I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
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10-04-2013, 05:16 PM
I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
Ever since I got sick again (about 2 months ago), its crept in every few days. I'd never felt depressed before, not even the first time I was sick (for almost 3 years). The only addiction I've ever had was exercise, and I'm really missing the endorphin rush, but I can't even get that anymore.

- Can't workout
- Cramping and twitching a lot
- Pain in my face and back
- Nothing is interesting
- The weather sucks
- I feel lonely
- Joined a dating site a couple days ago
- Everybody has college or university experience
- Even the idiots that went to college for "hair styling" or "waste of money 101" dont bother to respond
- And the ones who really are intelligent... Why should I expect that they will?
- Of course they dont
- Even if they did... Even if they really liked me...
- I'm not good enough. What I would want to give, I don't have
- I got soaked on the way into work
- Shivering caused more cramping
- Got a message on the dating site Smile
- From a guy offering a blowjob... Sad
- Constantly interupted at work while typing
- Hands aching cause cold and crampy
- Power goes out, didn't save...
- And I don't even have any friends to talk to... One I was talking to recently decided to hate me
- I just want to go to bed
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10-04-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
I'm sorry -- can't blame ya for feeling depressed anyone would be. Wish I could do or say more.

Hug


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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10-04-2013, 05:32 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
If this keeps up, see a doctor to make sure it isn't physical first. When that's either ruled out or taken care of you can either move on from it or perhaps use some appropriate meds at least for the short term.

Hope you feel better soon.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 09:41 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
(10-04-2013 05:26 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I'm sorry -- can't blame ya for feeling depressed anyone would be. Wish I could do or say more.

Hug

Thank you... I know you don't know me, but feel obligated... But really, thank you. I've been being ignored all day, all week..

But, two things come to mind:
Firstly, women and men think differently. I wasn't really looking for validation of my feelings. If anything, I would have preferred a solution, or to be told outright that I shouldn't feel that way because ______... Or even just an "its not so bad"

Second thing, now that my feelings have been validated, it seems more real... And that sucks even more.



I really need a friend... And the only friends I have are guys I haven't spoken with in years... I need a friend thats a girl, but I'm terrible at that, and only mess it up with testosterone fueled advances.
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10-04-2013, 09:43 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
Get thee to a doctor!

This is especially important since you can pinpoint exactly when it started.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 09:56 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
(10-04-2013 09:43 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Get thee to a doctor!

This is especially important since you can pinpoint exactly when it started.

But I already know the reasons behind it, they're things I've been ignoring for a long time... And the only medical one isn't curable...

-I barely scraped by in highschool
-I never attended college or university
-I didn't show appreciation for the only non-family who has loved me, and I wouldn't go back to her if I could... She thinks I'm a loser, and I don't doubt the validity of that claim.
-I'm 26 and I physically feel like I'm 65 most days now
-I lost 3 years of my life to this auto-immune shit. And the high I had when I felt I was in the clear, became a screaming nose dive when I got sick again.
-And those 3 wasted years are just the ones I have an excuse for...
-I have no plan for the future, and I don't even know where to start.

...
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today

And then the one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You've missed the starting gun

And you run and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it's sinking

Racing around
To come up behind you again

The sun is the same
In a relative way
But you're older

Shorter of breath
And one day closer to death
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10-04-2013, 10:03 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
I can tell you where to start...here and now.

Being sick sucks! Giving up time to deal with cancer sucked bigtime, as do the residual effects but that's the sucky hand I was dealt.

Now and then I use an antidepressant. I am also stubborn and don't use them as much as I probably should and occasionally bottom out. Then I go back on them again.

I am 55, very soon to be 56 and am FINALLY a sophomore in college. I should have my AA next May. My dad's lady friend got her degree when she was in her 70s.

See if some meds will help...it's not a sentence...you may not need them forever but they could help you get over this hump. You can do this! Right now you can't see your way out...but it's there...know that it's there.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 10:03 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
And, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 10:06 PM (This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 10:40 PM by Peanut.)
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling low, Wearethecosmos Sad

I made the "sad face" frown a few times while reading that.

You got friends on the forum that you can always talk to. Every time I needed support or some other advice, people were and STILL ARE here for me. I know I've never met any of them and I probably never will, but there's something awesome about confiding in strangers: I'm able to open up and be myself 100% of the time.

Here's a virtual hug Hug

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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10-04-2013, 10:35 PM
RE: I've never been depressed before... it sucks.
(10-04-2013 09:56 PM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  
(10-04-2013 09:43 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Get thee to a doctor!

This is especially important since you can pinpoint exactly when it started.

But I already know the reasons behind it, they're things I've been ignoring for a long time... And the only medical one isn't curable...

-I barely scraped by in highschool
-I never attended college or university
-I didn't show appreciation for the only non-family who has loved me, and I wouldn't go back to her if I could... She thinks I'm a loser, and I don't doubt the validity of that claim.
-I'm 26 and I physically feel like I'm 65 most days now
-I lost 3 years of my life to this auto-immune shit. And the high I had when I felt I was in the clear, became a screaming nose dive when I got sick again.
-And those 3 wasted years are just the ones I have an excuse for...
-I have no plan for the future, and I don't even know where to start.

...
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today

And then the one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You've missed the starting gun

And you run and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it's sinking

Racing around
To come up behind you again

The sun is the same
In a relative way
But you're older

Shorter of breath
And one day closer to death

Friendships come in many ways....

For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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