I need some serious help
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11-10-2016, 04:32 PM
I need some serious help
Time is short to post this so I'll be brief.

I got married a six years ago and have two children ages 2 and 4.
My in laws are very nice people albeit fundamentalist baptists. However they have always been kind and never preachy. I used to be a fundamentalist baptist so I guess I fit in...kinda.
Anyhow Sunday night I got to talking with my brother in law about foreign policy and as i predicted wound up talking about end times. He now knows (as does the rest of the inlaws) that I am a non believer. I panicked when he asked if I was an athiest and I said no. That was a mistake but I did it because I knew he has a lot of bible knowledge and no doubt an "impressive" array of tactics to pin me down. So I balked because I was afraid of being unprepared.
So without having to have the knowledge of the late great Hitchens, how do I go about this? Honestly I feel like I will be talking to a brick wall.
But wait there's more!! =|
Also my sister in law who home schools her kids (poor kids) watches my kids for no charge. And I know the indoctrination has begun.
I have no clue what to do.
How do I gently tell them to let my kids decide on their own?
I have no idea how to approach this.
I tend to lose my temper with these types of people.
They do teach good morals (I know you can be good without god and so on and so forth) but its the supernatural BS that Im worried about.
I need serious advice on what to do.
I have often told myself to bide my time and when the time is right with my kids I can influence them with reason. Or have thought of letting the kids decide on their own.
Seriously please help me.
I am terrified of my kids disowning me because of my Atheism.
Thank you.
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11-10-2016, 04:47 PM
RE: I need some serious help
It won't come to that. What are your husband's desires, beliefs?
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11-10-2016, 04:48 PM
RE: I need some serious help
Quote:That was a mistake but I did it because I knew he has a lot of bible knowledge and no doubt an "impressive" array of tactics to pin me down.


Only if you accept the preposterous notion that a collection of late Iron Age fairy tales have validity. Once you dismiss that - or challenge him to produce non-biblical evidence for his assertions - you'll have him on the ropes.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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11-10-2016, 04:56 PM
RE: I need some serious help
Welcome to the forum. If you do feel unprepared to argue and defend your atheism, then this place, the members here will be able to give you lots of help. Help with knowledge, empathy, experience.

Please stick around, your more than welcome here.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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11-10-2016, 04:59 PM
RE: I need some serious help
(11-10-2016 04:32 PM)cmbradley01 Wrote:  Time is short to post this so I'll be brief.

I got married a six years ago and have two children ages 2 and 4.
My in laws are very nice people albeit fundamentalist baptists. However they have always been kind and never preachy. I used to be a fundamentalist baptist so I guess I fit in...kinda.
Anyhow Sunday night I got to talking with my brother in law about foreign policy and as i predicted wound up talking about end times. He now knows (as does the rest of the inlaws) that I am a non believer. I panicked when he asked if I was an athiest and I said no. That was a mistake but I did it because I knew he has a lot of bible knowledge and no doubt an "impressive" array of tactics to pin me down. So I balked because I was afraid of being unprepared.
So without having to have the knowledge of the late great Hitchens, how do I go about this? Honestly I feel like I will be talking to a brick wall.
But wait there's more!! =|
Also my sister in law who home schools her kids (poor kids) watches my kids for no charge. And I know the indoctrination has begun.
I have no clue what to do.
How do I gently tell them to let my kids decide on their own?
I have no idea how to approach this.
I tend to lose my temper with these types of people.
They do teach good morals (I know you can be good without god and so on and so forth) but its the supernatural BS that Im worried about.
I need serious advice on what to do.
I have often told myself to bide my time and when the time is right with my kids I can influence them with reason. Or have thought of letting the kids decide on their own.
Seriously please help me.
I am terrified of my kids disowning me because of my Atheism.
Thank you.

I now tell people I'm a secular humanist. I believe in the betterment of all humanity.

Religion doesn't matter...

Good luck


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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11-10-2016, 05:11 PM
RE: I need some serious help
I think gradually easing kids into ideas and other ways of thinking can help. I can see your fear about it just coming out that you are an atheist if the only exposure your kids have to atheism is through religious eyes. There are a few good books that are geared toward children: The Book of Gods and The Belief Book by David McAfee and Chuck Harrison.They are books designed to plant seeds of reason and to cultivate free thinking in children. I think if you read these books with your kids, it may help them understand atheism a little better--that it is not something bad or scary. I also think if it at all possible, it would be a good idea to find another day care option. Even if you gently tell your s-i-l to let your kids be religion free--that could propel her to go full force with getting them to know Jesus because of your lack of belief and her fear of your corrupting them.

Re: end of times/b-i-l, I would just let him rant. I don't think you are going to change him and your taking him on could end in a fight and awkwardness. I would just limit my (and my kids) time around him as much as I could.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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11-10-2016, 06:44 PM
RE: I need some serious help
Besides what JennyBee gave as resources, find logic games to play with them. With enough critical thinking skills under their belts, they'll be able to sort through the chaff better. They may end up questioning your SIL about what she is saying, but hopefully she doesn't go berserk if they question her dogma. Something to watch out for. There may come a time when "free" baby sitting is worse than the alternative.
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11-10-2016, 06:49 PM
RE: I need some serious help
Your children are much too young to differentiate between Pokemon and gods at the moment. The real problem is your SIL. With her you have to be very direct and tell her that any and all religious teachings are your responsibility and not hers. If she has any issue with that then off to daycare with your children.

Good luck.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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11-10-2016, 06:52 PM
RE: I need some serious help
At 2 and 4 I don't think your kids are going to disown you. I would avoid religious discussions, though, with your relatives--I think the only thing that that does with very religious people is set a target on you and your kids' backs.

Over the longer term, in your situation, I would carefully consider whether free childcare is worth your kids' being indoctrinated with vile ideas...If you need the care, then it might be worth it to keep your irreligious beliefs deep under cover. If you can do that, then your kids won't be seen as a prize for Jeebus and they'll get just the normal amount of religious radiation from your SIL rather than lethal doses.

Your kids are probably too young to decide things for themselves at this point. My recommendation: as they get older, answer their questions as honestly as you can, don't censor, and let them explore and experience religions and philosophies without limiting them too much, while making sure that they learn to think critically. I think you'll be happy with the results of that approach. That's what we did with my son, who has explored Christianity and various other mythologies and belief systems and still wound up an atheist (to our delight and our fundamentalist relatives' dismay).
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11-10-2016, 07:06 PM
RE: I need some serious help
(11-10-2016 04:56 PM)bemore Wrote:  Welcome to the forum. If you do feel unprepared to argue and defend your atheism, then this place, the members here will be able to give you lots of help. Help with knowledge, empathy, experience.

Please stick around, your more than welcome here.
*you're

He's right, people are very helpful around here. Angel

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