I need some help.
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15-07-2015, 09:35 AM
RE: I need some help.
Your mother is engaging in emotional blackmail. If you cave to it it will just encourage her to continue.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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15-07-2015, 01:23 PM
RE: I need some help.
(15-07-2015 09:32 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  You sound like a pretty awesome kid, FreeThinker. Don't let the parents get you down. You wouldn't believe the shit I had to go through with mine, and I'm straight! (They thought I wasn't for a while, going so far as to call a girl I tried to introduce them to, with whom I'd been living almost 2 years at that point, my "beard", because some preacher told them that atheism would turn me gay!) Rolleyes

We're okay, now, but it took from my deconversion when I was ages 17-22 (17, when I first rejected Christianity, and 22, at which point I gave up on social-acceptance/appeasement attempts entirely and realized I was actually just an atheist) until when I was nearly 30 before we spoke on any serious level. The biggest part of it in my case was that my parents are both highly educated (mom, in particular, is a tenured professor and department head at an Evangelical Christian private university called Louisiana College, retiring this summer, which made her sense of self-righteousness and rightness much worse, and my youthful "arrogance", in her view, intolerable and worthy of deep disrespect toward me in return), or mis-educated, and it exacerbated the problems you describe above. Sad

The good news is, I felt freer than ever, though sad at how "lost and clueless" my parents were. It took exploding the whole family and nearly losing touch with all three of their children before they realized their insane ideas might be The Problem, not their misguided/defiant children, as the preachers were telling them. My siblings and I are all really great people, and all have differing but free-thinking religious philosophies. My brother's remains my favorite... he claims he's an "Ijustdontgiveafuckist". Direct quote.

Thank you very much!

I know it'll all be better once I get back to my dorm room in a few weeks.

We talked it over last night. She apologized for reacting so badly. She said it's just something she'll have to get used to. I'll never understand that, though. I can be whoever I want to be, as long as I don't tell her about it.

I have read story after story of "coming out" as an atheist to religious families. My experience was nowhere near as bad, but also not at all what I expected.

Things are all good now. I told her that she has to decide if she wants me to be open to her about who I am or not, and I think that's what got her to step back and rethink her approach. I'm trying to be more assertive with her, and so I'm proud of myself. Smile

All is well - thank you all so much for your support and advice!

"The God Delusion" just came in the mail, and I'm going to go start it!
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15-07-2015, 10:47 PM
RE: I need some help.
(13-07-2015 10:53 PM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  She told me how she didn't understand how I would make claims that Joel Osteen ..

You are nowhere near the only one to say/think this. Even some christians agree. My sister-in-law's dad, a hardcore christian, stated a really nice case last year to me on why he thought Osteen was a fraud and not in the "he's not a true xtian" sort of way.

(13-07-2015 10:53 PM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  Talking to her stressed me out. As she spoke, I had flashbacks of the worst moments for me - being told I had to be celibate forever, being given the phone number of someone who could "straighten me out", being told I'd be in danger if I told anyone I was gay, being told I wasn't worthy to receive communion because I wasn't sorry enough for one sin, etc.

There is nothing wrong with you and it's not your fault. Although you are her son it's not her position to tell you who you are, that is a place reserved only for you.

(13-07-2015 10:53 PM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  I told her that some people just believe in religions because it's comfortable to them, but I don't want comfort, I want truth.

Very well said. Bravo!!

Be yourself. You're not alone.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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15-07-2015, 11:05 PM
RE: I need some help.
<-- New tagline. Thanks Free!

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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16-07-2015, 01:18 AM
RE: I need some help.
(14-07-2015 10:22 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  
(13-07-2015 10:53 PM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  ...I don't want comfort, I want truth.

You're Dogdamned right!

I don't think you need our support or permission or anything else. All on your own, you've managed to distill everything down to a very poignant phrase, a perfect summary of the skeptic's mindset.

The great thing is, it is comforting, in its way. If you poke around the board even briefly, you'll see that many of us have learned that the stark, infinite, and careless "bleakness" of the universe is itself a thing of beauty and comfort... and when coupled with knowing the truth and no longer fooling yourself, it provides a social and personal freedom beyond description. Might be hard for you to imagine, yet, but please trust us, it's there.

Maybe that should be the TTA slogan: "We don't want comfort, we want truth."

(Anyone here know Latin? I'd be willing to bet that phrase sounds cool in Latin.)
Uhm. So what is this personal universal connection you speak of? Do you realize that the Universe is intricately connected to each of us as we are to one another. The problem with free thinking is that it leads to excessive, needless, overly complex meaningless thought. That amounts to no real answers, and only more questions. There is a higher power. It is in us all.
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16-07-2015, 01:32 AM
RE: I need some help.
(16-07-2015 01:18 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(14-07-2015 10:22 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  You're Dogdamned right!

I don't think you need our support or permission or anything else. All on your own, you've managed to distill everything down to a very poignant phrase, a perfect summary of the skeptic's mindset.

The great thing is, it is comforting, in its way. If you poke around the board even briefly, you'll see that many of us have learned that the stark, infinite, and careless "bleakness" of the universe is itself a thing of beauty and comfort... and when coupled with knowing the truth and no longer fooling yourself, it provides a social and personal freedom beyond description. Might be hard for you to imagine, yet, but please trust us, it's there.

Maybe that should be the TTA slogan: "We don't want comfort, we want truth."

(Anyone here know Latin? I'd be willing to bet that phrase sounds cool in Latin.)
Uhm. So what is this personal universal connection you speak of? Do you realize that the Universe is intricately connected to each of us as we are to one another. The problem with free thinking is that it leads to excessive, needless, overly complex meaningless thought. That amounts to no real answers, and only more questions. There is a higher power. It is in us all.

This is the personal issues and support section. Read the rules before you post here again. Your proselytizing is unwelcome, and won't be tolerated in this section.

This is your one and only warning.

Stark Raving
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So many cats, so few good recipes.
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16-07-2015, 01:37 AM
RE: I need some help.
pops I have just reported your post because you are proselytizing in the help forum. This is not only incredibly rude, it also violates the rules of this very casual forum.

I suggest you apologise very quickly and if you can, sincerely.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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16-07-2015, 02:01 AM
RE: I need some help.
(16-07-2015 01:37 AM)Banjo Wrote:  pops I have just reported your post because you are proselytizing in the help forum. This is not only incredibly rude, it also violates the rules of this very casual forum.

I suggest you apologise very quickly and if you can, sincerely.
How was I trying to convert anyone from or to anything. I was simply stating an opinion that in know way was leading to anything but the fact that we are all universally connected. How is what I said wrong or an attempt to change anything? I was reiterating what someone else said. I will gladly apologize if you show my error.
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16-07-2015, 06:56 AM
RE: I need some help.
(16-07-2015 02:01 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  
(16-07-2015 01:37 AM)Banjo Wrote:  pops I have just reported your post because you are proselytizing in the help forum. This is not only incredibly rude, it also violates the rules of this very casual forum.

I suggest you apologise very quickly and if you can, sincerely.
How was I trying to convert anyone from or to anything. I was simply stating an opinion that in know way was leading to anything but the fact that we are all universally connected. How is what I said wrong or an attempt to change anything? I was reiterating what someone else said. I will gladly apologize if you show my error.

The purpose of this thread is for me to vent, and for my friends in TTA to offer support. Not really the place for trying to start debates about one another's views. Maybe do it in another thread? But this isn't the place.
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16-07-2015, 08:14 AM
RE: I need some help.
(16-07-2015 06:56 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  
(16-07-2015 02:01 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  How was I trying to convert anyone from or to anything. I was simply stating an opinion that in know way was leading to anything but the fact that we are all universally connected. How is what I said wrong or an attempt to change anything? I was reiterating what someone else said. I will gladly apologize if you show my error.

The purpose of this thread is for me to vent, and for my friends in TTA to offer support. Not really the place for trying to start debates about one another's views. Maybe do it in another thread? But this isn't the place.
I wasn't really looking to start a debate. I didn't know I was in the wrong section for such opinions. Tapatalk gives a timeline and I didn't bother looking what category I was in.
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