I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
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06-09-2016, 09:34 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
You should probably expect her to go through the five stages of grief and loss, here they are so you can prepare.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages...and-grief/

Time, patience and love are your allies here.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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06-09-2016, 11:31 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
(06-09-2016 02:24 PM)GEAUX Wrote:  "I think just being an honest and a loving partner will help your spouse figure out that the relationship isn't really much different. She might see it as you two growing apart but in reality, your relationship is expanding to include the individual growth of each other. Stress that kind of togetherness."

I like this. Thanks.

In line with this, here's a chorus from the band Rush which sums up my feelings on differences inside a relationship:

Just between us
I think it's time for us to recognize
The differences we sometimes fear to show
Just between us
I think it's time for us to realize
The spaces in between
Leave room for you and I to grow
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07-09-2016, 09:33 AM (This post was last modified: 07-09-2016 09:44 AM by Shai Hulud.)
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
Really I think, from the Catholic perspective, she's just doubling down as others have said, on the piety and religious practices. Like the Rosary each morning sounds hardcore to me, as someone who maybe prays a Divine Mercy Chaplet every Friday at 3pm. She's going through her own period of trying to adjust to things, and probably trying to convince herself of what she believes to be true, more than anything. Sorry it's had such an impact. Sad Oh and if I may ask, Relevant Radio? K-Love? Air1? I'm something of a Christian radio connoisseur; it's all I listened to before realizing I was in an area with NPR. Because Relevant is hardcore Catholic, whereas Air1 and KLove are "non-denominational" super Evangelical to the extent that when they deign to acknowledge Catholicism's existence, it's in a roundabout way, like quoting Pope John Paul II and saying "a wise man once said" or making Saint Patrick out to be an Evangelical Christian.

(06-09-2016 02:31 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  My wife, her entire family and friends, my family and all my friends, the Catholic Church, the Priest who married us and his Bishop all knew about my atheism prior to be being married in a Catholic Church in front of a Priest. Her family said it'll never last. 30 years later they're all divorced. Girly and Manly still going strong. Never been an issue for us. Only thing I had to agree to was to not interfere with a Catholic baptism or upbringing for any offspring. No biggie. I found their baptism ritual fascinating. And they are all fine young atheist adults now. 'Cause Girly don't spawn stupid. Big Grin

Good for you. Everyone divorcing makes me think of someone from home, who gets Annulments like candy so that she's in "good standing" despite 5 or 6 divorces now and counting.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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07-09-2016, 11:10 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
MY wife found out about me a few years ago. I won't bore you with the details but with respect to the kids, be yourself and do not hide it. I have 3 children and just my mere presence has caused several very interesting discussions with them. I don't think you mentioned their ages but what are they if yo don't mind? I think that the age plays a huge role in what you say and when you say it. I have never told my kids the bible is bullshit. They kind of are figuring that out on their own. All I have to do is ask them what they think and why. They know that I don't go to church and that was the catalyst for them to ask to begin with. If they always saw me I church, they would naturally assume I thought it was true or that it was good whereas I find christianity morally bankrupt and terrible. Good luck.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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07-09-2016, 11:48 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
(07-09-2016 09:33 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Good for you. Everyone divorcing makes me think of someone from home, who gets Annulments like candy so that she's in "good standing" despite 5 or 6 divorces now and counting.

A guy I went to high school with (Catholic high school) watched his parents go through the annulment process after 30+ years of marriage. What a silly concept. Married all those years, three kids, owned a thriving business together...suddenly the marriage was a sham. Facepalm

Seems that getting a marriage declared as never having happened would retroactively make the kids illegitimate.

Now this old friend of mine is an over the top Evangelical. I have pretty much cut ties. He was coming to Dallas the first part of July and sent me a text which I ignored. I knew him when...I just don't buy into his Evangelism.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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08-09-2016, 01:56 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
Hey Geaux, any chance you're a Cajun? 'Cause I am. Smile

I'm in Missouri now, but I'm from Louisiana... my mom's a professor at LSU-A, and got her PhD from LSU's main campus.

(To everyone who doesn't get why I'm asking, his name is a little pun on the French language, as we pronounce the "eau(x)" as "oh", so we say "Geaux Tigers!" to cheer for LSU.)

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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09-09-2016, 12:17 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say thanks for the love, advice, and support. I've been meaning to reply to some of the comments but life has gotten a bit busy lately as it tends to do. Hopefully I can get around to replying more in the next couple days.

Peace.
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09-09-2016, 12:20 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
Hug

No worries, no hurries.

Take your time.

Happy to be an electronic shoulder for yourself. Smile
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09-09-2016, 12:20 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
(08-09-2016 01:56 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Hey Geaux, any chance you're a Cajun? 'Cause I am. Smile

I'm in Missouri now, but I'm from Louisiana... my mom's a professor at LSU-A, and got her PhD from LSU's main campus.

(To everyone who doesn't get why I'm asking, his name is a little pun on the French language, as we pronounce the "eau(x)" as "oh", so we say "Geaux Tigers!" to cheer for LSU.)

Yes, I'm a Cajun. As in GEAUX CAJUNS! We ain't always good, but I support my hometown school. (I'm also thankful I don't have I wear purple and yellow, lol.)
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09-09-2016, 10:27 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
(09-09-2016 12:20 AM)GEAUX Wrote:  
(08-09-2016 01:56 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Hey Geaux, any chance you're a Cajun? 'Cause I am. Smile

I'm in Missouri now, but I'm from Louisiana... my mom's a professor at LSU-A, and got her PhD from LSU's main campus.

(To everyone who doesn't get why I'm asking, his name is a little pun on the French language, as we pronounce the "eau(x)" as "oh", so we say "Geaux Tigers!" to cheer for LSU.)

Yes, I'm a Cajun. As in GEAUX CAJUNS! We ain't always good, but I support my hometown school. (I'm also thankful I don't have I wear purple and yellow, lol.)

Great. Another guy who loves eating crawdads. Dodgy

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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