I'm still scared of public atheism.
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25-07-2014, 04:54 PM
I'm still scared of public atheism.
Adrianime, I can really relate to what you describe. I feel exactly the same way. I have a lot of very religious people in my family and I prefer to just not bring it up. It seems lately a couple if them have become more vocal and assertive in their religious posts on FB.

My mother was always so. She has tried to make me feel guilty when I've brought it up in the past. But mostly she just doesn't seem to comprehend and I don't feel its useful in any way to try to explain t in words. I prefer to show people who I am through deeds and let them decide for themselves how they feel about me without ideologies getting in the way. My mom and I get along fine when we just don't discuss. I think we may finally have come to a peaceful agreement to leave it be. I know I'm happier this way. She seems to be, but I'm afraid to ask her.

My brother though....no, I will avoid that conversation at great cost. He's...how to say this...creepy religious. I recall many years ago when I, aged 15 or so, had just returned with him on a hike, and he "laid hands" on me (no, not sexual) and spoke in tongues....for over an hour (felt like). Scared the crap out of me. I will avoid discussing ideologies if any kind with him until the day I die probably. Don't think he will change and that's fine. I won't ask him to. I love him for who he is. He has a big heart full of love and I respect that. He had a rough start in life and I can see that religion changed it and is rather not tamper with that. I also don't want to lose what amiability we still have. I've seen him post anti-atheist sentiments on FB. The first time I wondered if it were some subtle hint to me. Then I recalled he doesn't really do subtle. I think I'm safe for now.

I also recall a few years back that my nephew and niece both asked me what I believed. At that time I was still a fairly new non-believer and still hadn't decided what I believe. I recall my nephew responding with curiosity and honesty. My niece responded with fear and discomfort. Now, probably about 7-8 years later, he is married to a brilliant physical therapist and just had his first child. They named him Sagan, after Carl. But I still haven't directly asked him about his beliefs. I'm afraid to for most of the reasons you listed. Don't want this to define our relationship in any way. We get along so well and I'd hate for anything to happen to that. Meanwhile my niece, pretty much like her mom, is a strongly religious party girl. I know, doesn't make sense to me either, but that's pretty much like her mom/my sister. We barely get along now but are amiable and see each other once in a while. I'd hate to lose even that and suspect I would. I've seen her glare at others for even less and know she's prone to holding a grudge (something I hate to see anyone do).

See? I can write too much too! I also have a lot of feelings about this struggle. FB amplifies my fears and frustrations about this.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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25-07-2014, 05:26 PM
RE: I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 04:54 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  Adrianime, I can really relate to what you describe. I feel exactly the same way.
[...]
See? I can write too much too! I also have a lot of feelings about this struggle. FB amplifies my fears and frustrations about this.
I read it all, thanks for sharing! It's always helpful to hear what others go through. it's just so interesting that the religious (or at least Christians) generally talk about or promote their views openly, while people like us are afraid (or at least hesitant) to put in our two cents because we think it will be a source of contention.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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25-07-2014, 05:34 PM
I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 05:26 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(25-07-2014 04:54 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  Adrianime, I can really relate to what you describe. I feel exactly the same way.
[...]
See? I can write too much too! I also have a lot of feelings about this struggle. FB amplifies my fears and frustrations about this.
I read it all, thanks for sharing! It's always helpful to hear what others go through. it's just so interesting that the religious (or at least Christians) generally talk about or promote their views openly, while people like us are afraid (or at least hesitant) to put in our two cents because we think it will be a source of contention.

Well, in the US and a few other countries, they do have the advantage of being the accepted belief system.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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25-07-2014, 05:35 PM
RE: I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 03:29 PM)morondog Wrote:  I have lost friends over it. I have one good mate whom I've been chirping for years who's a Christian, but he's a good guy... other than that, I no longer feel the need. TTA is good for me that way. I have challenged a bit - sometimes, on FB, someone'll put something too retarded up, and I'll chirp, but I don't make it obvious that it's from an atheist angle, and I don't push the anti-religion stuff.

Told family *once* due to... extreme circumstances. No comeback, but I decline to pursue it further. I don't bother them about it, they don't bother me. Fam (and friends, come to think of it) talk about their stuff pretty constantly - apart from bro, who's the same as me, it's part of their lives. Just normal.

I've made quite a lot of secular friends the last couple of years.
Yeah, the thought of changing the dynamic of any of my interpersonal relationships keeps me scared. I feel like I should be able to say to my friends, "Hey Rhea, What exactly do you believe, and how come you believe what you do?" Or, "Hey Jae, have you ever thought about questioning the beliefs you were raised with?" Even when I say it like that I feel like I'm ...being offensive in some way. Even though they are just honest open questions.

(25-07-2014 03:31 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I must be a bad person. I talk about it with lots of people, and I'm very vocal atheist/anti-theist on my FB page. Lol. I think I gave up caring what people thought about my atheism a long time ago. But I can understand why most people are more cautious.
Nah, there is nothing wrong with it, assuming you aren't obnoxious or anything. I try at the very least to not be like the religious who say stuff like what my sister posted 2 days ago in a facebook post, "Honesty is good. I'm Christian and we try to take the high road. ..." Excuse me while I go use mouthwash to cover up the vomit taste in my mouth.

(25-07-2014 04:20 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I'm a mixed bag. Hubby is a believer so I don't rock the boat with him except to raise a question now and then, he knows where I stand. His uber religious family is probably getting some strong hints because of my likes and occasional posts but none have dared to ask. His one niece knows, she is atheist too.

My daughters ages 9 & 11 and I discuss religion openly and freely. They both identify as agnostic. Both went with me and met Seth and stayed for his talk.

My siblings are mostly atheist. One brother fell for it when he married his Catholic wife, but he is
cool with everyone doing their own thing.

But I live in the south, border of NC & SC. I am hesitant to tell neighbors, or get into conversations with the parents of the children my kids choose. Pretty much we just say " we don't go to church". We moved to a new neighborhood recently. My girls became fast friends with the boy across the street. I couldn't help myself, I had to ask " did you go to church yesterday ?" It seems the only safe way to ask. His reply was that his family doesn't go to church. I told him we don't either and had a sigh if relief. While I met his parents and they seemed like a great couple it was nice to know we won't have that issue. I won't go so far to assume they are atheist but the fact that they live in the south and don't attend church is a good sign.
So glad I don't live in the "South"! Yeah that is a very clever way of asking somebody how serious they are, "How was church yesterday?" Haha, I like it. Were you secretly evaluating your daughters' possible friend?

When you say "One brother fell for it" Do you mean, "One brother fell for the lie that is Catholicism"? Thumbsup

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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25-07-2014, 05:37 PM
RE: I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 05:34 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  Well, in the US and a few other countries, they do have the advantage of being the accepted belief system.
That won't be the case in 50 years...after the revolution Drinking Beverage

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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25-07-2014, 05:38 PM
I'm still scared of public atheism.
You guys are planning a revolution without me? Weeping

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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25-07-2014, 07:16 PM
RE: I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 05:35 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(25-07-2014 04:20 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I'm a mixed bag. Hubby is a believer so I don't rock the boat with him except to raise a question now and then, he knows where I stand. His uber religious family is probably getting some strong hints because of my likes and occasional posts but none have dared to ask. His one niece knows, she is atheist too.

My daughters ages 9 & 11 and I discuss religion openly and freely. They both identify as agnostic. Both went with me and met Seth and stayed for his talk.

My siblings are mostly atheist. One brother fell for it when he married his Catholic wife, but he is
cool with everyone doing their own thing.

But I live in the south, border of NC & SC. I am hesitant to tell neighbors, or get into conversations with the parents of the children my kids choose. Pretty much we just say " we don't go to church". We moved to a new neighborhood recently. My girls became fast friends with the boy across the street. I couldn't help myself, I had to ask " did you go to church yesterday ?" It seems the only safe way to ask. His reply was that his family doesn't go to church. I told him we don't either and had a sigh if relief. While I met his parents and they seemed like a great couple it was nice to know we won't have that issue. I won't go so far to assume they are atheist but the fact that they live in the south and don't attend church is a good sign.
So glad I don't live in the "South"! Yeah that is a very clever way of asking somebody how serious they are, "How was church yesterday?" Haha, I like it. Were you secretly evaluating your daughters' possible friend?

When you say "One brother fell for it" Do you mean, "One brother fell for the lie that is Catholicism"? Thumbsup


Yes and yes. I was responding from my phone and trying to type fast.

How was church? Where do you attend church? Etc. The easy way to begin. Since church is a big way of life here for most of the population, it's a fairly typical question and most people don't get offended by it, and those that don't attend usually feel the same relief when I "admit" that we don't attend either. You can almost see the look of relief on their faces.

My brother- yes, he was sucked into the Catholic world by his wife. My Mom was raised Catholic but didn't attend after she got married in her early 20's. My Dad didn't label himself but didn't shy away from discussing how strange he thought religious people could be. So we were all raised in a secular home. 1 half way religious kid out of 5 kids - I guess my parents did ok


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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26-07-2014, 01:32 AM
RE: I'm still scared of public atheism.
(25-07-2014 05:37 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(25-07-2014 05:34 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  Well, in the US and a few other countries, they do have the advantage of being the accepted belief system.
That won't be the case in 50 years...after the revolution Drinking Beverage

We have to find and shoot the Sirius Cybernetics Corps before we can proceed with the revolution Drinking Beverage

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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26-07-2014, 08:43 AM
I'm still scared of public atheism.
(26-07-2014 01:32 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(25-07-2014 05:37 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  That won't be the case in 50 years...after the revolution Drinking Beverage

We have to find and shoot the Sirius Cybernetics Corps before we can proceed with the revolution Drinking Beverage

Ah, I get ya! Wink

Ok then call me when I'm needed.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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