I'm terrified.
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28-02-2016, 12:49 PM
I'm terrified.
Hello to all,

So here is my story in a nutshell. I was raised in a Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Christian environment. I went to Bible College (non-accredited, of course) and graduated. I got married at 25 years old to a woman who was cut from the same cloth as I was. We have three young boys together and they are AMAZING!. After 10 years of marriage, we are getting a divorce. I no longer believe the dogma of the church and am not convinced that any gods exist. In a word, I'm an atheist. This is something that I thought I'd never be, but I guess life is very unexpected.


So here's one of my problems, I'm terrified. Of what? Everything! Of being alone, not having friends, having no money (I have learned that I will be getting racked in spousal support and child support), of being found out at my job (atheist are not looked upon favorably) and just having to start over at the age of 35. I'm a very relational person and I fear that I'm gonna have a hard time being alone. My kids mean the world to me, and I'm not looking forward to losing the ability to see them when I get home.

Also, I am so mad at myself for not investigating the this stuff earlier in life. I feel like I've been cheated out of a large portion of my life. For me, the sexual repression of the church's teaching had a huge effect. I fully bought into everything without questioning it....I actually didn't have sex until I was married. And now, here I am, beginning my life over again. And one of the worst parts is this, my wife has been seeing a Christian Therapist through the church. And ever since then, my wife sees and treats me like one of the worst human being she has ever met. I really feel like religion (and in this case Christianity) ruins everything and uses the family as a weapon to further it's own agendas.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent and get some stuff out. I guess the good new is that I'm still young and have many years ahead of me....hopefully. So, I'm starting over with a personal relationship with reality - and I'm terrified!

Greg
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28-02-2016, 01:13 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
Welcome, you'll find people here with similar stories, stick around.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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28-02-2016, 01:18 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
Sounds like you are getting taken to the cleaners, unfairly ... child support yes. "Spousal support" ? Why ? Why are you not getting shared custody ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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28-02-2016, 02:08 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys. You've found a home. Smile

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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28-02-2016, 02:24 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
(28-02-2016 12:49 PM)greghalmaghi Wrote:  Hello to all,

So here is my story in a nutshell. I was raised in a Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Christian environment. I went to Bible College (non-accredited, of course) and graduated. I got married at 25 years old to a woman who was cut from the same cloth as I was. We have three young boys together and they are AMAZING!. After 10 years of marriage, we are getting a divorce. I no longer believe the dogma of the church and am not convinced that any gods exist. In a word, I'm an atheist. This is something that I thought I'd never be, but I guess life is very unexpected.


So here's one of my problems, I'm terrified. Of what? Everything! Of being alone, not having friends, having no money (I have learned that I will be getting racked in spousal support and child support), of being found out at my job (atheist are not looked upon favorably) and just having to start over at the age of 35. I'm a very relational person and I fear that I'm gonna have a hard time being alone. My kids mean the world to me, and I'm not looking forward to losing the ability to see them when I get home.

Also, I am so mad at myself for not investigating the this stuff earlier in life. I feel like I've been cheated out of a large portion of my life. For me, the sexual repression of the church's teaching had a huge effect. I fully bought into everything without questioning it....I actually didn't have sex until I was married. And now, here I am, beginning my life over again. And one of the worst parts is this, my wife has been seeing a Christian Therapist through the church. And ever since then, my wife sees and treats me like one of the worst human being she has ever met. I really feel like religion (and in this case Christianity) ruins everything and uses the family as a weapon to further it's own agendas.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent and get some stuff out. I guess the good new is that I'm still young and have many years ahead of me....hopefully. So, I'm starting over with a personal relationship with reality - and I'm terrified!

Greg

It's always the fuckin' way with these religtards. You either stay within the fold or they make your life hell. That way, noone else will even think of leaving. Do you get the feeling that christardology isn't quite right - given what they do? What happened to peace, love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness? You know - the shit that christards pretend to practice.

There is life outside of christardology. There's chemistry, biology, physics, astronomy, literature, art, philosophy, economics, sociology and it just goes on and on. Life outside christardology is a real life with the added advantage of being devoid of the christarology shit to drag you back into bronze age thinking. It's wonderful.

There are people who don't believe in sky wizards in the world. Some of them are even good and loyal people, even though they are devoid of religtardology. They too are real people with the added advantage of not talking religious shit.

Do what you can to talk to the boys about turning away from religtardology. Young minds are so impressionable. There ought to be a law against exposing people below the age of consent to religtardology. It is so damaging.

There's lots of people in your position. You need to join such groups and get to know the members. They'll understand you better than anyone because they've gone through the same thing as you and come out the other side.

Hang on in there. The worst thing that you can do is to go back to a cult that treats you in this manner. Where's their humanity ffs?

You take care, y'hear?

Marburg virus, Ebola, Rabies, HIV, Smallpox, Hantavirus, Dengue Fever all brought to you by god - who cares for us and loves us all Censored
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28-02-2016, 02:32 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
Sorry to hear about all those things you're going through Hug

Hope you'll feel welcome on TTA. Feel free to vent and look for support here, we've all had our stories and the community can be very supportive.

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-Guybrush Threepwood-
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28-02-2016, 02:38 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
Welcome. There are many here who share your story.

If your divorce settlement is not final, then make sure you get good council. It's very important and not the place to skimp.

35 is a good age to start over. Old enough to know what you want and young enough to do it.

You'll be ok. Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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28-02-2016, 02:42 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
The anger and fear will pass. This is a good place to come to see that. Smile Welcome
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28-02-2016, 02:47 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
God has played no part in your life. So nothing to be scared.

Janus has played no part in your life. Nor has Jupiter or Thor.

Welcome.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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28-02-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: I'm terrified.
(28-02-2016 12:49 PM)greghalmaghi Wrote:  Hello to all,

So here is my story in a nutshell. I was raised in a Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Christian environment. I went to Bible College (non-accredited, of course) and graduated. I got married at 25 years old to a woman who was cut from the same cloth as I was. We have three young boys together and they are AMAZING!. After 10 years of marriage, we are getting a divorce. I no longer believe the dogma of the church and am not convinced that any gods exist. In a word, I'm an atheist. This is something that I thought I'd never be, but I guess life is very unexpected.


So here's one of my problems, I'm terrified. Of what? Everything! Of being alone, not having friends, having no money (I have learned that I will be getting racked in spousal support and child support), of being found out at my job (atheist are not looked upon favorably) and just having to start over at the age of 35. I'm a very relational person and I fear that I'm gonna have a hard time being alone. My kids mean the world to me, and I'm not looking forward to losing the ability to see them when I get home.

Also, I am so mad at myself for not investigating the this stuff earlier in life. I feel like I've been cheated out of a large portion of my life. For me, the sexual repression of the church's teaching had a huge effect. I fully bought into everything without questioning it....I actually didn't have sex until I was married. And now, here I am, beginning my life over again. And one of the worst parts is this, my wife has been seeing a Christian Therapist through the church. And ever since then, my wife sees and treats me like one of the worst human being she has ever met. I really feel like religion (and in this case Christianity) ruins everything and uses the family as a weapon to further it's own agendas.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent and get some stuff out. I guess the good new is that I'm still young and have many years ahead of me....hopefully. So, I'm starting over with a personal relationship with reality - and I'm terrified!

Greg

First off... welcome! Smile

Is your wife incapable of working or untrained (you did say she's from a very religious background, they are not known for educating their breeders much), otherwise why are you giving out anything but child support? Not being nosey and not expecting an answer but it might be the state you're in but unless you are simply agreeing to support her so she can stay home with your kids (that does happen and if you can afford that great) she should be looking to earn her own way or at least provide a basic income for herself.

You didn't state that your atheism is the cause or part of the cause for the divorce but anger does happen when people rightly expect one thing and one kind of behavior and then the other person changes in a way that's unexpected. It happens but I think you can understand the hurt, disappointment and anger that can come from those dashed expectations. Be patient, it might get better as she adjusts to life in a different way.

Maybe even offer to go to counseling together for the benefit of a happy relationship for your kids. I will say document everything, I'm serious, you never know what you might need in the future to protect your rights to see your kids so don't take anything for granted, document, document, document.

As for feeling alone, many atheist who've converted feel this loss of connectivity. There are groups to join, atheist and otherwise. Find yourself a community that is not around religion but around a common interest or hobby.

Don't talk religion at work, no matter what. Just state "I don't talk religion, sex or politics at work, ever." Then just don't.

Sorry, no advice for the "no money" you have kids... no money, that's a given. Quality of life is about relationship not stuff. Be creative and money won't matter much as long as you can pay the bills.

This is a great place. You made your first step in atheist support and it's a good one. We are feisty and we have fun BUT.... to join this monkey house you must contribute one banana, payable on demand. *holds out hand*
Big Grin

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