I've Been Thinking...
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23-02-2013, 09:35 AM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
Oh, boy. This all sounds familiar... My precious son will be six in March. (What?!) I, too, felt that urge to have a child. I was much younger, but I still felt the "need." (I've also been a little mature in the thinking department despite my age. I always seemed to have thought about ten years older than I needed to.) Anyway, my ex (my son's dad) was a dick. He treated me poorly and I would give 110% it seemed, at times and he didn't seem to do anything to fulfill my need to be treated fairly. I never technically actively TRIED to get preggers but I also didn't care if it did happen at one point. I realized I was lonely. I wanted a little person to raise and treat with all the good behavior I wasn't receiving in MY life. I vowed to treat my child with all the respect and show discipline (because I didn't get it adequately get enough growing up) and encourage that child to grow in life to be a good person.

Eventually it happened. I was really young. I still strive to be the best parent I can but since he was born:

*I grew out of his father's apparent need to control me and I got the hell out of there. <---- proud of that one Smile
*I had to quit college. (I got a 4.0 and graduated high school; at least I did THAT.) But I miss school. It's hard to do it when one has to worry about a child and all the stuff that comes with raising them.
*I went through a bitter custody battle. It wasn't as crazy as some of them can get, but I still despised the fact that the court could choose what parent was "right" in the raising of our child. I am also not a vindictive gal. I just wanted time split right down the line. 50/50. It's that way now, but I still can't stand to even talk to his father. Dodgy
*I realized that although I'm proud of all the stuff my son is learning so far in life and he won't stop growing, (even though I ask him to stop) I am STRUGGLING. Mentally, financially, morally...

Once someone has a child, that child becomes their life. The parent must be prepared to sacrifice EVERYTHING potentially to make sure that child is getting all they need. One can imagine how "perfect" it could be and all the great things that CAN be accomplished and fulfilled, but it's not a guarantee.

(EMPTY YOUR PRIVATE MESSAGES...)

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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23-02-2013, 09:54 AM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
The fact that you're thinking this out in the way you are tells me that you would be more than a great father.

It might take a little time though.

Just be patient.

The puzzle pieces are scattered on the floor, and it is you that has to put it together.
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23-02-2013, 10:26 AM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
Your growing up Mis, its something we all never stop doing.
I dont think anybody can "prepare" to be a parent. Financially things help but its all a learning curve. Showing a want is a start over having it foisted upon you through an "accident".
You may still meet "the one" and settle down, even if you have a child and break up with someone that wont stop you from loving your kid and if your adult enough you simply wont allow you and your exs problems to manifest in front of the child, not from your side at least.

Chicks dig wannabe fathers anyway Cool

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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23-02-2013, 11:40 AM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
(23-02-2013 01:14 AM)kpax Wrote:  A child isn't going to save your relationship. Don't be this desperate over some woman. Fucking get it together.....Let's see the same passion for creating your own happiness - without your bitch ex.
I swear, it's like half the time people don't actually read what I'm saying. Dodgy

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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23-02-2013, 11:43 AM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
(23-02-2013 09:35 AM)59pEaNUt89 Wrote:  (EMPTY YOUR PRIVATE MESSAGES...)
I did after I sent my last message. It didn't change anything. Undecided

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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23-02-2013, 12:00 PM (This post was last modified: 23-02-2013 12:04 PM by Peanut.)
RE: I've Been Thinking...
I did after I sent my last message. It didn't change anything. Undecided
[/quote]

Side panel- empty trash bin. Select all of them. I figured it out from the last time I asked you. All better now =) You'll see that the bar at the top has gone down. (percentage.)
Message when you get it. It won't let ME send anything to you

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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23-02-2013, 12:22 PM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
Sidebar message fixed! Back to the "dilemma..."

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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23-02-2013, 01:29 PM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
Don't wait too long.

At 30 I find myself in the dilema of really wanting a child BUT also worrying that I may be too old. *shrug*
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23-02-2013, 01:32 PM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
(23-02-2013 01:29 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Don't wait too long.

At 30 I find myself in the dilema of really wanting a child BUT also worrying that I may be too old. *shrug*
My grandfather was more than 50 years old when my dad was born and he turned out to be a fine man. I wouldn't worry about your age too much. Thumbsup

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23-02-2013, 01:35 PM
RE: I've Been Thinking...
(23-02-2013 01:32 PM)Vosur Wrote:  
(23-02-2013 01:29 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Don't wait too long.

At 30 I find myself in the dilema of really wanting a child BUT also worrying that I may be too old. *shrug*
My grandfather was more than 50 years old when my dad was born and he turned out to be a fine man. I wouldn't worry about your age too much. Thumbsup
Yeah but I dont want to be the old mom who can't have fun with her kids and they are embarrassed of Confused
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