I need help in becoming more social.
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06-08-2014, 09:40 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
(06-08-2014 09:36 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(06-08-2014 09:33 PM)JDog554 Wrote:  I find this hard to believe, you are very interesting and I love having conversations with you.

Proves the point that eventually you find the 'right' people to converse with. Smile

Yup, me and her have some stuff in common that we can talk about, that's the trick, to put yourself in a crowd that shares interests with you so you have things to talk about. If you like comics go to Comic Con. If you like music go to a concert, ect.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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07-08-2014, 05:40 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
As someone else said, practice makes perfect. Things like body language are a significant part of conversing with people. Practice learning to read their body language to know when they are not interested in a topic so you can change it. Also, learn to present yourself how you want to with your body language. Little things like being overly animated or being monotone are picked up easily by people and can make them uncomfortable.

But the most important thing I think would be that these are teenage years. Teenagers are flighty and unpredictable, it is likely to become easier for you to find people that you connect with later on. Granted, that does not help now - but I think it is always helpful to keep in mind that it can get better. You are always meeting new people in life, and each time that happens you have another chance that person is someone you can connect with.
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07-08-2014, 06:27 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
(07-08-2014 05:40 PM)Michael Colton Wrote:  As someone else said, practice makes perfect. Things like body language are a significant part of conversing with people. Practice learning to read their body language to know when they are not interested in a topic so you can change it. Also, learn to present yourself how you want to with your body language. Little things like being overly animated or being monotone are picked up easily by people and can make them uncomfortable.

But the most important thing I think would be that these are teenage years. Teenagers are flighty and unpredictable, it is likely to become easier for you to find people that you connect with later on. Granted, that does not help now - but I think it is always helpful to keep in mind that it can get better. You are always meeting new people in life, and each time that happens you have another chance that person is someone you can connect with.

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07-08-2014, 10:14 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
Try asking others questions. When they mention something that you enjoy also, talk more on that subject.

It seems to me that you are wanting to bring others into your areas of expertise, which could be boring to others, or they feel intimidated because you already know so much on those topics.

The key is finding things you have in common. So ask them questions.


When you are in a group setting, seek out the other quiet people and start a conversation with them. Ask them questions.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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07-08-2014, 11:39 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
(07-08-2014 10:14 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  ...
Ask them questions.

Nailed it.

Everyone's favourite subject... Themselves!

"Do go on..."
"Wow, really? That's interesting..."
"Tell me more"

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08-08-2014, 10:35 AM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
I got nothing for you. If I get stuck in a room with people I do not know I will not start a conversation with anyone. Often times in a room with people I do know I will not say much. I have never been a social person.
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08-08-2014, 10:37 AM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
I'd also like to add that confidence and body language play a big roll in how approachable one is.
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08-08-2014, 11:30 AM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
How old are you if you do not mind me asking?

Let me say , don't try to impress people. If you do not have things common with others that is normal. I cant socialize on superficial stuff. That kind of thing I do very rarely. I need to socialize the most with people I have things in common with. My former coworkers didn't understand why I liked being at home by myself. Because other than the NFL we had nothing in common. They all believed, were not news or debate junkies like me. I get that online and have few real friends. No one who says they have lots of friends is telling the truth. The people that really care about you are a very few.

I used to do the party social thing when I was younger. I am much older and deeper in my thought now and I'd prefer being at home on line with other atheists, than spending money with people who may be nice, but I have nothing in common with.

Just be yourself.

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08-08-2014, 12:27 PM
RE: I need help in becoming more social.
I was talking to a girl at the checkout yesterday. I think she is incredibly cute. I almost never approach women, I much prefer a friends introduction. Anyway, I'm quite introverted, so my techniques can seem forced and shaky. She implied I was creepy. So I said "I'm not creepy, I'm just a bumbling, endearing social retard."... I don't think she bought it.

Feels bad man. But the point is, ... I don't know. Something something keep trying until one of you is dead.
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