"I think god is a myth"
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14-03-2011, 08:39 AM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
Ah. Sorry, for some reason I thought your wife was somewhat devout. Must have gotten you confused with someone else.

Makes pretty good sense to me. That's pretty close to the route I took with my daughter. (I think there appeared to be an implication there that I thought you should tell your boys. Not what I meant. My question was just because I was curious if we'd taken the same route). I just kind of left the god issue alone alltogether, and when it did come up I treated it no differently than Santa. When she got older, she realized I was talking about Santa like a fairy tale or metaphor, and she figured out on her own that he wasn't real. Same went for god, except we talked about god less, and more because other people would put ideas in her head, so we'd talk about them to decide if she thought they were "realty" (she always said reality like she was in real estate) or make-believe.

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14-03-2011, 09:26 AM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
(14-03-2011 07:50 AM)Dregs Wrote:  My 7 year old certainly doesn't need to deal with someone else's crap if he says my daddy doesn't believe in God.

There is an element of that in my thinking too. I don't want either of my boys to say something without understanding the implications and then find themselves having to defend a position they don't completely understand. Easier at this stage to just not discuss it.

(14-03-2011 07:50 AM)Dregs Wrote:  I've read a ton of that stuff Laxion has written in another section and my main thought isn't for or against its how sad that a 15 year old is worrying about all that crap. At 15 I wanted to touch a boob, play some pick-up football or basketball, and look cool.

I'm 42 and all I really want to do is touch a boob, play some pick-up football (or baseball - not a basketball guy), and look cool. The more things change .....

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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14-03-2011, 09:42 AM
 
RE: "I think god is a myth"
(14-03-2011 09:26 AM)BnW Wrote:  I'm 42 and all I really want to do is touch a boob, play some pick-up football (or baseball - not a basketball guy), and look cool. The more things change .....

This! Undecided
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14-03-2011, 09:55 AM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
I agree with your way of raising children just fine BnW. However, I feel there are warnings parents should be aware of due to the fact that children interact with friends and their parents and teachers and so on. The problem with this comes when your kid comes crying asking why god does this or that. It's true that children don't need an overly complicated world, but sometimes they're introduced to it prematurely.

I as a kid came into self awareness aware that I was abnormal. At 5 childhood was ended by a molester. So at the age of 5 I was dealing with issues that people at any age have trouble dealing with. Being victimized changes your world. But, all the adults in my life felt that I should still live the life of a child due to being 5. And so, for a long time I was not helped for any of my very real problems because children don't have those.

It's great to focus on letting your kid enjoy trivial things as a child but sometimes you gotta watch how important something is. A little boy who likes boys but is around Christians who talk about that being wrong, might ask you something not as damning to him as about liking boys. But if your answer doesn't really make contradicting those guys seem right, then the boy will decide they are talking about something factual. A lot of kids give up on life during the years when people don't think they need to know things, because they get the wrong answer to something and believe it.

You're right to let them decide as they will, but if they ever come really worried about something you need to make sure they stop mulling over it. Children have no defenses against depression, if something limits them they will continue worrying about it incessantly.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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14-03-2011, 10:31 AM
 
RE: "I think god is a myth"
So what you're basically saying is that every situation is different, and you're absolutely correct. I for one live in an area, and community where there is very little religous pressure. I also am in a family where there is very little religous speak. So not making a big deal out of the God issue causes almost no stress. I can imagine in more Bible beltish areas, or within certain families that some early intervention would be called for.
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14-03-2011, 10:42 AM (This post was last modified: 14-03-2011 10:47 AM by Lilith Pride.)
RE: "I think god is a myth"
Exactly, I'm just mentioning the importance of it since many people don't recognize it as important. They view 5 year olds as 5 year olds in all circumstances. Ocassionally it's just not that simple.

While I learned a lot as a child and am acceptably intelligent due to all of my mulling over things, it does not mean I didn't suffer penalties in social awkwardness, and other parts of normal life due to my demand to know what I needed to know.

Like for Laxion here, sometimes you latch onto an idea and work at it awkwardly until you eventually get it, or you never get it and just ride it until you die or the idea becomes unimportant. I'm not saying Laxion is definitely wrong in everything that he does, but I am saying that some things Laxion spends excessive amounts of time on currently are less important than others. Most intellectuals tend to discard ideas when they find them to be irrelevant no matter how nice they sound. And some children are very much intellectuals, but when they start in on something not knowing the basics they are treated as children not as intellectuals.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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14-03-2011, 11:27 AM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
(14-03-2011 10:31 AM)Dregs Wrote:  I for one live in an area, and community where there is very little religous pressure. I also am in a family where there is very little religous speak. So not making a big deal out of the God issue causes almost no stress. I can imagine in more Bible beltish areas, or within certain families that some early intervention would be called for.

We live in similar areas and have similar backgrounds. My kids don't have any real risk of over-exposure to religion either. My oldest (and next year my youngest too) goes go to Hebrew School on Sunday's, though. I have an agnostic, culturally Jewish mother who will be crushed if I don't send them so they can at least learn about their culture and where they came from. I've no interest in crushing mom so I do this one thing. But, I'm not that worried about the impacts of it. I grew up with a lot more religious exposure then my kids have and I still found my own way. And, my parents took me to services but mostly for the social aspects and never pushed religion on me as a kid. My kids aren't even getting the social aspect of services.

Raising kids is really a "best efforts" kind of a thing. No one is an expert parent and there is more than a little luck involved. I think most parents do the best they can, want their kids to succeed, but every now and again you get one that goes off the deep and and, despite his parents best efforts and intentions, becomes a serial killer or shoots up a school or an elected officials meet-and-greet event. There certainly are some bad parents out there, people who beat their kids, etc., but I think that is the exception, not the rule.

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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14-03-2011, 11:55 AM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
Indeed, parents do the best they can, I've never claimed my parents to be particularly bad parents. It's just in parenting discussions good to sometimes mention a few things.

I can't blame my parents for being unaware of my needs as a girl, I didn't come out and tell them they were needs until I was older. They still for a while thought it was somehow their fault, luckily for my mom who is a sensitive parent I reinforced the fact that it wasn't.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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14-03-2011, 12:11 PM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
TTA's newest podcast talks about "how can we raise a child as atheists without projecting our beliefs or indoctrinating them as religious families do?"

Raising a Free-Thinking Child podcast

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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14-03-2011, 12:33 PM
RE: "I think god is a myth"
Stark Raving, you may have been confusing BnW with me - my wife is a devout Christian (though she's in one of her less-devout moods as of late, which honestly are pretty awesome).

Congrats to BnW on your son - I mentioned this in another thread but I felt the same thing the other night when my daughter mentioned in a passing, humming song that she "hopes church is canceled tomorrow so that everyone can have a fun day."

As for my personal situation with my children, it's difficult, and it's been compounded by the fact that I am still slowly becoming comfortable with my own position on theism. Only within the last year have I reached the point where I would answer "atheist" if someone were to ask me what religion I am or what I believe or whatever (though by no means do I consider atheism a religion).

I did not tell my daughter that I didn't believe in god until she straight up asked me - particularly because I'm in a situation where it would put me at odds with her mother. I don't hide my atheism, but I don't promote it necessarily. I do try to promote healthy skepticism and critical thinking when I can. My oldest daughter is particularly captivated by tv and movie special effects, and frequently asks if things she sees on screen are real. When I can, I explain things like camera tricks and computer imagery and how they achieve certain things on screen.

Any way, each situation is different, especially when dealing with differing opinions and beliefs. Good luck to all of you who trying to raise children, no matter how you're trying to raise them. Smile

Our brains deceive us on a regular basis, so we have to find ways to fight back.
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