I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
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10-09-2016, 09:05 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
(10-09-2016 10:54 AM)skyking Wrote:  
(10-09-2016 08:35 AM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  I read all of that in Bubba's voice.
did you inject a massive amount of botox in your lower lip first?
Quote: Throughout filming, Williamson wore a lip attachment to create Bubba's protruding lip.

Well, I meant in my head.
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10-09-2016, 09:23 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
I feel for you. Im in a similar situation except we were protestants. When i told my wife it absolutely crushed her. She had to go through her own grieving process. She eventually came to realize that I still love her and im still the same man she married the only difference is i dont believe in god and i dont goto church with her anymore. My advice is be patient with her dont try to change her mind but have the discussion about religion every once in awhile. But i would spend most of your time focusing on the values you both still share. I highly doubt you got married just because you were both catholic at the time. That is what I do in my marriage.
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15-09-2016, 01:07 PM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
I went through/am going through something that is much less in severity. My wife and I dated for a long time before getting married (7 years) and not once in that time did we ever go to a service or mention going to a service. Her family was mostly Quaker. We got married in my high school chapel with her uncle presiding- a fairly innocuous service with (in my eyes) a bare minimum of religion.

Fast forward several years when I actually said the words I am an Atheist. Well, I got a very unexpected reaction and there was much loud disagreement including "I wish I knew this before". Fast forward to now, we are still happily married but I have not been able to make the religion topic one that can be rationally discussed. Sure she dislikes the Catholic Church for their actions, the Muslims that kill, demean and repress in the name of allah etc but overall she still thinks there is one out there that is good without the contamination of man and organized religion. She still hasn't gone to a service (even a Quaker one) that I know of in 25 years.

So why do I share this long winded story, my point is that I think you can move past it and still be happy in your marriage but you will have to treat the subject differently than most other topics and you will have to learn to bite your tongue all in the name of happy marriage.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored- Aldous Huxley
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16-09-2016, 08:31 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
When I lose trust in a person it is only a matter of time before I step away from that relationship. Apparently, I am unable to participate intimately or share living space with someone who is being dishonest with me. I'm single but have been married. Trust isn't easy. It's fragile and requires gut level communication to maintain. Everyone lies. I get that. Don't we enter into marriage or civil unions with the expectation that our partner will provide us with support, sex and security for the rest of our life? Is this unreasonable? Changing the rules of a union after the fact is certainly troubling , but I suggest it does not have to be grounds to terminate the entire relationship if ,and only if, both parties are willing be honest about the change and move past it. It's not as if you've told your wife that the napkins were all screwed up at the tea party. You've revealed to her that her fundamental beliefs about you are incorrect. That's big. I wish you well. Work to reestablish trust and honest discussion with yourself and your family . The downside of atheism is that when we step away from intellectual dishonesty and find peace of mind it's tempting to expect the same from others. Not easy stuff here. Thanks
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16-09-2016, 08:57 AM
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
That's a tough situation. It sounds like she uses religion as her source of comfort and maybe her crutch. And perhaps your questioning makes her feel uneasy in her own belief?

My spouse and I are on the same page, so we don't have any conflicts when it comes to raising the youngin. But I can definitely see that being a big issue if one of us were religious. I tend to have more issues with outside influences and friends/family.

Is is causing a rift in your marriage? It may be worthwhile to speak with a neutral 3rd person (like a counselor) so you guys can keep the communication open. Best of luck!
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16-09-2016, 09:29 AM (This post was last modified: 16-09-2016 09:43 AM by Mr. Boston.)
RE: I recently told my wife I’m an Atheist. I need to vent.
My wife and I were with our 15-month-old in the hospital earlier this week. He fell at daycare and needed 9 stitches in his forehead.

The intake person asked us, "religious preference?" and I chuckled and asked, "his or ours?" We settled on "none," because I'm an atheist, my wife is a non-practicing Jew and our son is undecided - his god is whomever fills the baw-baw.

I guess my point is, if everyone's not on the same page regarding religion - you can still do what's necessary so your kid gets his 9 stitches, lol. Being of similar mind on these matters isn't really necessary as long as people are able to respect each other's feelings and beliefs.
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