In Interesting Turn of Events
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19-12-2014, 06:23 AM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
and a wise saying I heard many years ago and has seemed to hold true, "house guests are like fish, they start to smell after 3 days and its time to get rid of them".


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"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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19-12-2014, 12:52 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
Good for you to stick with your guns. Wishing you the best. Thumbsup

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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27-12-2014, 02:57 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
looking forward to hearing how this trip went. hoping either you or winter will post an update.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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06-01-2015, 01:19 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
trip report?

I am jonesing for the next episode to this soap opera problem.

Curious how other family members behaved and how the two of you managed it all.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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09-01-2015, 08:20 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
So, I was seriously getting on JUST to update everyone, because I hated to leave people hanging...

The original plan was for Winter to spend half of his break with his family, and then come join us after Christmas...
I got there a few days before Christmas... As soon as I got there, My mom cancelled Winter's ticket...

This was just the beginning... She from there claimed that the three weeks that I was stuck there would be a "healing time" for our family... I, of course, was not aware that our family needed "healing"...

She then continues to yell and fight with me about whether or not Winter is the "one God wants me to marry" and saying that she's only doing this because she feels that someone needs to intervene... She then continues to plan a full on intervention involving my old youth leader, he brother (who's also a minister) and a forced bible study about all of the questions that I've been having...

So, just to recap so far... I finally open up to them about the questions I've been having, and she flips out... So I quickly clammed up after that... I didn't feel that I was even being heard at this point...

She then demands to see my phone... I refuse to give it to her, and she threatens to cancel my ticket back to Texas... So, I removed the battery from my phone and handed it to her... I told her that technically, she got what she wanted, because I knew that she was just wanting to make sure that I didn't call or talk to him that night... But that at that point I couldn't trust her to give her my phone... There were personal messages on there from several different friends that I didn't think they would appreciate me allowing her to snoop through... She didn't like that, obviously... and got pretty upset... But there was nothing that she could really do about it... anyway... moving on... Because believe it or not, I'm actually trying to keep this brief...

After she cancelled his ticket without bothering to warn me ahead of time so that she could trap me into an intervention and bible study--She has started blocking my friends phone numbers on my phone in an attempt to cut me off from him... Yes, I know, I'm a grown ass woman, and I really shouldn't have to answer to my mom in all of this... However, she's still paying for my phone bill--therefor she still has a minute amount of power... Although it's not really much... It's just enough to get on my nerves...

While I might not be able to use my phone to call his phone directly, there is still facebook messenger, skype, etc... So we've figured out ways to get around it... I'm just really pissed at this point that the peoplet that were acting like they were willing to give him a chance really weren't and they were only using it to make sure that I went home...

At this point, they will be LUCKY if I ever go back to see them again...

I've still been arguing with my mom off and on since I got back to Texas... I still haven't gotten to see Winter in nearly a month... but we will figure it out... We always do. Smile

Wait... bows and arrows, I just realized that your signature sounds really familiar... Is that from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure?

sorry... back on track now... At the moment, my aunt and I are actually on pretty good speaking terms... other than the fact that she happened to walk by the door at one point while I was at her house and heard me talking about a wedding, and she's threatening to tell my mom if I don't do so myself... But I'm trying to handle this whole thing one problem at a time... Lol...

As always... any advice is appreciated... At this point, I'm rather inclined to just tell my mom and my aunt both to go perform fellatio on a duck's penis... except I wouldn't word it so nicely...
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09-01-2015, 09:31 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
Wow. Blink

I think it is high time you told your mother that if she wants a relationship with you, that shit will not stand. If she chooses her beliefs over her daughter, so be it. But it will be her choice, you might be the one walking away but only because of her actions.

Give her the ultimatum. Fuck her paying for your phone, time to take care of that yourself. The second she threatened to cancel your ticket back to Texas is the second you should have told her you're just going to hitchhike back.

What she did was completely dishonest and you should tell her that.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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09-01-2015, 10:23 PM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
You have to find a way out of being dependent on them ASAP.

Once you aren't dependent, they have no power over you. I would delete everything off my phone and mail it to her. If she wants it so bad (and she's paying for it) she can have it. If she wants to speak to you she can write a letter. Generations of students managed without a cell phone, you will survive. Wink

But I would seriously give back all that I could. Give them less to hold over you. Get a job and a find a room mate- get out of aunts house. It might change your schooling plans, or it might make you want to just be independent faster.

Get your resume out to some recruiters. You might luck out with a company that pays tuition reimbursement.


P. S. Yes, from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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10-01-2015, 05:32 AM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
...

Fuck that. Tell them to get stuffed. They're treating you like property. You are not their toy to be told who to love or what to do with your life - your life belongs to you. Don't let them get away with this.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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10-01-2015, 05:53 AM (This post was last modified: 10-01-2015 02:30 PM by gofish!.)
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
(09-01-2015 08:20 PM)AutumnWolf000 Wrote:  So, I was seriously getting on JUST to update everyone, because I hated to leave people hanging...

The original plan was for Winter to spend half of his break with his family, and then come join us after Christmas...
I got there a few days before Christmas... As soon as I got there, My mom cancelled Winter's ticket...

This was just the beginning... She from there claimed that the three weeks that I was stuck there would be a "healing time" for our family... I, of course, was not aware that our family needed "healing"...

She then continues to yell and fight with me about whether or not Winter is the "one God wants me to marry" and saying that she's only doing this because she feels that someone needs to intervene... She then continues to plan a full on intervention involving my old youth leader, he brother (who's also a minister) and a forced bible study about all of the questions that I've been having...

So, just to recap so far... I finally open up to them about the questions I've been having, and she flips out... So I quickly clammed up after that... I didn't feel that I was even being heard at this point...

She then demands to see my phone... I refuse to give it to her, and she threatens to cancel my ticket back to Texas... So, I removed the battery from my phone and handed it to her... I told her that technically, she got what she wanted, because I knew that she was just wanting to make sure that I didn't call or talk to him that night... But that at that point I couldn't trust her to give her my phone... There were personal messages on there from several different friends that I didn't think they would appreciate me allowing her to snoop through... She didn't like that, obviously... and got pretty upset... But there was nothing that she could really do about it... anyway... moving on... Because believe it or not, I'm actually trying to keep this brief...

After she cancelled his ticket without bothering to warn me ahead of time so that she could trap me into an intervention and bible study--She has started blocking my friends phone numbers on my phone in an attempt to cut me off from him... Yes, I know, I'm a grown ass woman, and I really shouldn't have to answer to my mom in all of this... However, she's still paying for my phone bill--therefor she still has a minute amount of power... Although it's not really much... It's just enough to get on my nerves...

While I might not be able to use my phone to call his phone directly, there is still facebook messenger, skype, etc... So we've figured out ways to get around it... I'm just really pissed at this point that the peoplet that were acting like they were willing to give him a chance really weren't and they were only using it to make sure that I went home...

At this point, they will be LUCKY if I ever go back to see them again...

I've still been arguing with my mom off and on since I got back to Texas... I still haven't gotten to see Winter in nearly a month... but we will figure it out... We always do. Smile

Wait... bows and arrows, I just realized that your signature sounds really familiar... Is that from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure?

sorry... back on track now... At the moment, my aunt and I are actually on pretty good speaking terms... other than the fact that she happened to walk by the door at one point while I was at her house and heard me talking about a wedding, and she's threatening to tell my mom if I don't do so myself... But I'm trying to handle this whole thing one problem at a time... Lol...

As always... any advice is appreciated... At this point, I'm rather inclined to just tell my mom and my aunt both to go perform fellatio on a duck's penis... except I wouldn't word it so nicely...

So, with apologies in advance if any of this has already occurred to you and I'm telling grandma to suck eggs...

Firstly, kudos for standing your ground. Grown-ass or not, parents have a privileged position in our lives that, regrettably is sometimes abused. That holds great sway, so it's OK to feel the pressure from them more keenly.

Which brings me onto my second point: there are assholes in the world. Period. Sometimes, if we're lucky, they are not our family members. However, we're not always lucky. Recognise that despite the privileged position, that she may well just be an asshole and give yourself permission to see her as others would. That doesn't need to compromise what love you may feel for her. Goodness, I have a full blown undiagnosed psychopath as a brother, so believe me I know what it is like to have to reconcile that...

Finally, realising all this, recognise she only has the power you grant her. I suspect you know this and are being smart about this, but it bears repeating.

Oh, and P.S.: let me know if you need a handset and I send you one of my old US ones...

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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10-01-2015, 05:54 AM
RE: In Interesting Turn of Events
It's obvious now that they had planned along to trap you there all along. They were being dishonest and deceitful. They think they have absolute power over you. You need to show them that they do not.

They need to know that their actions have consequences. They will try to emotionally blackmail you. First priority is absolute independence. Any gift from them will give them power over you.
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