I think I went a little overboard...
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24-02-2015, 08:33 AM
I think I went a little overboard...
Hello, I'm new to the forums. I'm actually new to Athesim. I've lived a "Christian" life for 27 years, although for the last 10 or so, I've had some wonder. But I'll save all that for my introductory thread.

So I've been in a habit of saying "God Damnit" way too much. Mainly because I get some kind of humor out of it, and partially because I banned myself from saying it for years (out of respect to the Lord).

I am pretty easy to get along with, however I have a hot head when I get irritated or annoyed. A couple of my co workers who like to disregard my request for certain things (which are completely acceptable), continue to do small things to get under my skin time and time again even after I have told them cut it out. This isn't high school, and I'm not playing childish games.

So this morning, after one of them had done it again, I contacted their boss via phone and said the following:

"Hey man, are you at work today? Ok... Well please tell the god damn mother******* xxxx and xxxx to quit laying these god damn cable boxes that could have roaches in them on my desk. I've asked them politely and they still continue to do it."

He asked me if I was god damning him, I replied "No, I'm God Damning them!"

He goes... "Oh... Ok.... Well... I'll let them know!".


About an hour later I get a text from one of the guys that said

"xxxx said you damned me to hell, used our God's name in vain. Sorry man, just trying to lighten up the day. Didn't mean any disrespect."

I texted him back apologizing for my use of words and the context, and now I feel like crap for what I said. I mean, it didn't offend me (obviously, I don't believe in God), but keep in mind I live in Kentucky, which is right in the bible belt. I'm in the minority here.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is it normal to feel like I've let myself become a little less "moral" because I'm an atheist now? I mean absolutely no harm to anyone, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But I think and feel a little free'r now that I don't have any "religious boundaries". Any way to keep things under control?


Thanks!
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24-02-2015, 09:45 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
Welcome to TTA, Steve.

That freedom thing is a wonderful feeling, isn't it?

You can console yourself by thinking / realising that secular morality (with it's self-correcting mechanisms) is vastly superior to divine-command morality.

Anyway, it seems like you got the result you wanted in order to address the incidents.

I'd use it as an opportunity to have an off-duty conversation about hell and how they know it exists. A rational, epistemology-questioning calm conversation.

Oh! and anger management classes might be a consideration.

Wink

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24-02-2015, 09:50 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
(24-02-2015 08:33 AM)NutraSteve Wrote:  Hello, I'm new to the forums. I'm actually new to Athesim. I've lived a "Christian" life for 27 years, although for the last 10 or so, I've had some wonder. But I'll save all that for my introductory thread.

So I've been in a habit of saying "God Damnit" way too much. Mainly because I get some kind of humor out of it, and partially because I banned myself from saying it for years (out of respect to the Lord).

I am pretty easy to get along with, however I have a hot head when I get irritated or annoyed. A couple of my co workers who like to disregard my request for certain things (which are completely acceptable), continue to do small things to get under my skin time and time again even after I have told them cut it out. This isn't high school, and I'm not playing childish games.

So this morning, after one of them had done it again, I contacted their boss via phone and said the following:

"Hey man, are you at work today? Ok... Well please tell the god damn mother******* xxxx and xxxx to quit laying these god damn cable boxes that could have roaches in them on my desk. I've asked them politely and they still continue to do it."

He asked me if I was god damning him, I replied "No, I'm God Damning them!"

He goes... "Oh... Ok.... Well... I'll let them know!".


About an hour later I get a text from one of the guys that said

"xxxx said you damned me to hell, used our God's name in vain. Sorry man, just trying to lighten up the day. Didn't mean any disrespect."

I texted him back apologizing for my use of words and the context, and now I feel like crap for what I said. I mean, it didn't offend me (obviously, I don't believe in God), but keep in mind I live in Kentucky, which is right in the bible belt. I'm in the minority here.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is it normal to feel like I've let myself become a little less "moral" because I'm an atheist now? I mean absolutely no harm to anyone, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But I think and feel a little free'r now that I don't have any "religious boundaries". Any way to keep things under control?


Thanks!

Hello! Big Grin

So... coming from a 'working life' as well one has to remember how to be more 'formal' when dealing with other 'workers/professionals'.

It's perfectly acceptable you contact the other worker's boss/superior/supervisor and ask, request, inform them of the behaviors being done to yourself.

(As for bugs... especially roaches, being placed any where near my working space? BLERGH! Instant gag reflex here. Like, with a SPOON! Tongue)

So that's totally a good thing.

The bad thing was your venting with more 'average' or 'common parlance'. That's where the other side gets to beat you back.

So, yeah. Hug for your encounter/example... But yeah, try and watch your word usage. I know it's hard when you're angry etc.

All the best of luck. Smile

Much cheers to all.
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24-02-2015, 10:17 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
Haha! I used to do the same thing, but using certain words that people find offensive doesn't make you immoral.

Jeebus Christ, don't sweat it!

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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24-02-2015, 10:23 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
Thanks to the both of you for your kind words. I went ahead and emailed the supervisor that I originally called and apologized for my behavior and told him that it was completely out of line. He has a terrific sense of humor and responded "All is forgiven. Hugs and kisses."

I am just going to try to have a "come to Jesus" (for lack of better words) meeting with myself and try to tame my words and attitude whenever I get irritated. I swear to you all, I rarely get angry to the point I want to snap on someone, I'm pretty easy going. I just need to learn that because I don't have a "spiritual superior" anymore, that I can't just say what I want whenever I do get irritated. At least that's what I think I need to tell myself.
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24-02-2015, 10:25 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
(24-02-2015 10:17 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Haha! I used to do the same thing, but using certain words that people find offensive doesn't make you immoral.

Jeebus Christ, don't sweat it!

Glad to know I'm not alone! I guess in a way no matter what you say someone, somewhere will get offended.
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24-02-2015, 10:35 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
(24-02-2015 10:25 AM)NutraSteve Wrote:  I guess in a way no matter what you say someone, somewhere will get offended.

You've got a hell of a nerve saying something like that.

Drinking Beverage

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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24-02-2015, 10:52 AM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
(24-02-2015 10:35 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(24-02-2015 10:25 AM)NutraSteve Wrote:  I guess in a way no matter what you say someone, somewhere will get offended.

You've got a hell of a nerve saying something like that.

Drinking Beverage

Oi! No need to get offensive!

Bastard!

Angel

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24-02-2015, 12:46 PM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
(24-02-2015 08:33 AM)NutraSteve Wrote:  Hello, I'm new to the forums. I'm actually new to Athesim. I've lived a "Christian" life for 27 years, although for the last 10 or so, I've had some wonder. But I'll save all that for my introductory thread.

So I've been in a habit of saying "God Damnit" way too much. Mainly because I get some kind of humor out of it, and partially because I banned myself from saying it for years (out of respect to the Lord).

I am pretty easy to get along with, however I have a hot head when I get irritated or annoyed. A couple of my co workers who like to disregard my request for certain things (which are completely acceptable), continue to do small things to get under my skin time and time again even after I have told them cut it out. This isn't high school, and I'm not playing childish games.

So this morning, after one of them had done it again, I contacted their boss via phone and said the following:

"Hey man, are you at work today? Ok... Well please tell the god damn mother******* xxxx and xxxx to quit laying these god damn cable boxes that could have roaches in them on my desk. I've asked them politely and they still continue to do it."

He asked me if I was god damning him, I replied "No, I'm God Damning them!"

He goes... "Oh... Ok.... Well... I'll let them know!".


About an hour later I get a text from one of the guys that said

"xxxx said you damned me to hell, used our God's name in vain. Sorry man, just trying to lighten up the day. Didn't mean any disrespect."

I texted him back apologizing for my use of words and the context, and now I feel like crap for what I said. I mean, it didn't offend me (obviously, I don't believe in God), but keep in mind I live in Kentucky, which is right in the bible belt. I'm in the minority here.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is it normal to feel like I've let myself become a little less "moral" because I'm an atheist now? I mean absolutely no harm to anyone, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But I think and feel a little free'r now that I don't have any "religious boundaries". Any way to keep things under control?


Thanks!

Welcome. In my opinion it is natural to swing hard in the opposite direction after deconverting from delusion. You feel like you were lied to all those years, led astray...and when you cut the blindfold of faith off, and shrug off the cross of eternal sin....the normal reaction is a bit of over-compensation....don't over think it, just think about how you wish to be perceived, what YOUR moral standard is, and how you wish to move forward. It is easy to become the "angry atheist", trust me I know Blush

Let me know if you need anything, welcome aboard...isn't the real world awesome?

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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24-02-2015, 11:48 PM
RE: I think I went a little overboard...
Welcome and great post! I got upset this week at work and found myself using gd as well. Also felt bad. Remember when I was Christian how much it upset me that the god who gives life is cursed by those he has blessed. Now that I know it's bs I still try to remember how that felt and not offend. Same with fuck in public, the word or the act Smile

Outburst at work are generally unprofessional and bring judgment into question.

Ps the hugs and kisses is because he knows you're atheist so he can have his way with your sinful self.
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