I need your help
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26-05-2017, 01:03 PM
I need your help
As some of you might know, my mum died in december last year. She was cremated, and her "cremains" are, as required by law, kept by the cemetery authorities, awaiting burial.

Because of my divorce and subsequent relocation to a neighbouring town, this will not take place until the month of september.

My dog (and hers before that) died two days ago. Her name was Happy (see the "I lost my dog"-thread), and she will also be cremated. Individually, that is. In six or seven months time, I will receive the urn containing her ashes from the vet.

What I would like to do is to have my mum and Happy buried together. But this cannot be done. Because you are not allowed to do that. The law gets in the way.

So my plan is to have my mum buried in september. When I recieve the urn with Happy's remains, I will sneak into the cemetery, in the dead of night, and bury the dog's urn close to my mums. It can be done in less than an hour. I just have to wait until late march or early april, when the ground is frostfree. My mum would have loved it.

I will buy a headstone, and have it engraved. Mums name, date of birth, date of death, etc. But instead of the traditional epitaph, I will have a line or two from a poem in english, that begins with the word Happy, with a capital H. It doesn't have to be from a poem. Any clever and suitable catchphrase or meme will do. It will mean something to everybody who knew my mum, but nothing to anybody else.

And this is where I need your help. I've come up with lines like "Happy days until the end", and things of that nature. Not exactly brilliant. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please respond. It will be much appreciated.

The one, true, and real Harvey

Bene vixit, bene qui latuit
René Descartes
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26-05-2017, 01:14 PM
RE: I need your help
Digging around in a cemetery after dark, regardless of your good intentions, is likely to attract the attention of the local constabulary and make for an uncomfortable ending.

How about just sprinkling the dog's ashes on the site? Or using the ashes in the soil in a flower arrangement that can be planted on/near your mom's grave?

As for the epitaph, there's not a thing wrong with what you have. It comes from the heart; Shakespeare himself couldn't make the phrase more meaningful.
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26-05-2017, 01:31 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 01:14 PM)Heath_Tierney Wrote:  Digging around in a cemetery after dark, regardless of your good intentions, is likely to attract the attention of the local constabulary and make for an uncomfortable ending.

The cemetery is located in a rural area, with no close habitation. A lot of cover is also provided by trees and bushes. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. The chance of beeing caught in the act is very close to zero.

But your other suggestions makes a lot of sense, and will be seriously considered. Thank you.

The one, true, and real Harvey

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René Descartes
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26-05-2017, 01:34 PM
RE: I need your help
There are all kinds of small containers sold for dividing ashes up between relatives. Maybe one of these could be embedded in the stone.

Happy in life, happy forever.

P.S. You can also take her ashes home with you before the funeral (you are entitled to them) and add Happy if you want...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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26-05-2017, 01:40 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 01:03 PM)Harvey Wrote:  As some of you might know, my mum died in december last year. She was cremated, and her "cremains" are, as required by law, kept by the cemetery authorities, awaiting burial.

Because of my divorce and subsequent relocation to a neighbouring town, this will not take place until the month of september.

My dog (and hers before that) died two days ago. Her name was Happy (see the "I lost my dog"-thread), and she will also be cremated. Individually, that is. In six or seven months time, I will receive the urn containing her ashes from the vet.

What I would like to do is to have my mum and Happy buried together. But this cannot be done. Because you are not allowed to do that. The law gets in the way.

So my plan is to have my mum buried in september. When I recieve the urn with Happy's remains, I will sneak into the cemetery, in the dead of night, and bury the dog's urn close to my mums. It can be done in less than an hour. I just have to wait until late march or early april, when the ground is frostfree. My mum would have loved it.

I will buy a headstone, and have it engraved. Mums name, date of birth, date of death, etc. But instead of the traditional epitaph, I will have a line or two from a poem in english, that begins with the word Happy, with a capital H. It doesn't have to be from a poem. Any clever and suitable catchphrase or meme will do. It will mean something to everybody who knew my mum, but nothing to anybody else.

And this is where I need your help. I've come up with lines like "Happy days until the end", and things of that nature. Not exactly brilliant. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please respond. It will be much appreciated.

Wow, a lot to figure out isn't it?

You laws are quite different from laws here.

I like Heath's idea of mixing some of the cremains in a planter for your mother's gravesite. You could also mix some into a plant at your home...for inside or out that will remind you of them both.

You have time to think of the right words...and don't be surprised if they suddenly hit you. Keep a notebook of any that come to mind. I think what you have already sounds pretty good.

I am sorry that you are dealing with so much in such a short time. Undecided

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26-05-2017, 01:41 PM
RE: I need your help
Here is a link to small ash containers that could be embedded in the stone

http://www.stardust-memorials.com/cremat...r-men.html

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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26-05-2017, 02:22 PM
RE: I need your help
There is a long historic tradition of coburial in this particular area. In the Oseberg burial mound, from the eigth century, two women were buried in a more than 60 ft. long viking ship. Along with them, the skeletal remains of 14 horses, an ox, and three dogs were also excavated. Christianity put an end to burials like this.

The one, true, and real Harvey

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26-05-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: I need your help
Happy to be here, always.

Check out my now-defunct atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
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26-05-2017, 02:49 PM
RE: I need your help
That's a damned fool law. Have you checked for exceptions?

You may think that the odds of getting caught are small but the consequences are significant. They may have security you aren't aware of and you're going to leave a disturbed grave.

Dom's suggestion of mixing the ashes is your simplest option.

Otherwise:
- Are you allowed to bury other objects with your mother's ashes? That's an easy way to conceal Happy's ashes.
- A sympathetic potter might be able to incorporate Happy's ashes into a custom urn for your mother. Could be tricky and likely expensive though.
- Get permission to plant a tree/shrub/flowers on the gravesite. Happy's ashes go underneath. Does dogwood grow in Norway?
- As a last resort, sneak in some night, lift the edge of the sod and sprinkle Happy's ashes underneath. Shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes and won't make the mess that more serious digging would.

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26-05-2017, 02:57 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 01:34 PM)Dom Wrote:  P.S. You can also take her ashes home with you before the funeral (you are entitled to them) and add Happy if you want...

That is actually not possible. The urn is kept by the cemetery authorities until buried. And it would feel very awkward.

The one, true, and real Harvey

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René Descartes
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