dealing with an abusive father for most of my life. They don't seem to understand I'm lonely because they rejected me at a point when I just wanted their acceptance and love despite being Atheist. I almost wish I could go back to being Christian, but I know I can't. Everything just sucks right now Weeping

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02-06-2013, 05:57 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
(02-06-2013 05:20 PM)Ratatat Wrote:  When I came out as an Atheist almost a year ago, my family did not take it well. I come from an entirely Fundamentalist Christian family, except for my sister who is a liberal Christian. When my mother asked me to explain my reasoning for being Atheist, I told her about the Bibles many fallacies, Yahweh is inherently immoral, and after much thought about it I could no longer follow Christianity. My mother told me that God would strike me down for my blasphemy and I would continue going to church despite how I felt about it. Typical Christian response, hurts a bit, but whatever.

Ever since then though things have been going downhill. I've struggled with depression/bipolar disorder for awhile, my mom knows this. After coming out she attributes my depression to not having God in my life, demons attacking my mind, and God allowing things to happen to me because I "turned my back on him". She now believes I'll become exactly like my dad who is physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and down right manipulative.

For a year now I've been feeling extremely isolated and lonely. I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family anymore without attributing all my problems to being Atheist. No one seems to understand my depression stems from dealing with an abusive father for most of my life. They don't seem to understand I'm lonely because they rejected me at a point when I just wanted their acceptance and love despite being Atheist. I almost wish I could go back to being Christian, but I know I can't. Everything just sucks right now Weeping

Are you over 18?

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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02-06-2013, 05:58 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
I'll be turning 19 in December.

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02-06-2013, 06:05 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. From the way you write this I assume you are a teenager. I was 18 when I went through a similar experience.

Having endured it and survived it and now looking back I'll give you a few thoughts and some advice.

Your mom wants what is best for you in her own way. She fears for your immortal soul. You don't have to believe it, you just have to remember she does. She believes she's helping you, look at it that way and be gentle with her.

I don't know just how abusive your father is, so tread softly and avoid conflict.

You are not alone and you are not the first to deal with this kind of emotional trauma. One day at a time was, in my case, how I got through it. School became a refuge so I dove into homework like a fanatic. I joined as many after school programs as I could to avoid coming home. Maybe you can do the same.

If you enter a discussion ask her if she believes God loves all his children and remind her that even Jesus questioned His own father "Why have you forsaken me?"

Tell her you are doing the best you can and it is not your intent to hurt them.

A day will come when you are out of the house and can support yourself. Until then, really, the best thing to do is keep your head low and avoid the topic as much as possible.

There are others on this forum who I'm sure will give you even better advice. Come here as often as you like to talk things out.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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02-06-2013, 06:08 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
Oh... Hug it's tough lil' Rat but you aren't alone. Feel free to hang here as much and as long as you can stand. Not saying we're good for much but well, we're here... and that's kind of like support.

We're an international forum so there are people like you, all over the world. There may even be a few who share circumstances similar to yours. There's usually someone on here at any time of day, from somewhere on the planet; you really aren't as alone as you feel. Check the place out and get to know people. I'm glad you're here.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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02-06-2013, 06:10 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
Everyone else kinda said the good stuff. You're not alone.

Welcome to TTA!

Hug

It will become easier.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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02-06-2013, 06:58 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
(02-06-2013 05:58 PM)Ratatat Wrote:  I'll be turning 19 in December.

If that's true, then you can legally move out of your parent's house. Do you have some sympathetic friends who you could crash with until you can get back on your feet? Also what are your plans for the future? Military? College? There are a lot of options for your future.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are a lot of other people out there in very similar circumstances, particularly minors in religious homes who have a hard road to travel when they become apostate. I would like to see TTA or some other atheist websites like RichardDawkins.net provide links and resources for people in your situation who are trying to deal with being an atheist in a religious family.

Hang in there...It gets better

and......

[Image: dontgiveup.png]

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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02-06-2013, 07:04 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
Thankfully I do not live with my Christian family and they reluctantly accept that I'm Atheist. However, I remember how much their Christian ideals got on my nerves when I did live with them. I also remember picking my battles. If they were talking about god, church etc I just ignored them and didn't bother talking about it at all. There was no point in arguing with them because in the end we still wouldn't agree. Try to stay connected with your family if you can. Talk with them about things other than your depression and their God. Even if it's just boring chit chat it will maintain some degree of a bond with them. I often feel isolated and depressed too though for reasons different from yours. Nonetheless the feelings are more or less the same. Reaching out to other like minded people is a good way to not feel so alone and down. Welcome. ~hope & hugs

"Believe me, nothing is trivial." ~Eric Draven
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02-06-2013, 07:49 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
Thanks to everyone for the support and advice it's much appreciated Smile
(02-06-2013 06:58 PM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:  
(02-06-2013 05:58 PM)Ratatat Wrote:  I'll be turning 19 in December.

If that's true, then you can legally move out of your parent's house. Do you have some sympathetic friends who you could crash with until you can get back on your feet? Also what are your plans for the future? Military? College? There are a lot of options for your future.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are a lot of other people out there in very similar circumstances, particularly minors in religious homes who have a hard road to travel when they become apostate. I would like to see TTA or some other atheist websites like RichardDawkins.net provide links and resources for people in your situation who are trying to deal with being an atheist in a religious family.

Hang in there...It gets better

and......

[Image: dontgiveup.png]
As for my future I plan on going to college, possibly moving on campus if I have the money.

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02-06-2013, 08:33 PM
RE: I'm so tired of it all
you are not alone....in fact I think there is a teen board on this forum.

You aren't going to go back to being a believer and your family isn't open to changing their stance. No point in continuing to fight over it if you can help it.

Stay out of the cross hairs until you can find a way to move out.

See your doc about the medical conditions.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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