If you met Jesus,
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12-02-2013, 08:00 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
I would first have to determine which fictional character I'm dealing with. Is this baby Jesus ? Is this Jesus before he was crucified, after he was crucified, zombie Jesus, trinity Jesus (father /son / holy ghost) thing ? Is he god or does he have his own personality separate from the god character in the books ? Does he only have the water to wine, healing the blind, walk on water powers ? Is he a power ranger ? Can he do martial arts ? Does he speak english ?

So many questions to ask.

If I met the fictional story book character who was the simple son of a carpenter, with no magical powers, who spoke english and hadn't been crucified yet, then this is what I'd do.

We would sit down for a long chat, have some wine, cook some food together and then after lunch, I'd show him my wood working shop. I would then ask for his help in making a special project that a local church wanted built.
We would go out together at Home Depot and buy all the materials. Together side by side, Jesus would help me build this beautiful 20 ft high oak cross, polished with linseed oil, it would shine in the noon day sun.

On the day it was complete, we would both just stare at the beauty of it all and then I would whisper "But it's not complete". With a cordless nail gun in hand, I would laugh manically and chase him through the yard. Later that evening, deliver the cross to the church with Jesus nailed to it just as the good lord intended.

I would then tell the pastor my story and reassure him that if Jesus should come back again, he could count on me to put him back in his place, on the cross, every single time.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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12-02-2013, 08:26 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
I would wonder if someone slipped something in my drink.

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12-02-2013, 09:44 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
I met him this afternoon, he was cutting my grass...I asked him if he could trim the hedges when he was done...
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12-02-2013, 09:49 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
test test
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12-02-2013, 10:30 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
(12-02-2013 08:00 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  I would first have to determine which fictional character I'm dealing with. Is this baby Jesus ? Is this Jesus before he was crucified, after he was crucified, zombie Jesus, trinity Jesus (father /son / holy ghost) thing ? Is he god or does he have his own personality separate from the god character in the books ? Does he only have the water to wine, healing the blind, walk on water powers ? Is he a power ranger ? Can he do martial arts ? Does he speak english ?

So many questions to ask.

If I met the fictional story book character who was the simple son of a carpenter, with no magical powers, who spoke english and hadn't been crucified yet, then this is what I'd do.

We would sit down for a long chat, have some wine, cook some food together and then after lunch, I'd show him my wood working shop. I would then ask for his help in making a special project that a local church wanted built.
We would go out together at Home Depot and buy all the materials. Together side by side, Jesus would help me build this beautiful 20 ft high oak cross, polished with linseed oil, it would shine in the noon day sun.

On the day it was complete, we would both just stare at the beauty of it all and then I would whisper "But it's not complete". With a cordless nail gun in hand, I would laugh manically and chase him through the yard. Later that evening, deliver the cross to the church with Jesus nailed to it just as the good lord intended.

I would then tell the pastor my story and reassure him that if Jesus should come back again, he could count on me to put him back in his place, on the cross, every single time.



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12-02-2013, 10:59 PM
Re: If you met Jesus,
I would tell him to stop people from thinking I look like him!

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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12-02-2013, 11:19 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
"Dude, have you seen the shit they do in your name!?"

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13-02-2013, 03:25 AM
RE: If you met Jesus,
I'd ask him to sign my copy of the Veridican gospel...and one for my mum.
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13-02-2013, 12:25 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
I'd ask why he started a religion that was so unclear regarding its doctrine that it eventually split into (currently) over 41,000 (and counting) different Christian denominations over disagreements with what Jesus really had in mind.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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13-02-2013, 01:01 PM
RE: If you met Jesus,
Can he even speak English?

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