I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
|
|
|
03-09-2012, 09:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
(30-08-2012 11:17 PM)Erxomai Wrote:(30-08-2012 10:59 PM)Alice Wrote: I don't know about you but I feel like I don't even know where to start with those skills. How do they develop, do I just wait for them? I like your comment about seeing accomplishments as your own, I had never thought about that. At least that is a happy thought. I feel like I am in a urgent mode, like I don't have time to figure it out I need to know what to do now. I feel rushed. I have a 5 and 2 year old and we have bibles all over. bible stories, everything. they love reading them, well my 5 year old and just from the short time she was in sunday school she is sure jesus is real. like tonight she wanted for book time bible stories for girls, so we read it and she commented "that is real". She knows I don't believe in god and I want her to choose, but I want to make sure that SHE is actually the one making that choice. Thing is I don't even know what I am doing so how am I suppose to know what to do with them so that they never have to go through all of this. Im am dumbfounded. The afterlife was always there, now theres one, now what should I do with it? It's hard to accept, its hard to comprehend (even though if we were never exposed to religion it would be so much easier and we would have epic coping skills lol). thank you I will check out those podcasts! “The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.” ― Baruch Spinoza |
||||
03-09-2012, 09:39 AM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
(30-08-2012 11:20 PM)nach_in Wrote: I didn't suffer the same as you, I found the things that helped me cope with the world before I completely lost my faith so I had somewhere to start. I read a few things about uncertainty and how it permeates everything, not in a quantum theory point of view, from a more human "we can't know everything even if we had all the information available" way, and the idea of trying to embrace this uncertainty was really cool, I live with some kind of anxiety now, but not the bad one, that kind of anxiety we feel before an adventure but that's everyday. My husband is no longer Christian either, but is more agnostic. He isn't sure if there is anything but think there might be. How would we experiement? “The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.” ― Baruch Spinoza |
||||
03-09-2012, 09:41 AM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
(31-08-2012 02:05 AM)LadyJane Wrote: I think this is one of the single most difficult concepts in transitioning from a believing way of life to a non believing. So much dependancy and pseudo answers are given with indoctrination. The mind literally becomes an automated reflex of the larger mob-mentality (re: hypnotized) cult/congregation/way of life. Yes please share as much as possible. Like what books? And just any other tips. “The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.” ― Baruch Spinoza |
||||
03-09-2012, 11:37 AM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
(03-09-2012 09:39 AM)Alice Wrote:(30-08-2012 11:20 PM)nach_in Wrote: I didn't suffer the same as you, I found the things that helped me cope with the world before I completely lost my faith so I had somewhere to start. I read a few things about uncertainty and how it permeates everything, not in a quantum theory point of view, from a more human "we can't know everything even if we had all the information available" way, and the idea of trying to embrace this uncertainty was really cool, I live with some kind of anxiety now, but not the bad one, that kind of anxiety we feel before an adventure but that's everyday. Ask them questions, talk to them about other religions, make them doubt and see what happens. ![]() |
||||
25-11-2012, 04:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
I always asked my kid if she wanted the scientific answer to her questions or the mythological. If she wanted mythological I was as likely to give her Native American, Yoruba, Norse, Greek or Biblical. I let her decide for herself which truth worked for her.
|
||||
06-12-2012, 09:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
RE: I've never had an addiction but sometimes I feel like religion was
(31-08-2012 02:05 AM)LadyJane Wrote: I think this is one of the single most difficult concepts in transitioning from a believing way of life to a non believing. So much dependancy and pseudo answers are given with indoctrination. The mind literally becomes an automated reflex of the larger mob-mentality (re: hypnotized) cult/congregation/way of life.I am actually quite new to using a forum so I don't know if its kosher to quote a whole post just to say excellent post or is it just better to hit the like button. In any case I have just done both. I haven't figured out how to collapse the quoted posts yet though. (30-08-2012 10:09 PM)Alice Wrote: (30-08-2012 10:59 PM)Alice Wrote:(30-08-2012 10:20 PM)Erxomai Wrote: Alice, a lot of your experience resonates with what I've gone through and in many ways have just discovered how horrible I am at coping with life because in the past I always prayed for help, or wisdom. I felt my steps were directed by the Lord and he was guiding me through life. Intellectually I can look at my past and be grateful that I now know all of those accomplishments were mind alone. However, to use your phrase, I too still feel emotionally stunted or developmentally delayed in a certain sense. I love the freedom of not being so obsessed with trying to live in a way that honored God. But in other ways, I'm just beginning to see how deep my damage was and feel like I'm starting over with learning some real basic coping skills to make life have meaning. Both my wife and I are going through a similar process especially with our children. Our oldest daughter who is twelve seems to be coping with it well. She has always thought in a very logical way, is not an overly emotional child, and has stated she has been enjoying our recent conversation about religion and the history of the bible, but she does miss singing for the church choir. Our son who is 10 is glad to be no longer attending church, but says he still believes God exists and wants to still pray. It has been bit rougher for him, but we have also been having some good conversations. I was never really able to talk them openly about religion when religious since I was struggling with it myself and every time they asked questions I had no answers or the answers I had felt false as I spoke them. My youngest daughter who is seven won't be convinced that Santa is not real which is funny because as parents we never believed in playing the Santa clause game. She is quite the Santa apologist and is determined every year to make us believe in him. So I think it makes for interesting foreshadowed possibilities . In any case I will focus on critical thinking skills at home and let them believe what they want. Truthfully and above all the largest thing I fear for them is that they will not be able to find a wonderful and fulfilled life. My wife and I have told them multiple times that as long as we are alive we will never abandon them no matter what. Whether it is being a doctor, food worker, president of the united states, or even finding themselves in prison we will be their for them. That is what family means to us. So largely when it comes to them I am not too concerned what beliefs or lack there of they may have. As for my wife we came to the conclusion of atheism through different paths but together. We have both experienced much of what you have described. There is heavy loss very close in nature to losing a relative or friend, but also a new and exciting freedom (which is ironic since I was only supposed to be feeling free in Christ, hmmm) For me though I think the addiction still continues through obsessiveness. Thats what my head does and all I can do is ride it out. Not compulsive just obsessive. I will spend entire days watching debates, conferences, reading (forums, prominent atheist, prominent apologist, church history, etc...) Makes work tough sometimes when I have this stuck in my head. This is just my personality though and affects other areas of my life. I don't mind though since I am still able to function and I have learned some pretty cool stuff along the way. (Learning to play the Great Gate of Kieve on the piano was one of them, Oh and it got me through college to) My wife has gone the more traditional emotional route and we balance each other out this way. Though I can tell it will be awhile before things will start to feel normal again. I am no longer fighting my inner demons. We are all on the same side now. |
||||
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)