If jesus was in your home
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03-09-2010, 08:17 AM
If jesus was in your home
I just listened to red solvines song "if jesus came to your home" and first off I'd like to say I like this song because its consistent with christian propaganda; every verse of it is trying to make you turn against your own lifestyle.
so what would you do if jesus came to your house without calling ahead?
personally I'd think some hobo was trying to break into my house so I'd call the police to have him removed.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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03-09-2010, 08:54 AM
RE: If jesus was in your home
I would ask a family member if he really looks like me, since my avatar is supposed to be Jesus, but its actually me.

Also it would be cool if he could turn a little (with little I of course mean alot) of our cheap tap water into wine. Oh, and I love smoked fish, so it would be cool if he could make miracles with fish too, since the prices are not very low.

Then I would interview him and ask all my questions about the bible and christianity, and I would love to hear how he feels about his father acting like an ass in the old days.

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Accept me or go to hell.
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03-09-2010, 09:17 AM
 
RE: If jesus was in your home
I'm kind of fond of the Jesus character. I'd invite him in for a doobie.
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03-09-2010, 09:21 AM
 
RE: If jesus was in your home
I'd have a nice conversation with him and convert him to atheism Big Grin
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03-09-2010, 09:41 AM
RE: If jesus was in your home
Kikko Wrote:Also it would be cool if he could turn a little (with little I of course mean alot) of our cheap tap water into wine. Oh, and I love smoked fish, so it would be cool if he could make miracles with fish too, since the prices are not very low.

xD Me, too!

Of course, I'd probably turn him away since my room is unacceptably messy. I'd turn away my own parents from this shame. =P

"It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right." -Kathryn Schulz
I am 100% certain that I am wrong about something I am certain about right now. Because even if everything I stand for turns out to be completely true, I was still wrong about being wrong.
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03-09-2010, 09:53 AM
RE: If jesus was in your home
(03-09-2010 09:21 AM)TruthAddict Wrote:  I'd have a nice conversation with him and convert him to atheism :D

ROFL. The ultimate irony xD
After that you have to take him by the church :P imagine how much it would hurt the christians little heads, "jesus is our lord and savior, through him we find god. jesus does not believe in god, thus neither do we, but jesus will bring us to god..." its like some experiment with circular logic gone horribly awry.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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03-09-2010, 10:35 AM
RE: If jesus was in your home
Quote:After that you have to take him by the church Tongue imagine how much it would hurt the christians little heads, "jesus is our lord and savior, through him we find god. jesus does not believe in god, thus neither do we, but jesus will bring us to god..." its like some experiment with circular logic gone horribly awry.
This reminds me of what was teached (or is it taught?) to me in the confirmation camp: you can not pray to god, you have to pray to Jesus to get your message to god. But still they're the same goddamn person! Imagine the bolded text screamed by Penn Jilette.

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Accept me or go to hell.
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03-09-2010, 01:10 PM
 
RE: If jesus was in your home
I'd make him wash my feet then ask him what is really that upsetting about foreign exchange.
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03-09-2010, 02:03 PM
 
RE: If jesus was in your home
I would ask him to show some miraculous tricks to be sure that he's indeed Jesus Christ. If he was, I would go to the psychiatrist or get some therapy.
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03-09-2010, 02:07 PM
RE: If jesus was in your home
Quote:I would ask him to show some miraculous tricks to be sure that he's indeed Jesus Christ.
Dont make him walk on water, he's got holes in his feet.

Correct me when I'm wrong.
Accept me or go to hell.
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