I need your help
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26-05-2017, 03:11 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 02:57 PM)Harvey Wrote:  
(26-05-2017 01:34 PM)Dom Wrote:  P.S. You can also take her ashes home with you before the funeral (you are entitled to them) and add Happy if you want...

That is actually not possible. The urn is kept by the cemetery authorities until buried. And it would feel very awkward.

You can do it in the US. Different laws I suppose. Some people in the US just keep the urn on a shelf forever.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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26-05-2017, 03:24 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 02:49 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  As a last resort, sneak in some night, lift the edge of the sod and sprinkle Happy's ashes underneath. Shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes and won't make the mess that more serious digging would.

There are no security. Jesus Christ, this is Norway. There hasn't been any kind of security around churches and cemeteries, since the black metal community made a habit of torching churches some twenty to twentyfive years ago. These guys are all in prison, in exil, dead or have settled down with wifes and kids.

And it's not a coffin I'm going to bury. It's just a small urn. I will use a blade to make a circular cut in the turf, some five inches in diameter. Then dig down 50 cm, lower the urn into the hole, fill it up with soil, put the turf back in place. The excess soil, if any, will be scattered in the nearby bushes. I will be gone in twenty to twentyfive minutes. I won't be needing any tools that I can't bring with me in my pockets, and I will use my bike to get to and from.

The chance of getting caught is indistinguishable from zero. And, if caught, there would most probably be no consequences at all. Most likely, I could do it in broad daylight. If someone passed by, they would think I was planting or decorating the grave.

The one, true, and real Harvey

Bene vixit, bene qui latuit
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26-05-2017, 04:36 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 01:40 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I am sorry that you are dealing with so much in such a short time. Undecided

Well, it's been more than I bargained for. But I'm still around.

The last two days have been like no days I have ever experienced. I just don't know what to do in the morning, at mid day and in the evenings. There is no one to walk. No one to feed. There is no one greeting me, jumping up and down with a wagging tail, when I return home. There is no cold and moist snout pressing against my leg anymore. No happy barks.

And all her stuff is still around. Her bed, which me and my daugther made for her. Everything is still here.

I had two 40 pound bags of dogfood that I have donated to a retirement home for elderly dogs/dogshelter for dogs to be relocated. One bag that I had bought the day before she died, and one "bonusbag" that I collected from the store. It's comforting to know that the food will benefit other dogs.

I have loads of pictures of Happy. I have been looking through them all. She was just such a pleasant dog. Very friendly and loving to everyone we met. Except the odd German Sheperd we met when out walking. She hated them with a passion second to none. She would tell them, in no uncertain terms, how she felt about them and their low lot. And she used foul language doing so.

The one, true, and real Harvey

Bene vixit, bene qui latuit
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26-05-2017, 04:53 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 04:36 PM)Harvey Wrote:  
(26-05-2017 01:40 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I am sorry that you are dealing with so much in such a short time. Undecided

Well, it's been more than I bargained for. But I'm still around.

The last two days have been like no days I have ever experienced. I just don't know what to do in the morning, at mid day and in the evenings. There is no one to walk. No one to feed. There is no one greeting me, jumping up and down with a wagging tail, when I return home. There is no cold and moist snout pressing against my leg anymore. No happy barks.

And all her stuff is still around. Her bed, which me and my daugther made for her. Everything is still here.

I had two 40 pound bags of dogfood that I have donated to a retirement home for elderly dogs/dogshelter for dogs to be relocated. One bag that I had bought the day before she died, and one "bonusbag" that I collected from the store. It's comforting to know that the food will benefit other dogs.

I have loads of pictures of Happy. I have been looking through them all. She was just such a pleasant dog. Very friendly and loving to everyone we met. Except the odd German Sheperd we met when out walking. She hated them with a passion second to none. She would tell them, in no uncertain terms, how she felt about them and their low lot. And she used foul language doing so.

Hug

It doesn't get easy but it does get easier.

It took me months to finally part with Lady's bed. After her having one on an ottoman in the corner for nearly ten years I had a hard time letting it go. Undecided

As for Chopper...I really can't put into words how much I miss his grumpy little self.

And we have two dogs in the house. They are special but they aren't Lady and Chop. Sadcryface

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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26-05-2017, 08:48 PM
RE: I need your help
The significance of the two being together in any "afterlife" pales in comparison to the legal troubles you might court.

Perhaps hang on to your mother's ashes until the dog is cremated, and inter them both in a place you can readily visit?
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26-05-2017, 09:05 PM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 04:53 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(26-05-2017 04:36 PM)Harvey Wrote:  Well, it's been more than I bargained for. But I'm still around.

The last two days have been like no days I have ever experienced. I just don't know what to do in the morning, at mid day and in the evenings. There is no one to walk. No one to feed. There is no one greeting me, jumping up and down with a wagging tail, when I return home. There is no cold and moist snout pressing against my leg anymore. No happy barks.

And all her stuff is still around. Her bed, which me and my daugther made for her. Everything is still here.

I had two 40 pound bags of dogfood that I have donated to a retirement home for elderly dogs/dogshelter for dogs to be relocated. One bag that I had bought the day before she died, and one "bonusbag" that I collected from the store. It's comforting to know that the food will benefit other dogs.

I have loads of pictures of Happy. I have been looking through them all. She was just such a pleasant dog. Very friendly and loving to everyone we met. Except the odd German Sheperd we met when out walking. She hated them with a passion second to none. She would tell them, in no uncertain terms, how she felt about them and their low lot. And she used foul language doing so.

Hug

It doesn't get easy but it does get easier.

It took me months to finally part with Lady's bed. After her having one on an ottoman in the corner for nearly ten years I had a hard time letting it go. Undecided

As for Chopper...I really can't put into words how much I miss his grumpy little self.

And we have two dogs in the house. They are special but they aren't Lady and Chop. Sadcryface

I get that. We had a chair that was forever Duke's throne. We sold it at the garage sale. I wouldn't watch it get carried away. I didn't tell them our dog used it as his preferred bed practically The whole time he was with us.

I still feel bad about it


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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26-05-2017, 11:29 PM
RE: I need your help
I'm very sorry for your loss Heart

I hope you can find a solution that makes you happy. I think sprinkling the ashes is a good idea.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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27-05-2017, 12:13 AM
RE: I need your help
Something that will indicate their remains are in close proximity that only you and yours will understand.


This is from Walt Whitman

"Happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word."

It also brings to mind how happy you can feel, not talking with anyone but just spending time with your dog.
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27-05-2017, 12:19 AM
RE: I need your help
(26-05-2017 03:24 PM)Harvey Wrote:  
(26-05-2017 02:49 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  As a last resort, sneak in some night, lift the edge of the sod and sprinkle Happy's ashes underneath. Shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes and won't make the mess that more serious digging would.

There are no security. Jesus Christ, this is Norway. There hasn't been any kind of security around churches and cemeteries, since the black metal community made a habit of torching churches some twenty to twentyfive years ago. These guys are all in prison, in exil, dead or have settled down with wifes and kids.

And it's not a coffin I'm going to bury. It's just a small urn. I will use a blade to make a circular cut in the turf, some five inches in diameter. Then dig down 50 cm, lower the urn into the hole, fill it up with soil, put the turf back in place. The excess soil, if any, will be scattered in the nearby bushes. I will be gone in twenty to twentyfive minutes. I won't be needing any tools that I can't bring with me in my pockets, and I will use my bike to get to and from.

The chance of getting caught is indistinguishable from zero. And, if caught, there would most probably be no consequences at all. Most likely, I could do it in broad daylight. If someone passed by, they would think I was planting or decorating the grave.

Totally with you. You didn't ask for advice about whether or not to do it you asked for advice on what to inscribe.
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27-05-2017, 04:05 AM
RE: I need your help
(27-05-2017 12:19 AM)ImFred Wrote:  Totally with you. You didn't ask for advice about whether or not to do it you asked for advice on what to inscribe.

Exactly!

And I do love the line from Walt Whitman. It's so beautiful, and carries so much meaning. Thank you.

The one, true, and real Harvey

Bene vixit, bene qui latuit
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