I've just realized why I came here in the first place
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24-02-2014, 10:01 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
You are damn right I wouldn't give that shit to you.































I'd sell it. Wink
No, but really. It is really awesome to have you here. The few times I chatted with you before I left, I thought you were a cool cat. Big Grin

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24-02-2014, 10:08 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
I never really know what to say anymore to comfort someone in grief... There is nothing honest I can say to make someone feel better. I can't say "he's gone to a better place", or "he's happy now", cos that's just not true.

Because the fact is, death sucks. However you look at it, its a horrible situation.

I hate it when people say "R.I.P".... The most corny, clichéd and half-arsed tribute you can pay to someone. And they can't even be bothered to put it in full.

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24-02-2014, 10:13 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:08 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  I never really know what to say anymore to comfort someone in grief... There is nothing honest I can say to make someone feel better. I can't say "he's gone to a better place", or "he's happy now", cos that's just not true.

Because the fact is, death sucks. However you look at it, its a horrible situation.

I hate it when people say "R.I.P".... The most corny, clichéd and half-arsed tribute you can pay to someone. And they can't even be bothered to put it in full.

Death only sucks for the survivors. The best thing to do is to offer specific help and do it - think of something you can do for the person and actually do it. That goes a lot further than empty slogans and crocodile tears.

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24-02-2014, 10:21 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:13 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(24-02-2014 10:08 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  I never really know what to say anymore to comfort someone in grief... There is nothing honest I can say to make someone feel better. I can't say "he's gone to a better place", or "he's happy now", cos that's just not true.

Because the fact is, death sucks. However you look at it, its a horrible situation.

I hate it when people say "R.I.P".... The most corny, clichéd and half-arsed tribute you can pay to someone. And they can't even be bothered to put it in full.

Death only sucks for the survivors. The best thing to do is to offer specific help and do it - think of something you can do for the person and actually do it. That goes a lot further than empty slogans and crocodile tears.

Just acknowledgement of their feelings is comforting to hear. Yes, it obvious that a person is grieving, but its also nice to hear 'i know you really loved him, and i know you are hurting, and i'm sorry for your loss' and give a hug. Understanding, care and a soft place to fall- its what we all need when we are down.

to the OP- I enjoy having you here!! And find myself here for the same reasons--so tired of hearing godspeak constantly.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-02-2014, 10:22 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:13 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(24-02-2014 10:08 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  I never really know what to say anymore to comfort someone in grief... There is nothing honest I can say to make someone feel better. I can't say "he's gone to a better place", or "he's happy now", cos that's just not true.

Because the fact is, death sucks. However you look at it, its a horrible situation.

I hate it when people say "R.I.P".... The most corny, clichéd and half-arsed tribute you can pay to someone. And they can't even be bothered to put it in full.

Death only sucks for the survivors. The best thing to do is to offer specific help and do it - think of something you can do for the person and actually do it. That goes a lot further than empty slogans and crocodile tears.

Yes, but over the internet its difficult.

If someone posts in the support page that they've lost someone close, I always feel I should say something helpful, but I just can't think of anything beyond "sorry for your loss".

If you knew the person well, you can talk about their life and the good times you spent together. But if you don't know them, its difficult to find helpful words.

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24-02-2014, 10:23 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:08 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  I hate it when people say "R.I.P".... The most corny, clichéd and half-arsed tribute you can pay to someone. And they can't even be bothered to put it in full.

Well, sure, but on the other hand, when someone types it without the punctuation it makes it look like they're captioning their farts. So there's that.

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24-02-2014, 10:27 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:22 AM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  Yes, but over the internet its difficult.

If someone posts in the support page that they've lost someone close, I always feel I should say something helpful, but I just can't think of anything beyond "sorry for your loss".

If you knew the person well, you can talk about their life and the good times you spent together. But if you don't know them, its difficult to find helpful words.

Nah- just takes being genuine and not being shy about letting your feelings show.

today- a Facebook friend that I knew briefly before they moved a few years ago, posted that their dog died: I don't ever remember meeting the dog when they lived here.

Here's my response: I'm so sorry to hear this. We said goodbye to our Nilla just before New Years. I am convinced that we never are dog owners, instead they own us and our hearts. Keep sharing the memories, it will bring tears, but it helps to heal. (((Hugs!))))

just be sincere…..while my words didn't say all that much, it was better than the two pages of 'I'm praying for you' and 'sorry for your loss' posts.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-02-2014, 11:55 AM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 10:21 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  , but its also nice to hear 'i know you really loved him, and i know you are hurting, and i'm sorry for your loss' and give a hug.

Actually, I hated that when hubby died because it made me cry. I wanted to cry on my own terms. The hug without the words was good, but reinforcing the bad feelings with words was not appreciated. I guess I liked to do my grieving in private, and do constructive things when friends were there.

I suppose it depends on the person....

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24-02-2014, 02:28 PM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 11:55 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(24-02-2014 10:21 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  , but its also nice to hear 'i know you really loved him, and i know you are hurting, and i'm sorry for your loss' and give a hug.

Actually, I hated that when hubby died because it made me cry. I wanted to cry on my own terms. The hug without the words was good, but reinforcing the bad feelings with words was not appreciated. I guess I liked to do my grieving in private, and do constructive things when friends were there.

I suppose it depends on the person....

I know what you mean. It's like they're trying to make you feel better but it's like an intense opposite feeling that you're getting. Just when you think you are pulling it together, they just have to make you cry. And it feels terrible because it's almost forced out of you.

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24-02-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: I've just realized why I came here in the first place
(24-02-2014 11:55 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(24-02-2014 10:21 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  , but its also nice to hear 'i know you really loved him, and i know you are hurting, and i'm sorry for your loss' and give a hug.

Actually, I hated that when hubby died because it made me cry. I wanted to cry on my own terms. The hug without the words was good, but reinforcing the bad feelings with words was not appreciated. I guess I liked to do my grieving in private, and do constructive things when friends were there.

I suppose it depends on the person....

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