I need someone to listen
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18-01-2016, 11:35 AM
RE: I need someone to listen
Do you have a plan on how you will support yourself? Are you working at a decent paying job? If you have neither of these things, I could see how your dad may think your dreams about moving out/becoming financially stable are not realistic *at this time.* That said, if you have a plan of attack--work hard, keep pushing forward, save every penny, and keep your eye on your goals and you'll get there Smile
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18-01-2016, 11:47 AM
RE: I need someone to listen
(18-01-2016 10:36 AM)musicharmony87 Wrote:  I had once moved out to live with my ex boyfriend. I broke up with him and moved back in with my parents. I believe my father is controlling me financially. I never saw it before until now.

I would love for my dad to actually support me in my dreams. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Support their children no matter how ridiculous their dream may be? I would love for my dad to support my dream but he doesn't. He made that quite clear on Saturday.

It affects me because he's my father. He should be supporting my dreams.

I will move out one day and prove him wrong. I wonder if he is smothering me.

I have a part time job but when full time becomes available I'm going to take it. My dad doesn't even think I can handle full time. When in fact I have had full time jobs before at a factory. I worked 5 days a week sometimes 7. Yes I complain that it gets tiring but who doesn't complain about their long hours? Sometimes I think my dad thinks I can't do anything. How am I supposed to live on just part time? I would love full time at my current job.

I have said in life before that I can't afford to move out and live on my own. But ever since I found out about subsidized housing that's where this dream came into play. I want to be free of my dad financially.

I hope I answered everyone's questions. I just thought that parents are supposed to support you in your dreams. Maybe I think too highly of my dad and that's why this issue affected me.

Some questions I forgot. I'm not going to college and I don't really want a truck driving job.

Thank you all for the positive feed back. You are all a nice bunch Smile

There's moral support and there's financial support. When my son is 34, he'll be getting tons of moral support from me, but probably not financial support. (and if he's still living with us, he'll be paying rent and helping with the bills).

I moved out at age 17, never moved back, and over the years the only support I ever asked for from my own father was in the form of two small loans, both of which I paid back in full, with interest. Take it from someone who's been in a home with controlling and generally unsupportive parents: if you want to have control over your life, move out and make it on your own, financially. For a while, that might mean living in housing that's not as nice as your family's, eating ketchup sandwiches and ramen noodles, etc. But the things you learn in supporting yourself financially will also help you support yourself emotionally, just in case your father continues to withhold moral support.
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19-01-2016, 12:09 PM
I need someone to listen
All of your posts are great advice. I didn't have a plan until I talked with my sister in law yesterday. She said that I could take over my bills one by one until I'm supporting myself financially. My dad pays for my phone bill and I may start there by looking into the data plans which I know is expensive. Dad also helps me pay my credit card bill. I would love to take over that one too. He matches what I put in. I really want to prove my dad wrong. He even said I hope you do. I think my dad thinks I have poor spending habits. Maybe that's why he thinks I can't take care of myself. Maybe I'm still immature in the spending department and need to work on that.

My job isn't full time but when full time becomes available I'm going to take it.
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19-01-2016, 03:09 PM
RE: I need someone to listen
Girly's got your back. What you need?



#sigh
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19-01-2016, 03:55 PM
RE: I need someone to listen
At some point you tend realize that your parents are just normal people who themselves are bound by their upbringing and the life they have lived. It happens to be at that moment you often see yourself as an adult and you make your own life choices.

To me it sounds like a great idea to take over your own bills one by one so you have a feeling for how each one affect your economy. And don't bother trying to prove him wrong that shit is for teenagers. Just go about living your life as you see fit. Take what ever advice you think you can use and forget the rest. And step by step I'm sure you'll get there. in your own little home.
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19-01-2016, 04:01 PM
RE: I need someone to listen
Agreed with taking over bills one by one. Once you have full time employment and figure out how to manage that money effectively (which it sounds like you're thinking about already), you'll be just fine.

A man should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. -Ferris Bueller

That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom. -Jack Sparrow
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20-01-2016, 04:05 PM
I need someone to listen
Thank you everyone. I have a plan of action and a dream. It will happen!!!
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29-01-2016, 10:35 PM
RE: I need someone to listen
I know how this feels, when it feels like your parents are being supportive of you. Sometimes parents say those things because they are afraid for you, maybe they don't want you to make the same mistakes they did, maybe they know how tough it was fopr them and they don't want to go through the same thing. Maybe they think, or recongize that you're not ready. Sometimes parents simply just don't want to let go of their child. But at some point you have to put your foot down and make the decision to leap, to move out and find your own place and support yourself. If you know that you're financially stable enough to support yourself, then go for it. They can't stop you, but don't just jump to the conclusion that they don't support you, it's so much deeper than that. Besides that, you're going to have to make choices sometimes that your parent's aren't going to like or be supportive of, that's just how adulthood is. Good luckSmile
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