If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
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09-07-2015, 03:09 AM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2015 04:01 AM by WalkingSnake.)
If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
I mean think about it. As a Christian, you're supposed to have a relationship with God that is closer than your friend or spouse (yeah, okay, get the perverted stuff out of your system. That's not really the point here). This means we're supposed to hold a higher standard for our relationship with God.

Okay, then. Let's think up some scenarios in our "earthly" relationships.

My wife and I, along with some friends, visit the Grand Canyon. My wife slips and she's hanging off the cliff. I could go help her, but I just let her hang there, and she falls to her death. My friends are like, "Dude, what the actual fuck?"

And I'm just like, "It's all part of my plan."


Or how about this:

Some psycho makes a bet with my dad. The psycho will torture me, kill my wife, give me diseases, a whole bunch of screwed up shit. All the while, the psycho will tell me he'll stop if I deny my love for my dad. And my dad just goes, "Yeah, sure. I know he's not going to break. But if you think he will, have at it."

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09-07-2015, 04:10 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
You could also stop going to work for half of the time and tell your boss that you only work in mysterious ways.
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09-07-2015, 04:49 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
I could buy a slave!!!

But then have to feed him. And clothe him.....

This shit could get expensive!

Cato had much advice on slave ownership. As a treat, he suggested giving the slave vinegar instead of wine, maybe once a month. I can't really remember.

But even vinegar is expensive these days! Probably cheaper to buy a cleanskin bottle of merlot.

But then I'd have a drunken and then hungover slave. Obviously he wouldn't get much work done. And here I am buying him clothes and food and wine???

Screw that idea. I have changed my mind. I can't afford a slave.

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09-07-2015, 05:17 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
And -- if you're a guy -- he wants you to cut of the end of your dick...................

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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09-07-2015, 05:58 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
I send this girl a letter telling her how much I love her. She's never actually seen me. But I see her all the time. I'm always watching her. I want her to marry me.

No no. We still won't see each other after marriage. Yet I'll be damned if I'd let her see other people. She must love me and only me. But at the end of the letter I do tell her that one day, I'll come for her.


Um, do you think she'll go for that?

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09-07-2015, 06:01 AM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2015 06:11 AM by Banjo.)
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
(09-07-2015 05:58 AM)WalkingSnake Wrote:  I send this girl a letter telling her how much I love her. She's never actually seen me. But I see her all the time. I'm always watching her. I want her to marry me.

No no. We still won't see each other after marriage. Yet I'll be damned if I'd let her see other people. She must love me and only me. But at the end of the letter I do tell her that one day, I'll come for her.


Um, do you think she'll go for that?

Biblical law states you can marry her if you rape her. Just pass her dad a few bucks and you'll be sweet. No worries.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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09-07-2015, 06:03 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
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Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-07-2015, 06:13 AM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
When fundamentalist Christians talk about a «relationship with God», they don't talk about a relationship like those we have today. They are talking about the kind of relationship the Bible describes: that of women slaving away to a mostly unknown man after being kind of sold away by its father so he doesn't have to take care of her anymore; she has to obey her husband; admire her husband; serve her husband; be very discrete; give him lots of children that he won't really take care of before they reach adolescence and always support him in all thing. In exchange she will receive food, clothing and housing because she would be stone to death if she made the mistake of working to get those. You see it’s a very «special relationship» based on one person having all the power and privilege and another member who must feel grateful of the little thing she was given even if that person could have easily obtained them in another fashion. For many fundamentalist Christian, the idea of a relationship based on trust, respect, friendship, sexual desire and equality is completely alien to them. So much so that they will consider those impossible.
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10-07-2015, 03:11 PM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
My kid doesn't do what I say, so I drown them and their puppy dog in my bathtub.

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10-07-2015, 04:25 PM
RE: If we treated our relationships the way God (Bible) treats us
New Christian dating site...

RapeDate.com
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