I've been thinking..
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27-05-2016, 08:14 PM
I've been thinking..
Last week while I was away for training I posted a thread on how sad I was. After thinking about it nearly non stop and the comments.. I've been thinking that maybe I do need people. Like I need approval, I need to be liked, I need to be accepted. My boy friend asked me if I ever learned how to "be alone" and the answer is that I didn't. Being by myself to me, is one of the worst things. The other night I thought I would rather be dead than deal with this. Probably that no one would even notice because they only talk to me if I go to them first.. This is when I realized I had a problem.

The funny thing is.. My preacher used to tell us that people who feel like this need Jesus. There's a Jesus shaped hole in your heart that can only be filled by him. That with Jesus in your life you won't feel sad or depressed if you give it over to him.. Yet while I was a Christian I would cry myself to sleep begging for peace over this. Now I know that no, I was never taught how to deal with these things.. Only that everything was fixed by Jesus. It's not true and I can see it now. I can also see that I might have some deep down issues.. But because I was scared to ever ask for help I never got it..

Thanks preacher man, for making me believe something was spiritually wrong with me when really it was not.
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27-05-2016, 08:52 PM
I've been thinking..
You need Allah. There is an Allah shaped hole in your heart.
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27-05-2016, 09:02 PM
RE: I've been thinking..
(27-05-2016 08:14 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  There's a Jesus shaped hole in your heart that can only be filled by him.

I know another hole they wish Jesus would fill Angel

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOW_Ioi2wtuPa88FvBmnBgQ my youtube
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27-05-2016, 09:08 PM
RE: I've been thinking..
All you need is you, others can then fill in the gaps.

Nice people will be drawn to you. You have nothing to worry about. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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27-05-2016, 09:50 PM (This post was last modified: 28-05-2016 08:46 AM by DLJ.)
RE: I've been thinking..
Wow! That's a whole heap of introspection you went through. Nice one!

Do you feel you've reached a new level of self-understanding?

It's cool and scary when that happens, right?

Extraversion
Wikipedia Wrote:Extraversion is "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with obtaining gratification from what is outside the self".
Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. Extraverts are energized and thrive off being around other people.

Does that sound accurate?

another random internet page Wrote:d. Weaknesses of the extroverted attitude include:
(1) a dependence on making a good impression,
(2) easily making and breaking relationships,
(3) regarding reflection as being morbid and avoiding being alone,
(4) lacking self-criticism, and
(5) accepting the morals and conventions of the day--conventional.

Does that sound like a good description of a Jesus-hole?

When presenting assessment results, it's usual to state the above not as weakness but as "areas for further improvement". However, before one starts working on an "improvement plan", it's worth asking the question of "Does it matter?"

For example, #2 ... the ability to 'easily make and break relationships' seems to me to be a skill worth keeping.

If it's any consolation, I suspect that there are more than a few introverts here on TTA who can empathise with you here:

(27-05-2016 08:14 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  ...
The other night I thought I would rather be dead than deal with this.
...

... although, in reverse. For some there is a powerful need to avoid interactions with all those peopley creatures out there.

Personally? I blame Darwin.

Undecided

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28-05-2016, 08:47 AM
RE: I've been thinking..
(27-05-2016 09:50 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Wow! That's a whole heap of introspection you went through. Nice one!

Do you feel you've reached a new level of self-understanding?

It's cool and scary when that happens, right?

Extraversion
Wikipedia Wrote:Extraversion is "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with obtaining gratification from what is outside the self".
Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. Extraverts are energized and thrive off being around other people.

Does that sound accurate?

another random internet page Wrote:d. Weaknesses of the extroverted attitude include:
(1) a dependence on making a good impression,
(2) easily making and breaking relationships,
(3) regarding reflection as being morbid and avoiding being alone,
(4) lacking self-criticism, and
(5) accepting the morals and conventions of the day--conventional.

Does that sound like a good description of a Jesus-hole?

When presenting assessment results, it's usual to state the above not as weakness but as "areas for further improvement". However, before one starts working on an "improvement plan", it's worth asking the question of "Does it matter?"

For example, #2 ... the ability to 'easily make and break relationships' seems to me to be a skill worth keeping.

If it's any consolation, I suspect that there are more than a few introverts here on TTA who can empathise with you here:

(27-05-2016 08:14 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  ...
The other night I thought I would rather be dead than deal with this.
...

... although, in reverse. For some there is a powerful need to avoid interactions with all those peopley creatures out there.

Personally? I blame Darwin.

Undecided


all of that seems about right. but then theres a problem. i feel like i have the need to socialize but i cant. i have the need to be liked, but i struggle.
i dont know if its just another part of my personality.. but part of me needs all of that, but another part prevents me from even talking to people. i need them to like me but i have complete fear that they dont. so i cant do anything.
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28-05-2016, 08:54 AM
RE: I've been thinking..
Take classes, volunteer or join a group. It allows you to meet people and socialize as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. And because you can pick the type of activity, people will be pre-screened and will have things in common with you. That makes it easy to find something to talk about.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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28-05-2016, 04:59 PM
RE: I've been thinking..
Just sounds like you are an extrovert. You like to be with people and it bothers you when you are not. There is no learning to be alone really. Just like for an introvert there is no learning to be with people. You just learn to accept that sometimes you have to Wink

I agree with Dom, just fill your spare time with things you like and do those in a group. Maybe a sports club, a class, or just a loose group that comes together, or a group of gaming people (LARPers and RPGers usually are very social people).

When you are alone at home, you could have the TV or Radio on. Or some stream on the internet. Something with people, you know because it feels more like an interaction in the background than music or a documentary show would.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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28-05-2016, 05:05 PM
RE: I've been thinking..
Good suggestions. i don't actually know of any groups around here for anything but we did start going to the gym and I didn't panic so maybe that will help
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28-05-2016, 05:09 PM
RE: I've been thinking..
In my experience no good can come of that.

#sigh
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